ANSWERS: 96
  • I think that is a very harsh punishment, one that I wouldn't use and I am a very tough mom.
  • I am horrified by that idea. I've only heard of it used in very extreme conditions as a form of torture. I just can't even imagine using it for the minor offenses you have described.
  • I think because a girl's self image is very important to her at that age, and because it takes so long for hair to grow back, it's a harsh punishment.
  • That to me is not punishment it's more akin to torture. Disfiguring someone in any way is torture even if it's something simple like hair cutting. It is traumatizing for someone. It's an ignorant thing to do. I believe in a little spank on the bottom but that is way out there.
  • As a first offense, I suppose. Second offense and up are mandatory amputation of a limb or two.
  • I was a little taken aback, but I can see that this might indeed be a good punishment. It's not violent, there is no lasting scar, but it sends a clear message. Kind of like when dad washed our mouths out with soap. He didn't need do it again. Also, being a teenager is about finding one's identity and breaking out. Cutting off the hair would be a blow to the self esteem, and reduce an over-inflated ego. Good luck on whatever you decide.
  • The punishment doesn't fit the crime here. Yes she needs incentive to bringing up her grades and a punishment for lying but that's not it.
  • If you're trying to make your daughter despise you, then I'd say that's the appropriate action. Otherwise, if you want to punish her, then no that's way too much. How about grounding her, or taking away her phone, or something of the sort.
  • The mere thought horrifies me. That was the first thing they used to do to break womens spirits in Prisoner of war camps. There are many other ways of punishment than torture iam sure.
  • In my opinion, that's cruel and unusual punishment.
  • Um, no, absolutely not.
  • By the teen years, your child is close enough to legal adulthood that you should not be touching her without her permission. What you would be doing in this case would be breaking the spirit without changing the will. Dr. James Dobson persuasively says we should do exactly the opposite--shape the will without breaking the spirit. I raised five children following his philosophy and they all grew up to be terrific people who are raising another generation of wonderful children. Instead of thinking "punish," think "These are the privileges for good grades. These are the privileges for being truthful. These are the privileges for keeping promises." Spell them out in advance so she knows that if she doesn't keep her part of the bargain, you won't be doing HER any favors. For instance, grades should be directly tied to internet access, truthfulness directly tied to permission to date, and anything you have promised her you aren't obligated to do until she does what she's promised first.
  • My daughter is 2 years old. I can't wait to use, or at least threaten, this one when the time comes. Thanks for the great idea!
  • I think the only thing that would accomplish is possibly causing a rift that may never be healed. Taking away privileges, taking cell phones, grounding, etc., are all devasting to a teenager, but they are also acceptable means of punishment and they get over it pretty easily. Never would I do something like cutting off their hair as a punishment.
  • What an awful thing to do to her. NO absolutely not. For poor grades perhaps sitting with her and helping her with her homework and seeing her teachers for some help and perhaps asking her what is going on? For lying, well we all have to accept the consequences for lying - like being found out and not exactly trusted anymore and not following through on promises - perhaps she has learnt that from someone? You? Perhaps she needs some guidance on what a promise is and what it can mean to make one and perhaps learn to think twice about making what she cannot or will not deliver. By the same token making her promise to do something that she perhaps cannot do or is not really willing to do is an almost guarantee that she will break the promise. Are things going well for her at school? Are their friend problems? Man/boy problems? Is someone causing her a problem that perhaps she can't talk about or is unwilling in case she won't be believed? There could be something really serious going on or it could be nothing more that being a teenager and having other things to think about. Patience is about all you can do and for many of us it runs thin ALOT of the time. Listen to her and sometimes it will be not what she has said but what bits she has left out that may provide a clue.
  • Absolutely not, she will hate you.
  • Thats just ridiculous! Are you actually serious?!
  • I think that qualifies as physicial injury and child abuse.
  • It is assault.
  • No it's not. That would be nothing more than a horrible and spiteful attack on her and it will only create upset and more issues.
  • Oh yes it is, but a most fun punishment. Shave it, shave it!
  • No. You do not own your child. You have more responsibility to her than she does to you. You need to accomodate, she does not.
  • Cut her hair? No, that makes no sense, it is not at all related to the circumstances. There should be loss of privilege of some kind like not allowing her to play video games or speak on the phone in the evenings.
  • You are insane for even thinking that is appropriate.
