No! We are equal in my marriage, and no obedience is owed to either of us.

Of course and if you have to ask this question leave now..

I don't obey anyone. That term is not a good thing in my mind. I think respect your husband/wife is a better term.

Depends on what you mean obey your husband as, i wouldnt personnally just cause you marry a person diesnt mean they OWN you in amny way.

I really dislike that term. I think that in today's world it is archaic.

My first husband had that attitude, who became my EX in short order. If you want someone to "obey" you..adopt them, don't marry them.

Yes, I think YOU should!! lol

You should honor your husband, just like he should honor you. If he's saying something just to be in control, I think he needs an adjustment.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha... that's a good one. A real knee slapper.

I think it works out very well if the family has a head, and the head of our family is my husband. Every ship, every team, needs a captain, a leader. We discuss things and come to a decision together. He can have the last word if he needs it. But if he had to decide something for the best of our family I would do as he decided because I trust him with everything, with my heart and my life and I know he will always do the best for our family. So, yes, I do obey him, but it's not demeaning at all, it's not like master slave. It's a mutual partnership where he shows me great dignity, honor and respect by listening to my knowledge,opinions and feelings and always takes them into consideration. In fact we usually decide to go my way as I am a good thinker and planning. But there are areas where I will choose to go my own way if it violates my principles.

I don't really 'obey' him as much as I will listen to his side & if I think what I want to do is going to hurt our marriage I'll talk it out & smooth it over but I don't 'obey' anyone but I'll respect their opinion if they respect mine.

Darn right you should woman! Now get me a beer and the sports page! XD

never obay anyone (except your dad, but always listen to everyone

I am very happy to obey my wife's wishes and I know she feels happy to reciprocate. We do not have the slightest problem about who must obey the other one's wishes *because we do not command* each other, we ask nicely. There's only one situation when I would expect her to obey my command and that would be if her life was in danger.

Obey sounds more like he's your master. In that context, whose you're husband to tell you want to do? I'm 26 and just got divorced from a controling abusive bastard, so my answer is NO. You are your own person.

if your a christian yes.. but then again if you married a christian man that was TRUE you wouldnt have no doubt in your mind but to respect him and listen.And he in turn would do the same. but if your talking about muslim guys.. wow.. one word..run.

There shouldn't be one partner "obeying" another partner in any relationship. "Obey" is what you have your dog do. If a relationship isn't based on mutual trust and respect you may fall into this situation but people are free to walk when a relationship is unacceptable to them. I'm not saying that we should be quick to abandon a relationship but if it's not working out...

Not in everything

Look, I believe in roles. When I'm married, I will make it clear that my wife is to obey me. It has nothing to do with superiority or inferiority, which is where I think the confusion comes in. Roles are the product of evolutionary adaptation in which men provided resources and the women nurtured offspring. It is more coherent for the wife to obey the husband because the man is ultimately in charge of security. Obeying him facilitates the efficiency in which he can provide the resources and security at an optimal level.

Yeah most of the time. Unless he's a creep and wants you to serve him dinner while crawling to him or something weird like that but for the most part I think men and women should respect each others wishes. BOTH WAYS, not just women toward their men

The only thing I obey is my thirst!

I'd love my husband to rule, but he's a soft-hearted man. That's why I have to make decisions, take all the responsibility and initiative (including intimate part of relations), which is pretty hard for potentially submissive woman as I am. Frankly speaking, I'd rather be a little beautiful toy in hands of a strong, decisive, dominating man, but dreams are dreams, and life is life.

no and he shouldn't obey you either, marriage should be an equal partnership.

Perhaps a good idea that a wife should.

