• Let him bring it up, don't pressure him. Sometimes it's best just to let the past stay buried.
  • Nobody likes to be therapized without their permission. Leave it alone, do your best to be yourself and be available. It's his job to sort out his past, and you may or may not be a big part of that process.
  • go to him hug and kiss him make him feel comfortable and say i love you so let me help you
  • Again, you're his girlfriend, not his therapist. Lots of people get very morose and sad when they drink. It's not your job to fix it. Perhaps it would be better if he didn't drink? Or for you to only be around him when he's sober? Just thoughts.
  • While talking about this might help him eventually, you should not tear down walls he's not ready to knock down himself. Those walls were built for a reason. If you take them down before he does, he'll feel vulnerable and more than likely resent you for it. Let him deal with his walls in his own time. Be supportive and ready to listen when he does decide it's time to start chipping away at the bricks. Don't expect a demolition, though. It will probably be one brick at a time.
  • Who are you to think you can solve any problems that you think he has? Maybe he's fine with his past, who are you to say differently?
  • What you really want is a deep intimacy in the present, in his presence, your presence. Feel it, breathe it, open yourself to this presence.Your love untethered to any objective or outcome, will blow you away. Be prepared to lose yourself in this love, for it is so much bigger than the container you describe. The best to you both.
  • Don't snoop!
  • Men and women communicate differently and sooner or later you need to accept that or look for a female as a partner.

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