  • Ive never heard of such a thing. I think if my wife was considering such a thing as a punishment, the end result would be a huge fight. If you are SERIOUS about this and this is not some goofy question designed to get people all fired up... you'll want to find another way to punish. Taking privaleges works, hell... if she's old enough.. make her get a job... but the hair cutting thing will cause more probs and probably irreparable damage to your relationship with your child and family.
  • Ouch! Not recommended! It would be utterly painful for the teenager and may well inspire hatred of the parent. She'll never forget you did it and she'll make sure you never forget it either. And if it impels her to leave home you'll never forgive yourself. I agree wholeheartedly with Roger Kovaciny - positive reinforcement is the way to go - brilliant suggestions of strategies.
  • I would say no. The emotional damage caused would last far longer than a well-intending parent may realize. If you are referring to yourself, please consider other options. There are many ways to correct a child's behavior that wouldn't scar the child.
  • As others have said, to me it doesn't seem to serve a purpose or really teach a lesson regarding the actual infractions. If the problem were her hair, like she got bubble gum stuck in it all the time, or wasn't washing and brushing it regularly and it was a ratty mess, then it may be appropriate. That is not the case though. Grounding and/or loss of privileges is more appropriate. Set a rule that she has to study whatever subject she is doing poorly in for a certain amount of time each night or week, regardless if there is actual homework in the subject or not. If she really truly is trying in a subject, but not succeeding, then get her a tutor. For the lying and not following through on promises, not allowing her to go out with friends because you can't trust her seems more in line.
  • No! And I find it frankly disturbing and disgusting that this would even be considered. She's a person, not cattle.
  • No. That's fucking awful. And abusive. And pointless. And has nothing to do with any of those issues. It would make her hate you. Actually hate you. It sounds ridiculous, but my hair seriously does mean so much to me. I would never forgive whoever did that to me.
  • I cant believe you even asked this question! Are you her mother???
  • The punishment should always fit the crime, always! I can't think of a single naughty thing a child could do that would make hair cutting an appropriate punishment.
  • Punishment is supposed to teach, what you're suggesting is abuse!!! This would effect her self esteem which would only make matters worse, not to mention making her the brunt of jokes at school. You'd be sending her into a world of pain. Is that what you want?
  • Yes it is appropriate teach her a lesson
  • Hell yeah! "Natalie Portman" her ass!
  • cutting the teenage girl's hair short, is like taking away their life. (as a teenager would see it) i have long hair and if my mum cut mine i would be deveastated, especially when teenage girl's spend so much time and effort into styling their hair, just as they want it. if they lyed and have bad grades, you should sit down and talk, cutting your daughters hair will have no positive outcome, truth is, she will probably just resent you, & lie more. hair also reflects who a person (teenager) is. why would you want to cut her hair anyway? to humiliate her? a parenting wanting that should't really be a parent anyway. my point is dont cut her hair, talk things over with her and decide on a best punishment.
  • if your her mother you dont deserve to have children. that is abuse plain and simple.
  • Really? And what would they do if she failed? Get her circumsized?
  • i think its a stupid punishment to cut a girl's hair. number 1. it will grow back number 2. she'll hate you for a very long time number 3. you cant exactly MAKE a person cut their hair. i highly doubt you'll be able to strap her done to the chair and hold her perfectly still so the person cutting her hair can snip it off her head... and number 4. the punishment of cutting one's hair lasts waaaaaaay longer than a punishment for bad grades should last so all around - i think its a STUPID & bad idea to punish a person tht way.....
  • OMG we should all report you to child services you are awful and sick! how would you feel if your mom did that to you? you surely wouldnt listen you would be horrified and lose all respect you do that and you should lose your kids!
  • I'm a guy, but I know how important is hair for girls. It could traumatize her.
  • No, altering the person's body or physical appearance is abusive. If her hair is cut, it will take a long time to grow out and she'll look in the mirror with shame every day. I highly doubt that her misconduct is so bad as to deserve that. Why not ground her or take away her iPhone? Those punishments aren't permanent. Wanting to punish her by cutting her hair suggests that you are punishing her out of vengeance, not a genuine desire to discipline and help her learn to discern from right and wrong.
  • i would say grounded or sumthin.. but cutting the hair.. i mean if she really likes her hair as long as it is.. i mean its a harsh punishment. plus.. it would take a long time for her hair to grow again.. so.. no its VERY not appropriate.