... rule #1 ... never marry an a$$hole ... his orders will not be worth obeying. ... in my opinion, life is to be shared, not possessed ... so decision making and commands should be tasks that are also shared ... I do feel that both the husband and the wife should try to refrain from giving commands that are not important and asking politely instead ("will you please do this?" rather than "you must do this!"), but suddenly urgent commands should be given and obeyed without hesitation (like "get down" or "duck" or "brace yourself") ... ... as long as there is wisdom in the command and as long as there is both love and trust in the command given, then YES ... but do not obey a command just because the order came from a husband, it must be worth obeying ... and "command/obey" goes the other way too ... if the wife, in her wisdom, gives a valid command, the husband should obey ...

Of coarse you should, everyone knows that don't they. (rye smile).:-D

As much as he obeys you...

This ain't the dark ages! Marriages/relationships should be partnerships. I don't "obey" anyone!

Damn skippy. I am just kidding. I do believe in different but equally important roles, but nobody obeys anybody.

if he provides everything uh ya. if you both work, then no.

I personally could not marry a man I was not willing to obey. I think if we thought about this before marriage we would be much more careful about who we choose to marry. It sort of comes natural to most men to want to be dominant and in control. If they knew the well being of their wife, their marriage, and their family was dependent upon them carefully thinking through decisions, I think men would be less selfish and more giving. In other words I think it brings out the best in a man. I think it is sad that our society sees obedience to one's husband as a weakness and something to be ashamed of. I think it takes a far stronger woman to submit. It has nothing to do with intelligence. A smart, strong woman is not going to marry a man she can't trust to make decisions and who doesn't ask for her insights on issues. There is a shared responsibility to one another. I totally agree with all that Galeanda said in her answer.

The question is should you obey your husband. If your husband isn't contradicting what God says you should do then yes you should obey your husband just as your husband should put you and your needs above his in every way just as Christ put all of us above his own life. Just as your husband is responsible for what he commands you to do you are responsible for your commitment to obey God first, husband second. It all boils down to whether you are selfish or selfless. We are all called to lead selfless lives.

only as much as he obeys me and it's not like his word is law. i'll "listen to" him, but not become completely submissive. ultimately i'm gonna make up my own mind

I don't think I have been a situation that requires an obedience reaction and I have been married for years. We are equals and discuss things. We throw ideas around in the pot and sometimes his is better, sometimes mine. We reach an agreement and then act upon it.

i think that a guy that needs his wife to obey to his orders is uncapable of leading. Things gotta be decided together in a family and in a couple in some things one partner will take decisions and in other areas the other partner. in general i would say no or at least not more than the husband should obey the wife.

Hi Sweet T!! When I have one I will....And he's the only one I will "obey"

not if he is wrong. always do what you believe to be right.

I am one of the lucky ones, my husband doesn't tell me he asks me. And he very rarely does that. We are always thinking alike anyway. And he always thinks about my feelings first. He is a sweetheart!

In every relationship of any kind there is one dominant figure and one submissive figure; if it so happens that the man is calling the shots and the woman is following orders and they are both happy in that arrangement then props to that couple for finding a person they are compatible with.

Depends on what he's askin' yo...

Only if you want to.

Within these threads, there are references to Neanderthals. I didn't realize what I was until just that moment. I am THE neanderthal... I find myself at the unpopular end of many conversations on here. (but thankfully, no one treats me poorly) Home defense, for example: I sleep with the doors unlocked and an HK USP40 in battery, snugged away in a mattress holster... I don't lock the doors, because I don't want to have to drag a stiff out of my living room AND have to fix a broken lock. I spank the piss out of my children when they need it - and - expect them to call me "sir" when I am discussing their misdeed. I expect my wife to be obedient. She is a smart, accomplished woman who is scared of bugs, housefires and bad guys. I am equipped and able to deal with all three. Security is what makes me the Alpha in our family pack. Security is far more than just stomping bugs, and doing bad guys. The leadership I display at home, makes her feel that I can be a provider by taking my decisiveness to the workplace and excelling. My leadership is: Physical security, Financial security and Emotional security. My wife is not a pet, or a barnyard animal, she is a very intelligent, articulate, educated and successful woman who happens to appreciate these comforts that I provide. It’s not some kind of autocratic, authoritarian beating into submission, it’s a healthy, alpha driven pack… A family. Being obedient does not mean “without a voice”. Family decisions are discussed as a group, and I take the information and make the call. My leadership is the greatest gift I have to offer my family, for they live under the veil of its security and comfort. And my wife, in particular is woman enough to appreciate it. To be submissive, is actually to have control. I may call myself “the boss”, and I may make firm decisions – but it’s all for the fulfillment of my wife and children’s needs and dreams. If your husband is not a leader, then you don’t have to obey him. If you look around society, each and every person here knows a man who is nagged by his wife… I guarantee you it’s either because he is lazy, or will not make a decision. He is not keeping his wife satisfied with these things, so she nags. Leading is a lot of work, but without it, happiness is a whispy thin memory.

