ANSWERS: 21
  • she paid for it with her own money, and when i asked her what is that on her face she said that it was her christmas present. i said from who and she was like me, i paid for it myself. i feel bad because i don't have enough money to get her a lot of stuff for christmas. but what do you think i should do? should i let her keep the piercings or make her take them out and close up?
  • That's a toughie, she did pay for it herself but then again she is 14 and it's your rules. If you make her take them out that (I'm sure) will cause a big fight but if all in all your ok with it and could live with it then maybe you should let her keep them in.
  • well.. i dont think that the fact that u dont have enough money to get her a lot of things for christmas have anything to do with this.. im sure you are giving her another things that are worth more than gifts :) but about the piercings i think you should let her keep them.. i got my nose piercings.. and that doesnt mean that im a bad person or that im doing something wrong.. is just that i like it.. so just let her keep them.. because when u prohibite something to someone that would just worsen the situation.. For example my mom trust me lots, and she's always letting me do what i want to do.. thats because she knows she can trust me, and she knows im responsible, and wont do anything that can let me down! well i hope my answer help u!!
  • Do you know who gave her permission to get it done. Since she is 14 she had to have permission. find out who did it and make her take it out and tell her thet it is her fault if it gets infected b/c you told her no
  • Isnt it illegal for a shop to pierce a girl of that age without consent,i would find out which shop and create merry hell with them.
  • My mother was entirely against piercings until I hit about 15, at which point she allowed my little sister to get a piercing (she's 16 now with 21). At first, she was upset, but she realized that it was just acting out. I eventually grew out of mine (aside from my lip piercing), but my sister still has hers. Your daughter may just grow out of them, and if she doesn't, then it's just who she is! Making her take them out with just cause a huge argument, and she'll probably go out and do something worse. Just make it clear that if she does it again, you'll take them out and take away something else she really cares about.
  • I know it's rather early, but what are her plans for the future? Does she have a particular interest in a career? There are many employers who will not hire someone with visible piercings because most customers do not view it as a positive image. Instead of just saying no and getting upset, perhaps you can show her how that choice can affect her future. Take her to local businesses and ask how her appearance would affect a job interview. She just might decide that the piercings are not worth it.
  • It is illegal in most places to pierce anyone under the age of 18 without parental consent.
  • She should definitely be made to remove them. The fact that you had laid the line down about the piercing means that she is giving a serious challenge to what she thinks of your authority. Even for a teenager, this should not be tolerated because it would only escalate to more serious things like, cigs or alcohol. However, she did spend her money on it as a self-given present, and it does seem a bit mean to make her waste her money. The place that pierced her ear did so illegally unless they got permission from a parent, not some other 18-year-old. So go to them to get a refund, when they fin out that you're angry, they should be perfectly willing to refund a few bucks in order to avoid a lawsuit. Though quite frankly I wouldn't blame you if you filed suit anyway. That would REALLY let your daughter know that you mean business.
  • She used her own money. As a libertarian and supporter of the free market, I can't condemn her.
  • First, do not ever feel guilty about what you can afford to provide you child with! Second, you should not make her take them out unless they interfere with school or other activities. She may just want to express herself, and chose this way to do it. Some people never "grow out of it." I had my belly button done at 18 and still have it, as well as 3 holes in each ear. My boyfriend has his labret pierced and 2 earrings in each ear. Some people just like piercings.
  • Seriously the best you can do is to let her do it. The more you push and forbid, the more she will want to go against your wishes. Piercings aren't that big of a deal. She will probably decide later to get rid of them, anyway. And, even if she doesn't decide to do that, so what, you know? Unfortunately (and most parents don't realize this) it's very easy for a child to start to literally hate their parents. And, when they start to hate their parents that feeling usually just snowballs. Parents need to pick their battles and allow their children to have some freedom.
  • Then she has wasted her money as you said no. She jumped the gun. It's your call. I would have her take them out since YOU are responsible for her well-being and health and it could fall on you if anything were to happen from infections or worse. She can just wait until she is on her own to do to her body what she wants.
  • Call me old-fashioned, call me tough... but as far as I'm aware, "No" still means "NO". Too bad, she wasted her OWN money, and I would have her remove the piercings. She also went behind your back and likely conned a friend's parent into signing permission for her to have it done. This is inexcusable. I do not like deception. Sure, she'll be pissed, but she'll get over it. She is 14, STILL a child, and still must follow your rules. Now, when she has her own house and her own rules (or at least is paying you rent if she's not moved out) and she wants a face full of silverware, that's her own prerogative.
  • ok so lets think about this for a moment... . sure, she went against your will . but have you ever heard the phrase "pick your battles?" . shes just getting piercings. . at least its not permanent . if this is her biggest form of rebellion just count yourself lucky . it could be that shes only doing it because she knows it will piss you off. . so if you act indifferent towards it, she may just lose interest in them eventually.
  • 1st of all make it clear that you are the boss! 2nd go to wherever she got pierced and tell them that you want a refund, shes only 14 and in most states it is against the law to pierce(even ears) without parental permission(Wisconsin the only thing a person under 18 can get pierced is ears, permission from parents don't count in Wi, its just against the law). If they refuse to give the money back tell them you will report this to the police(most tattoo/piercers don't want a police visit). When you get the kids money back, put it away for something more appropriate.
  • ya..theyre suppose to have a parent consent or wutever. u should definitely raise a problem with the shop....u should also make her tale her pierceings out.thats not ok...i would have her immediately remove it
  • your daughter will most likely rebel worse if you take them away. 14 is a tough age and they are easily influenced by friends and fads. Make sure she knows how pissed off you are about it but give her some freedom and I bet she will grow out of it. She will also most likely respect you more because she will feel that you understand her better. At 14, the stupidest things to us are major deals in thier lives. It's just a couple of piercings. It could be something way worse ;)
  • I would say let her keep it because she paid for it herself,and since you dont have that much mony for x-mas then say she has to work harder on her chores to keep it and if she dosnt tell her your going to rip it out of her face.:) Chances are shes going to have a really cool friend to tell her to take it out...
  • Here in NC you CANNOT get tattoos or piercings without a birth certificate and at least one parent with you. When I was 16 my mom went with me when I got my tongue and lip pierced. You need to contact the store where she got pierced,and threaten to sue them.
  • In short, it's your house, your rules..make her take the stuff out! Myself I have nothing against tattoos or piercings, I have plenty myself, but I think those are things an adult should decide to do and not a 14 yr old kid, especially if you are not ok with them.

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