My Granddad died yesterday. Is it ok that I don't want to go to the funeral? Or should I still go even though I really don't want to?
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ANSWERS: 19
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I think you should go, because you may regret it if you don't.....but its really up to you.
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It depends a little on why you don't want to go. My mom did not make me go to my grandfather's funeral because I hardly knew him. I accompanied her on the trip to the funeral, but hung out with my cousins all day. On the other hand, if I had not gone to the funeral for the grandfather I was close to, I would regret it still. I almost didn't go because I was afraid of crying too much and I had never seen my dad cry (it was his father this time). I cried a lot and I hardly knew how to handle seeing my dad cry, but I am still glad I went. I'm sorry you lost your grandfather. I hope this helps.
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I am so sorry for your loss. The decision to attend your grandfather's funeral is one best made by you and your family and it would be irresponsible of me to tell you what you SHOULD do. I think we'd all be better off if we put the word SHOULD to bed, and chose "could" instead. Could implies a choice, should implies an error. Without knowing your age, I cannot possibly impose what I think you might consider when making a decision when that decision may not be entirely up to you to make. Funerals are for families and friends to support each other in their time of grief, and you may want to consider the impact of your attendance on others as well as how you may come to regret not attending in the years coming. Once you decide to not go, you won't be able to unring that bell, so choose wisely.
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It's perfectly ok. Funerals have a purpose, which is to help those who need to grieve to start to grieve. They trigger tears. A good funeral celebrates the life just lived than the death just happened. No-one has to go. There is no duty. Grieve in your own way, or do not grieve at all. Your choice is fine
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i too am sorry for your loss. no one can tell you what to do. when my mother passed away i was not abel to get to the funeral. but i know she understood. she knew i loved her. but you do what you feel is best for you..
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I think you should go regardless. I don't know what your reasons are not to, but I think you should go anyway.
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If a good person dies, I'm not happy if only a few people turn up to the funeral. I go to funerals as a way of sending the message, "This guy is so good I'm going to his funeral! You better be there too dammit!" We all grieve in different ways but it is still better to go to the funeral, if at all possible.
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My paternal Granfather died when I was 10, and my family thought I was too young to go to his funeral, and I wasn't particularly close to him. My grandfather on my mother's side died when I was 17 and it was the first funeral I went to. I was completely overwhelmed by the experience. I wasn't expecting to cry the way i did, but it was really a celebration of his life. I felt happy that he had a good, long life, and sorry that my mother and her relatives had to experience that kind of grief. Funerals are not pleasant events, we all dread going to them, but it really is the best chance to be there to support your loved ones and to say goodbye to your grandfather. No one can force you to go, but death and sadness are parts of life that we all have to face up to eventually. I'm sorry for your loss, and I wish you the best.
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How close were you two? It does not matter. you need to attend for the sake of the family. If you do not attend, one day you will look back wish that you had.
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Sorry for your loss. If my grandfather died (long time ago) I would probably go to show my respect for him unless I found him to be a very despicable person (he'd have had to been REALLY bad). It's not a comfortable environment but your presence may make it easier to bear for other family members who are hurting. If he was a good man (even if we disagreed deeply on many issues) I would go.
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I think you should go. It is part of life, and it is respectful. No one likes them, but you go to show you loved the person. It is okay to cry. It is ok to grieve. Be their for your parent who lost his parent. One day you will want your kids to stand beside you when you bury your parents.
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Im so sorrry to hear about oyour grandad. Truthfully go to the funeral, you will regret in later yers, i was serving in Iraq last year when my grandmother past away due to the Army i was unable to get back for her funeral! I have to live with that everyday. You have the oportunity to attend your grandads funeral, your mum or dad needs your support, if i were you i would attend its noit nice thing but the least you can do is give supprot to your Mum or Dad and pay last respects to your grandad. Im sorry to hear about your grandad i hope this will help you.
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I am so sorry about your Granddad. Most people feel the need to go for closure...one final good bye. It's fine that you don't want to go but it's also a good idea to show support to those who are there. They might need a shoulder to cry on and you may need the same. Tears are important, they release tension and anxiety. Sometimes you need to feel it to heal it. Ignoring grief won't make it go away. You never get over grief you learn to live with it. Again I am so sorry for your loss.
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I'm sorry to hear about your loss. It is ok if you do not want to go to the funeral. It is even ok if you don't go. I, too, prefer not to go to funerals. I prefer to remember people as they were when they were alive. You need to carefully consider why you don't want to go, and make your own decision based upon how you feel. How do you feel about being there to support others? How do you feel about not being there to support others? How will you feel about your decision 10 years down the road? Do you need the ritual and rites to help you deal with the passing of your loved one? What will be the family fall out if you do not go? Are you ok with that?
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First, let me say how very sorry I am for your loss. You don't say if you two were close or not. I think that is the main key. If you were close, and you really loved him, I think it would be best to go. You don't have to sit with the family, or even up front. But, I think it would really help whichever of YOUR parents Dad it was. You would be going as a support to your parent, and I'm pretty sure that they would appreciate it. Second, even if you two were not close, and you did NOT love him, I do think you could regret it later, (as several others have said). I only knew one of my Grandpa's, and I went to his funeral because I loved him. But, it ended up that I had to help with my Grandma and my Mom, because they both totally fell apart. I was so glad that I was there for them.
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If you don't want to go because you weren't close to your Granddad then that's OK. I'm 61, I've only been to one funeral, and that was for a friend. If you were close to him why don't you want to go?
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I don't think I've ever known anyone who "wants" to go to the funerals of those they love. It is sad to part. When I was 16 I told my grandfather that I wasn't going to go to my own funeral, much less anyone else's, including his. He stopped eating his ice cream to reflect for a moment, a slow grin appeared and he responded that if I knew a way to avoid my own funeral I should let him know as he was probably a lot closer to the grave than I was. I was stunned for a moment and then we both burst out laughing. He passed away a few years later, and I flew cross country to be there for his funeral. It was not a fun experience and there were lots of tears, but I'm glad I went. My younger brother did not attend. He just couldn't do it. It's a personal choice and each person's choice needs to be respected. We all have our own way of saying goodbye to the ones we love. You will find your way. I am sorry for your loss and wish you the best.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Usually people at funerals don't go to cry over the lost one, they go to show their respect for him, and share the good things of his life with each other. I got a lot of comfort from the funerals I have gone to. I hope that doesn't sound selfish. Your show of respect for those who are left will go a lot further than you can imagine.
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I'm very sorry about your grandfather. Everyone grieves in their own way- it is not mandatory that anyone attend the funeral, for everyone needs to feel this pain, and deal with it individually and how it works best for each person. Good luck, and take care.
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