Y'all are idiots. James.... Stop talking like a genius because your logic is that of a cavemans, and you've proven that to be true with about the last half of your posts on here. There has been no backtracking on here. It's laughable that you are trying to say that in a lame attempt to discredit me somehow, when, anyone who reads this would see that's not the case. You didn't have the comprehension skills to understand what I was talking about, and made a horribly incorrect assumption about me based on my statement. Not my fault you aren't as intelligent as you try to sound on here.

Only if he tells you to buy anything you want.

Marriage needs to be an equal partnership, so you 'obey' him if he 'obey's' you!

1ST.off i will Not have a husband. a husband is to be the head of the house, but in a marriage i feel it is a 50-50 thing but he must respect his wife & her opinion, & both talk it out.

This discussion took a wrong turn somewhere! I would have never thought that this topic would spark such anger in so many people. I commented above but after thought I realize that I took it as a personal attack on women and should have taken a moment to cool down before answering. (Something everyone should have done) I feel that a women should obey her husband and the husband should obey his wife. Obey meaning, respecting honoring and remaining faithful to the one you love. These are the vows that I took when I stood at the front of the alter and married my husband. If this is what you meant when asking this question than YES you should obey your husband. If you meant obey, by submitting, being over powered and controlled then no I disagree. You should find a friend in your spouse. I was not born in a time where women are pulled by their hair to the cave. I deserve a equal partnership in the marriage. I hope to live in a time where everyone is treated equally no matter what sex, color, nationality they are or what their sexual preference may be. God made us all different but his intent was not to have us categorized.

I am not a big fan of the Obey your husband/wife thing, I think that there should be a mutual respect, and that there should be discussions on what you should do as a couple, whether it be when you have children, if they are planned, the budget or whatever.

Only if he is a good man. Too bad, there aren't many of them.

Not always. A man should be the head of the household IF he is a MAN, This doesn't mean he is the boss of me. I didn't apply for a job just applied for a marriage license. To be as one, not be #2. Not to walk behind, or ahead of, to silently walk beside of, and when the S/O walks on water it is due to the fact we were the rock that held them up! So no,I don't obey any man, I may choose to let him guide my way, if he is worthy of my trust.

No becasue I'm not gay and married.

I guess that depends on your beliefs. If you are strictly religious then yeah, I guess you must submit to your husband and do as he wishes, not talk in church, lower yourself to be beneath him and his demands. If you are feminist then no, you probably wouldn't If you are a normal person then you realize that in this day and age men's and women's roles are becoming more and more equal and in a relationship there has to be give and take, there has to be cooperation and there has to be compromise. In the end I thhink each individual person should in a relationship set those boundaries as to what they should and shouldn't "obey". outside of being faithful, being honest and being compassionate I think the rest is debatable

should you obey the law should you obey a teacher or principle should you obay your parents should you obey the police should you obey your boss at work should you obey a manager should you obey the rules of a game or just cheat should you obey your commands from a Sargent if in the military ( or is he weak and uncapble of leading) in a marage you both must give 100% stitistickly speaking most peaple will tell you, you do not need to obay your husbands stitistickly speaking most marriages will end in devorce ANSSER WIVES OBAY YOUR HUSBANDS GOD SAYS TO

What, obey this NOBODY has the right unless your a guardian, obey your husband or wife NO, RESPECT ALLWAYS

I think she should obey when it is appropriate.If he's telling her something for her own good then yea she should obey.

