In my school, I am labled the "quiet girl" and "over-achiever," and many of my classmates ignore me and avoid talking to me. And although I have tried to attempt conversation with them, they push me away. Is there any advice? Thanks!
by 
sassi_cowgurl
ANSWERS: 42
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Relax. You'll be able to buy and sell them...AND their husbands in a few years. Don't give it another thought.
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You should never worry about anyone that didn't WANT to be your friend. It isn't a friend you would be gaining with them just ignore their jealousy.
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Everyone is given a label, and generally it's not very fair (or doesn't even begin to represent the complexity of 'you'), but I could think of worse labels. I'm sure you'll make friends, you just have to find the right ones. I say keep talking to be people and keep approaching them. They may be off-put by your smarts, but once they see that you're friendly and kind, they'll warm up to you. The one thing that I would advise you not to do is try to be something you're not just to blend in. Just keep being you.
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Maybe you're trying with the wrong "crowd". Keep trying, you'll find someone you have something in common with, who's probably looking for you!
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Most likely you wont see them in the future and if they dont want to be your friend then its their lost. I would suggest keep saying hi to them and dont let them make you feel bad. Always be yourself and sooner or later you will find very very good friends. Things happend for a reason and maybe they are not the right people to be friends with.. GOod luckkk
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I was the "quiet boy" and "under achiever" and I'm an only child, but I kept on trucking. Stop trying so hard to make friends. Sooner or later it will all come together. I know it sucks just waiting for it to happen, but please have patience.
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Don't worry about any of that. There's a good chance that some of them will be the ones asking you to hire them one day. SUCCESS IS THE SWEETEST REVENGE .
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People are jealous of you. They wish they could be like you but think they can't so they lash out at someone who is different than them. When I first started HS about 30 years ago I was picked on by many of the kids because I was the smart one the respectful one the one the teachers always went out of their way to help in anyway they could. Many people picked on me because I didn't have alot of friends . I had 1 male friend that everyone assumed was gay because of how he dressed and acted. I also had a few close female friends so because most of the time they saw me sitting wioth these girls the assumed I was gay or a weirdo cause I never hung out with guys. I dsidn't let their opinions bother me at all. I knew who I was and did not go out of my way to impress anyone. My attitude was you either like me for who I am or you aren't worth being my friend. I have kept that attitude to this day. Just be yourself those who can't handle it are not worth your time and those who can will go out of their way to be a good friend to you. Good luck
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People are jealous of you. They wish they could be like you but think they can't so they lash out at someone who is different than them. When I first started HS about 30 years ago I was picked on by many of the kids because I was the smart one the respectful one the one the teachers always went out of their way to help in anyway they could. Many people picked on me because I didn't have alot of friends . I had 1 male friend that everyone assumed was gay because of how he dressed and acted. I also had a few close female friends so because most of the time they saw me sitting wioth these girls the assumed I was gay or a weirdo cause I never hung out with guys. I dsidn't let their opinions bother me at all. I knew who I was and did not go out of my way to impress anyone. My attitude was you either like me for who I am or you aren't worth being my friend. I have kept that attitude to this day. Just be yourself those who can't handle it are not worth your time and those who can will go out of their way to be a good friend to you. Good luck
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dont be satisfied with them pushing you away. they have no reason i am sure. high school is like that. by the end of it you will find someone who will be brave enough to open up to you and let you into their group. i changed high schools midway through my junior year... the best advice is to get active in school activities and let people know that you wan tot talk. eventually they will open up... within six months i had found a group of friends that are still close to me three years and 500 miles later. and if it doesnt work in hs, at least you can look forward to college... where cliques dont matter and the popular girls are just another face in the crowd.
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Just keep a couple of things in mind.....Bill Gates was 'the quiet one', 'the nerd', from what I read he wasn't particularly popular in school. Look at him now! Also, you only need 1 friend...not a horde of so-called ones. Find on person who likes the same things you do...who is also fairly reserved...and nurture that friendship. t's likely to last forever. Those other guys? Fly-by-night relationships..superficial. You are better than that. Be fussy about who you want in your life...be picky. Focus on what is real in your life.....it isn't a competition.
