The reality is that most (not all) men who get into an extra marital affair are looking for only sex. Most generally are satisfied with the marriage, do love their wife, but they are beasts of the world - meaning that males have needs which are difficult to ignore. Yes the man may play to being 'in love' to the other woman - but that was his act to get into her bed. Women tend to think of emotions like love when it comes to sex, men on the other hand can easily separate love from sex - the two do not need to go hand in hand. But men also learn in order to get sex they have to play up to a woman's needs/wants and expectations. Women seem to not understand this significant difference, they actually tend to believe a man when he says 'I love you' when all he wants is sex. Men 'show' their love - i.e. they marry, they stick around, they bring in the bacon, they sit there watching your TV instead of going to the bar - these are acts of love - they show (or should or are expected to show) you their love. Women 'talk' about love, they need to have it reaffirmed verbally, they need 'romance' or acts which are committed that underscore the love - bringing home flowers, writing poetry, taking her out to dinner. Since women desire 'talk' men will, reluctantly in most cases, 'talk' If they are in a sticky situation that 'talk' will be a lie. Men who have two women (wife and mistress) will say anything to keep both. It is a 'rare find' to find a woman who will play along and have sex with out actually inflicting real action out of the man to do ultimate gestures of love - like divorcing the present wife. Women who are mistresses in these situations tend to play the game thinking that if they play long enough they will change the man. But then nearly all women think they can actually change their man - which has resulted in many marriages turning into divorce. When we consider how many changes men do usually make to be a husband (they give up their bachelor life styles for married imprisonment) out of love (showing his love) it is no wonder that women think they are actually making changes in the man. The truth is that divorced men usually quickly revert to their undomesticated 'bachelor' life style when released back into the wild. No change actually took place. An extra marital affair will usually end with the mistress losing more often than not. Both individuals play a game, one that one or both of them will ultimately lose. When the 'ultimate card' is threatened the relationship is already beyond repair and if the man does drop the wife for the new one, that new relationship will quickly end.

Actions do speak louder than words. I really have no idea if a man will tell the "other woman" that he will leave her and never follow through because every relationship is different. I think that everyone has an ultimatum card and uses itwhenever they feel that its necessary to save the relationship.

i'll keep it a wee bit shorter. im a guy and we will say anything 2 stay out of trouble and keep you waiting. Actions DO speak louder than words.