I wouldn't use the word "obey" in marriage, but a perfect wife should just respect and do what he really wishes! ^_- I'm about to get married though! 1 more month! wish me luck ^_^

to have a successful marriage you must have god in your relationship and obey him , wives god says to obey and to submit to your husbands honer him, respect him and lift him up. even if he is undeserving .this is not give and take it is give and give no mater what you get husbands god says you are to be servant leaders you are to honor your wife in everything you do love and care for her above yourself, self sacrifice ,she comes first this is not give and get ,it is give and give even if she is undeserving it is not a 50% 50% relationship it is a 100% 100% relationship and they are both equal. they are no longer BOTH they are ONE

If he asked me not to do something, I would consider it. If he ordered me to do something, like they say "it ain't never gonna happen" I don't take orders. If we are in disagreement about something, we discuss it. Then I make up my own mind.

obey the one who is right...person no matters...!!!

21st century America says the woman plays just as integral a role in the decision making, and, as you know, are considered equals, in the eyes of the law, and, more and more so, in relationship structure.

I do believe that when I get married I should obey my husband. I would not marry a man that I did not truly love or trust to lead me but I will obey my husband as that is a sign of respect and great dignity in a marriage. The term "obey" does not mean to me that we are not equals in intelligence. Save your downrates, what I eat does not make you fat.

Hey well im getting married next year and if he thinks im going to be his lap dog then he will get abit of a shock as may you cause now a days women do what they want when they want as do men Its 50/50. My ex used to tell me what i could wear where i could go what to drink when we was out and even who i could take to and i didnt do what he said well lets just say he was heavy on the hand it took the piss no he took the piss.And since then iv always said no man will ever tell me what to do or when to it. But please dont get me wrong i dont mean anything aganst you im just say.

I will listen to his advise - but I am still my own person. I will listen but it doesn't meen that I will obey him. I still am my own boss, but I will consider what he says and think it through.

The Holy Bible says for women to obey their husbands. It also says for men to love their wives as Christ loved the church. If a man treats his wife with the love of Christ she will gladly obey him. A Godly man would not be a task master either. He would listen to what his wife is saying. I see the man in my life like an umbrella, protecting me and the kids from the storms of life. I know that he has received God's wisdom to make decisions and yet he always asks my opinion. If I think his decision is wrong, and sometimes it is, he apologizes if/when he realizes it. Marriage is a partnership. I once read something about woman being made from mans rib. When they stand together, they are side by side, not one in front of the other. Also, the man is most times taller and his arm embraces the wife, not pushing her lower than him, just embracing her. There is more to that commentary but I can't recall right now. I hope this has helped you.

the definition of the word obey means 'To carry out or fulfill the command, order, or instruction of'. No relationship should be based on commands or instruction, its based on understanding, compromise and being considerate. obey is what an animal does. i think you need to build ur confidence and realise that ever human is an equal regardless of their sex, colour, status or background. by obeying someone you are saying you are not an equal.

it takes more confidence to obey your husband! and we all know we are equal that conversation is so yesterday.it takes strength to obey your husband and it makes him stronger too. the more you obey him the deeper he will love you,and the more he will desire to please you, if you think marriage is all understanding compromise and being considerate WAKE UP!! are you even married to those who are reading take advice from the happily married it dose not make sence to follow in the footsteps of the unmarried or the married 3 times over hello!!

HELL NO!!! This is the 21st century here!

LOL...touchy subject. Not necessarily "obey" him, but he is technically supposed to be the leader of the household. If all the husband has to do is throw commands at you and expect you to obey them, there is something wrong. So no.