  • no that is an absolute horrible way, unless you are aiming for your child to hate you. and not for just like a day. seriously hate you. that is actually the pretty worst way to discipline a child I have ever heard of, what happened to a good old fashioned ass whoopin?
  • Well, usually a parent will take away something that is "important" to the teen -- a privilege, a possession or something like that. I'd think that altering their physical appearance is rather personal, but I hesitate to judge the parent on that as I'm not privy to the whole situation. I, however, would never even have considered that as a punishment.
  • It will most likely give the girl mental issues and cause more problems. I could think of 10 other forms of discipline that might be more suitable.
  • Absolutely not!!!! Ground her, take away her cell phone, ban her from the computer, make her go to bed early, but don't you DARE TOUCH her hair!! As a teenage girl, hair is almost as important as air and water. I'm shocked someone would even ask this question. Just goes to show that adults DON'T always know best.
  • NO WAY IN HEL* !! That is cruel and unusual punishment and could even be considered ASSULT in some jurisdictions !!
  • She can bring up her grades. Help her with homework. Lying? all kids do it, take away something (not her hair) like the cell phone, computer, tv, hanging out with friends for a while. NOT her hair! Hair takes a long time to grow back, she'll probably be out of the punishment before her hair grows back to the length she liked it at.
  • I don't even think that makes sense. That doesn't seem like punishment, it seems cruel. She might not learn from a discipline like that so it would be pointless. Every parent has to deal with those things you mentioned. Take it with stride.
  • What?!?! That is ridiculous, absolutely not!
  • No.I don't think so.This is cruel and unusual punishment,and A form or mental/emotional abuse.This will probably only make the problem she is having with her behavior worse,too.*
  • GOD NO the person who told you that is mentally ill!! You can NOT take away her identity!! I think any one who uses that as a punishment should have their child taken away. Oh, and while your at it brand her with an iron? Wow, no wonder this world is so messed up. Raising children like this.
  • you are wrong
  • I know it's the not popular answer and I wouldn't do it to my daughter, but, her hair will grow back. I would need to know more about the situation to say a definate yes or no.
  • What were your grades like because your grammar and spelling leave a bit to be desired! How can you possibly think that cutting someones hair is appropriate in any circumstances if they haven't asked you to do so! As a teenager she should be beginning to take on responsibility for her own actions - the consequences of getting low grades are something she has to deal with and the best thing a loving parent can do is help her to understand her options! I am really quite disgusted by your suggestion!!!
  • wow messed up (NO)... unless she does want to...
  • What the hell, no freaking way...that is like 100% ABUSE. Thats horrible, that is worse than horrible...THAT IS DISGUSTING. No its not appropriate punishment...FOR ANYTHING.
  • Lady, you are freaking NUTS and you need reported to CPS. Who knows what other horrible things you do to your children! You should not have been able to have chiildren! I can't stand people like you that would do something like this to their child and think its ok!
  • I'm 13 and I have pixie hair. Not because of a punishment, but cuz I like it that way. i'm not a "bad girl" I have A's, b's and A+'s at school, I think I'm pretty polite, and i go to a good school. Short hair on a girl isn't bad!! Only if you have a daughter who loves her long hair would it count as a punishment, but make sure it looks good on he first ;)
  • That's a grievous assault on your daughter's person. Even though the law labels her "minor", she is still a sovereign individual and thus is entitled to basic human rights, such as control over her own body.
  • I agree with other comments and say it doesnt resolve the problem, just creates more. It seems more like revenge which is completely juvenile on terms of responsibility. I would feel so violated if my hair was cut when I woke up or whatever.
  • I think that it would be humiliating and abusive. You are a horrible excuse for a parent if you think it is ok to cut a teenage girl's hair short for ANY reason.
  • I'd report you to CPS.
  • i say thats a stupid punishment. take away plivliges, not pysical apperance.
  • I wouldn't say that it is appropriate punishment but neither is it abuse or assault. Where we get the idea that children have hair rights is beyond me.
  • Dude that's psychological abuse.
  • Oh my gosh that is not an appropriate punishment at all unless you want them to be made fun of at school and having them hate you forever then go on ahead and have them hate you and never talk to you agian!
  • I believe, legally, that is assault.
  • nonono that is just bullying! you should not punnish her for having slightly poorer grades than expected, some parents expect their kids to get top grades in everything which is near impossible, you cant be amazing at everything. You should ask her why she thinks she didnt achieve her desired grades and explain how to do better next time around.