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Cast not thy pearls before the swine.... Thats the prescription, now here's the cure - find somewhere outside of school where your kind of people hang out. I always think that school is way over-rated as a social venue,,,,rather like prison really.... I hope your sense of lonliness passes soon - I too was a 'misfit' in my schooldays. The old bloody advice of 'try to fit in', 'join a club', 'be more assertive', 'be the first to start a conversation'. 'ask open-ended questions' blah blah blah blah....let me put it this way, I now realise there are only two types of students. Those who will have a life AFTER school is long past and those who will never grow out of it... You are NOT alone and I wish you well and the patience to get through the artificiality you are sensible enough not to 'buy in to'
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One thing to keep in mind is that it is not your responsibility to make people like you. I’ve read a few of your post and you sound like a really nice person. There is nothing wrong with you…they are the ones who are missing out; they are the ones who need to change. Because of their stuck-up, un-accepting attitudes they are missing out on an opportunity to get to know a nice person. I assume you are in high school, right? When you go to college, it will be much different (especially in the difficult classes). In college, most people want to be there and are serious about their studies. The further you go in you education, the more likely you are to encounter other people who respect/like the fact that you are studious.
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Sorry to hear that you're being ignored and being avoided. This is such a crucial time in your life. These experiences are what molds the adult you're going to become. There are people out there who will like you for YOU. You just have to find them. Don't try too hard though. Just let it happen naturally. There are alot of egotistical, maniacal idiots out there. Try hard to not let them severly affect you. I hope you find some..............true friends :)
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That is really difficult. I had a difficult time too. Middle school was the worst, high school was a little better and college was great. So, as others have said, it will get better. One thing I did, was that in high school, I ended up making a lot of friends from a different high school. They didn't know me and know my "lables", so they didn't have an preconceived notions about me. I had a lot of friends in high school, just not at my high school. The most important thing to remember is to be yourself and be true to yourself. Do what you enjoy doing. Get involved in activities that you enjoy. You may make friends because of shared interests, but even if you don't you will be doing something you like and you may learn something too.
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Your classmates are just jealous because their not in your league. The good thing about it is that they are not real friends and not worthy of your company. Just remember that one day you will be very successful.
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Being a quiet girl to them, makes them feel like it'll be hard to get a conversation out of you. Even if you tried talking to them first. BEing the over achiever they may feel like they are not good enough for you because your SUPER SMART. Some people are just ignorant. Just keep trying to be friendly and talk to them and just try adn work on not comming across as the quiet, but super intelligent girl.
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lok at it this way if you are never anything in school just remember afetr u graduate and all u mak ur own lif and by the time ur 25 ul probablly never see them again plus they havennt met you well wnough to know wat theyr missin
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the best advice i can give u sweetheart is to be yourself and be proud of who you are. last time i checked being quiet wasn't illegal and over-achieving wasn't wrong. if that's who you are never change for the appeasement of others. God made you the way you are for a reason. though you may not know it now He will reveal it in a wonderful way in the near future.
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It's quite a trick to be the quiet girl and the over achiever but still be popular. But, it's not an impossible one. Use your strengths. Get them interested in schoolwork and help them. I'm sure many would ask if they knew you were available to help. Become the cool, smart girl who helps out when needed.
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Try not to worry to much about them, they don't know what they are missing. Most of them are to shallow to be around someone who is different from them. I dealt with that alot in school but I did find a couple friends in high school mostly from other schools. Most of the friends I had were outside of school & 10-1 I valued their friendships better. Your only in school a few years but you'll have the rest of your life to be with the friends you make outside of school. To be honest with you I don't think your missing much by not being with them. If you have 1 good friend then you are rich. The rest usually just want to use you for an advantage anyway, not worth it because when they get in trouble its you they will try to pin the blame on. Good luck hon & don't worry you've still got all of us & we love you just the way you are.
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you dont need to be popular if someone "pushes you aside" they are just ignorant for not giving u a chance
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I wish that that was my label in high school, its sooo overrated and popularity doesn't matter, stick to your best friends and don't change to get attention. I know it sucks that your expected to be like "everyone else" when your trying to figure out just who you are so be weird be out of the box and enjoy life how YOU want to live it high school will be over soon enough!
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Based on your question and reasoning behind it alone, I think that you aren't doing anything wrong. Based on what I know about you, if you were in my class, I would definitely talk to you! It is them that has the problem. Not you. You don't live to please them, so don't bother living up to their expectations. Be yourself. It will help you do better in school anyway, because you will have more time to focus! One day, there is a high chance that you may be their boss. Or, they may be the people you will see bagging your groceries when you have a high paying job. They will be sorry they didn't give you a chance, regardless. At least, I hope they will be. :)
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Try to remember that you will be the one with the good job in the end.
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That what I was labled. REally I am a fairly outgoing person and loud, but at school I was not. I felt hurt at first when no one cared to talk to me, but I soon got over it. I told myself that if they thought that they were too good to talk to me then so be it. I told my self they were just jealous of me. I ended up finding some friends and not caring what other people thought about me. The key is not caring. If I were you, I would be nice to them, but you don't have to be best buds. Kill them with kindness. It doesn't hurt anything.