LOL, NO! I do respect him though.

I think my wife should listen and give thoughtful consideration to my requests on important matters, and I should do the same for her. I don't expect her to obey me (honor my request without thinking or if she doesn't agree with it), because there have been quite a few times when I was wrong. BTW, I may have already answered this question, but there are so many answers and so many heated debates, that I got lost and too distracted to see if I had. :p

I think you both should respect each other and treat the other the way you would like to be treated. If you treat your spouse good, obedience would not be an issue because.

No way...I refused to have obey in my marriage vows (nearly 18 yrs and still going strong)

Only when he says ... "babey .. buy that Quarter Horse" :))

I love my wife and would never expect het to "obey" me. We have a relationship built on give and take. The day I tell her she must obey would be my last walking on the planet

yes, but it will only work if your husband loves you as Christ loved the Church.

no. and when i get married, that line will not be in our vows.

only as much as he obeys me

Sometimes, cause if you never obey their little egos gets hurt:}

My wife actually skipped that part of the vows during the ceremony!

To an extent, yes. I would obey almost anything he asks of me because I TRUST him not to ask anything unreasonable... Call me weird, but thats the way I am.

Obey us? You don't even listen to us... and then, when its the world cup final, in the last 5 minutes of play, you want to talk about the colour of dress a friend once had 9 years ago, and then complain that we never listen.

Not if he's willing to spank you, if you don't.

Every minute of every day............pmsl

Only if you're a complete idiot. Authority is BS.

That's a loaded question. LOL. I've never thought of it like that, but I think I do. Since he respects me too, it really hasn't been an issue in all these years of marriage -- 25 in January.

obey??? i dont think anyone should obey to anyone... however i feel that you need to respect... no one could tell me what to do....

Yes ! Do WHATEVER he says ! Great Question !

Honor your husband. My 2 cents.

Yes, but people take the word obey in a demeaning sense especially men wich is why most women refuse to do it ( and understandingly so! ). Personally the best term for the husbands role that I've heard is Servant Leader. If he is a real MAN, he'd be leading his household in a way that honors his wife so that she will be happy to FOLLOW his lead.

Only if he is willing to love you as Christ loved the church. Is he willing to die horribly for you? If so, then yes, you should submit to your husband.

I am my own person,just as he is own person. Is he obeying his vows? if, you are both on the same page until the marriage ends,there should not be a problem. I would not obey my husband if,he treats me as a slave. As a equal partner in the relationship you each give 100%. I would take it a step further , if he continued with this and got annoying....just remove the thorn that's stuck cross wise in his arse.

U HAVE SOME REALLY GOOD ANSWERS BUT LIKE ONE SAID OBEING IS FOR AN ANIMAL AND UR HUMMAN THERE IS NO SENSE IN ANOTHER HUMMAN BEING TREATED LIKE A DOG. U DESSERVE BETTER AND WHEN U DO DECIDE TO LEAVE MAKE SURE U LEAVE A LIST OF ADDOPT A DOG NUMBERS MY THE PHONE

You should honor and respect your hubby, just as you should be honored and respected. I will probably be DR'd for this, but I do believe that the man is head of the family and unless he's an idiot, yes. (I do believe in divorce in case of idiocy, though.) :D

Obey sounds like a dog. I think you should respect his wishes - BUT he should also respect yours.

Hell no. He should obey you :P

The word obey is the wrong term. you should resect your husband and in turn your husband should respect you. i think both parties have a role to play.

you were given a mind for a reason. If it was meant to be like it was in the past, where the husband basically owned the wife, then women would be born with no more will than a dog or cat. However, you should reasonable in considering his input; he should be reasonable in his expectations. and you both should have the best interest in mind at all times. If his request is degrading or exploitative in nature, there should be no hesitation in refusing it.

HAHAHAHHA

it should never come to having to obey, it should be about equality in a relationship and taking into consideration the other person's feelings before action is taken

I obey no one..no one rules me.