  • No. It is a physical attack. No different than spanking, hitting, slapping, etc. It always seems to be a 'release' for the person 'teaching a lesson'!
  • No, humiliation is not an appropriate form of punishment under any circumstances..... especially not poor grades, she just might not be as bright as you think.
  • great idea
  • I wouldn't use that for punishment. If she is a social teen, grounding is good form of punishment. And when I say ground that means in the house, no phone, no TV, no computer. And if she has a cell phone, take that away permanently or for 6 months at least.
  • That is sick and twisted! Sounds like the family needs Dr. Phil and quick!
  • No not at all that isnt a punishment if i had one like that she would be grounded for two days cutting a girls hair short doesnt ddo anything
  • No that would be awful. That is way way way to harsh. That will humiliate her and that is not the way to go. That could easily ruin a teenage girl.
  • No. I'm sure you haven't shaved your head for bad behaivior by thinking cutting her hair is proper punishment. I'd definitly do that if I were you. NOW WOMAN
  • So because your kid messed up, you want to punish her every second of the day until her hair grows back. Why don't you just stick a sign on her that says she's a fuck up. What are you gonna do if she messes up after her hair is cut? Shave her head? Wear a potato sack to school? Wait, wasn't that a punishment in flowers in the attic? The grandma sticks them in a room and pours stuff in the girls hair so she has to cut it all off. At least the girl in the book didn't have public shame on top of it.
  • I just cut my 12 year old daughter waist length hair very short hair like a boy and I love my daughter very short hair
  • in some asian families they do that i know a girl who did gets that punishment.
  • nope its a rubbish punishment hair grows.
  • no, its child abuse. grounding is a better form of punishment. not that it really works. she might like her hair short and it would work against you...the parent.
  • No, why would anyone punish their child in that manner. There are many effective, appropriate ways to punish a kid
  • No... Thats controlling manipulative and I wouldn't think upon the parent as fulfilling their role as a parent if they were cruel enough to inflict this on their child. I think thats just fucked up.
  • If you were my mother and you did that to me I would hate you for the rest of my life. No that's not appropriate. Yes, what she is doing is bad but you need to find a way to punish her to get your point across so you don't look crazy and so she doesn't have a reason to call child services on you. Maybe a better option is to help her with her school work (talking to teachers, getting her a tutor, see if there's an underlying problem). DO NOT CUT HER HAIR.
  • Children lie to get their way, it will pass. And bad results aren't always the childs fault...by forcing her instead of helping out, you put her between a rock and a hard place. She will NOT remember all the good things you did for her; feeding, nursing, paying for everything... Children take those for granted. But she will remember this punishment her entire life, and pull that card when she needs to choose an elderly home for you, or has to choose between visiting you or watch a re-re-rerun of Friends. Even if you do this for her own good, to motivate her for school, it will surely backfire. (If that happened to me as a teenager, I'd drop out of school and leave my parents in a split second without ever looking back, and I'm a nice guy....) You are a safe haven for her, and she will feel betrayed and prolly never open up or trust you again. Chances are, you'll create a daughter who cannot love you, even if she wanted to. Even if you disagree with all of us, you've been warned :-| For all I care, go ahead; see if I give a shit.
  • Not at all, Mutilate their appearance, you might end up with a daughter that hates you forever using that one. Actually knowing what it was like being a teenager if my parents had done that, I still wouldn't talk to them.
  • NEVER.
  • no way. that is crazy
  • No. her hair is her hair.
  • No, that's just cruelty for cruelty sake. Sort your life out.
  • thats a vaery haesh punishment even for poor grades, thats not adviced unless u a child abuser
  • That is child abuse, you will permanently destroy your relationship with her, and by the sound of your emotional maturity, you would not care, I believe you getting even more motivated to pursue your devilish plot against your child, with more than her welfare in mind, but some selfish motivation. I honestly think you should see a shrink, you need counciling, not your daughter, I was a total slat at school and I finished too science degrees, I lecture for fun, and I'm a professional career woman. What you are plotting is enticing your own darker nature over your child that obviously is seeking your attention, I eventually divorced my parents because of insane behavior like yours.
  • This will get you nowhere. If you want her to hate you then why not just emotionaly abuse her? Cutting her hair short might humiliate her which does count as emotional abuse. If you continue with things like this it could lead to depression and many other problems not just through the teen years, but through adulthood, too.

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