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girl, i fell your pain! It's hard being an over achiever and still having friends. They think youre too smart and too busy doing extra credit or extra school work or helping out the community to hang out. trust me. I went from like 10 friends last year to 2 this year, and one thinks i NEVER have time to hang out! It's okay to overachieve, but you gotta open your mouth to be able to do anything! :)
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that sounds a lot like me. but what i do is just tell them if u ever need help w/ ur homework, i can help u...and then when they do, if u help them, they will start to like u a lot more, and that's how i met my first friends... and then i ended up being invited to sit with them at lunch, and that kind of stuff.
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These people probably just feel abit inimidated by you. or maybe they think that youre boring :/ I dont know, but in general if you want friends - honesty, carisma and self esteem will help you! Think about who youre trying to talk to? what are you talking about? If they are 'cool' kids or 'popular' and you start talking about something academic it might make the situation awkward. To be good friends with people, you need to find friends who have something in common. Maybe you should try be abit more laid back, be yourself its all you can d at the end of the day - let people like you for who you are rather than pretend to be something your not, if these people were to realise you were 'fake' by being something youre not then things would be made worse. People need to get to know you better, to give you a chance with their trust, so give people that chance by being outgoing and make more of an effort. you'll be fine.
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walk with your own crowd they will soon join
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What ever is an over-achiever? Another daft invention from someone who wants to make a name for themselves as a writer? I was quiet at school - but not shy - I was good at everything, especially maths. I didn't have any difficulties in making the friends I wanted and I loved school. But then I live in England. Life sounds unpleasant for you and what I read suggests that many people in the USA (where I suspect you live) spend their time trying to ruin othe people's lives and happiness. It doesn't help you now - I doubt if anyone can do that - but when you are grown-up, people will like you for being clever and not despise you.
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Well from what I seen you've written, you seem like a smart women. Just think long term gain. Boys might not want to talk to you. But just wait till your their boss.
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if you can not strik a convesation with a kid then try to talk to a grown up or teacher wihle other kids are around if you can not a conversation about school try to kid around tyr not to show that you are good in school.
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while it doesnt matter what people think, you may decide to try to do something ballsy. walk down the hall singing something really loudly or bring something silly to school with you, or do a rediculous dance. while at first you may not know what to expect you'll find that people admire randomness and courage.
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Stay positive. I was that girl. Also, 50 years or so ago, Bill Gates was also in your position. Who needs a social life when you can be a billionaire in a few decades and have everyone who ignored you be kicking themselves for being douchebags?
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Show them your side they have never seen.
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They're probably just jealous! You are the intelligent one and you will go much farther than all of them! It may be crap now but you wait! Don't change alright? Stay smart!
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I am jealous, I was the party girl!!! I wish I had been more studious in school. They are jealous too. YOu keep on the track you're on, get a scholarship, go to college, then I bet they are gonna wanna talk to you!!! You go girl!!!!
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Well i am that way in class too and its my senior year. so dont feel bad. I also find thAT maybe its not that im not outgoing or that maybe your not. towards people that is...but maybe like american idle said you just open up around certain people you feel safe around. maybe your not opening up because subconsciously you know that the people in your classes around you will use everything thats good about you against you. some people arent worth your time. Dosent mean you are better ;no one is better than one another or more important. but maybe it just mean you know or think better. goal wise and moral wise. TOday you might be lonely but i know that in the future you will have some good friends. Just mAKE sure you know who your good friends are and who your good friends arent. sincerely, cecily
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your going to be the one avoiding them when your a doctor making 100,000 thousand a year and their out making a living working at taco bell. You have to be confident. If you act like their not important, they wont avoid you. There is nothing wrong with being quite. Its better than getting pregnant at 16. Your on the right track, trust me
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Go play with the social misfits, they'll welcome you in(in their own way). And there you can be their queen!
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They are probably jealous of you because you're so smart and they subconsciously worry that you'll be more successful than them. If you're courteous and friendly, then there's not much else you can do to gain their friendship. You can't control how people respond to you, but you can try to meet people who'll be more receptive (such as misfits and even people from other schools, if you attend youth group or play in a recreational sports league). If you still haven't found any kindred spirits, then try to enjoy your own company. I was like you as a kid, so I found that daydreaming and journaling were good outlets (and I didn't need to be with someone else to enjoy them). I also made friends with adults who could be my mentors, because I was on a different wavelength than my peers. When I got to college, I wasn't so lonely because it offered a bigger pool of potential friends, and I found people I could relate to. Maybe the same will happen for you.
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