I think it is typical that you define yourself differently as your life progresses. Other than the basics, ie: "woman, caucasian, American", there is "daughter, student, etc; when first married "wife" might be next; when your life is consumed with children, you might have "mother" second; if your career is in high gear, that might be more important. Seems to me the most important role at the time of the definition would determine the order of definition. And the less roles, the shorter the definition. My answer should be so short...sorry.

Most , when asked the question "who are you?" define themselves by their name. If pressed further, they expand on that definition by saying what they do, what they have done, what the have. They usually don't go into their thoughts, feelings, values, and other things that actually make them who they are. Try pointing out one person you know. Then ask a group of other people, who also know that person to define that person without repeating anyone elses answer. I bet if you ask 20 people, you could get 20 different answers easy, based on how they see that person. I just called 20 people and asked them to give a simple definition of who I am. The answers varied. I am, in their words: 1. "the mother of 3" 2. "my daughter" 3. "a corrections officer" 4. "a good person" 5. "a heartbroken mess" 6. "my sister" 7. "a good listener" 8. "too nice for your own good" 9. "a strong woman" 10. "crazy" 11. "mean, because you won't come out drinking with me" 12. "my hero. really. 13. "much smaller than you were last year." 14. "trustworthy" 15. "faithful" 16. "dedicated" 17. "hell when scorned" 18. "too generous" 19. "sarcastic" 20. "too cerebral, you overthink things." 21. "have too much time on your hands." (too true!) So, that is the definition of me according to 21 friends, coworkers, and family members. It doesn't nessecarily fit my definition of myself, doesn't cover all of my thoughts, actions, values and flaws. (There would probably be more flaws if somebody ELSE asked them to define me!) But people base their definitions based on how they would define themselves when asked, they look at theose qualities that the define themselves by. If they define themselves as a wife or mother, that is the type of quality they may look for to define others. So, how one defines themselves is relative to how they see themselves. Hope that helps, or at least gives you one way to look at it.