ANSWERS: 100
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I believe that the body self cleans after several weeks of not washing.
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I never knew that women could grow facial hair. Just something I noticed, in spite of the massive body odor that practically blinded me.
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I'll try not to be as violent as I was on my last first date.
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Sorry about the odor. I only bathe my crouch on special occasions, like when I'm not out with a fat, disgusting, troll, even though I could be out with the boys over at the annual "Men That Love Date Rate" support group meeting, or surfing the net for impressionable teenage girls with low self esteem, whilst I catch my 2 week old puppy on fire, and write bad checks to "Jerry's Kids" in order get their hopes up for nothing. So, where you want to eat?
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should we just skip the movie and dinner, and go to a motel?
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Uh..yeah...I'll take a Quarter Pounder w/cheese..fries...and..
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"I can't see myself going on any more dates with you"
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So, I booked a church for next Sunday- My aunt Suzie is coming in from Philly, as well as the rest of my family. Don't forget to invite your family to our big day! I picked out everything we'll wear, and what our bridal party will wear. Now, I was thinking our first born will be named Charles if it's a boy, after my father, and Sonia if it's a girl after my grandmother...
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What do you think we should name our children?
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so, how big is it?
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I'm sorry, I thought I was supposed to be dating a GUY!
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I love you and it's fate that we are together.
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Do you mind if I do a quick line?
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I hope we can see each other again in spite of the fact that I am wanted in 4 different states for stalking ex girlfriends
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Your breath stinks.
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Call him/her by the wrong first name, particularly if it is an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend's name.
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I hope you're better in bed than your baby sister was.
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What is your yearly salary?
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Hey didn't I see you on the Springer show.
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"I believe brushing teeth is unnatural and goes against God's will." "Ignore the mess in my house... my last date didn't cooperate. Oh, and don't open the fridge, will you?"
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maybe we could do this again tomorrow, except you'll be the receiver this time
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I hope you don't mind double-dating with my wife and her date. I'm divorced so I wouldn't actually say this unless my ex-wife were to go on a double-date with me which is highly unlikely!
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Don't pay any attention to my scratching. These herpes blisters really itch sometimes.
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Hmmm, I should've charged my friend $50 to go out with you so she wouldn't have to...
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Guy: Here, I ordered you a glass of wine, i hope you like red. Girl: Oh, you're so sweet but I just went to the doctor's and i kept having problems...down below...if you get what i mean. And so i was like whats going on! Why is it so painful to pee! I thought i had an std, like herpes of something...And then i realized i had a uti! But don't worry it's not contagious:)
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the wrong name
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wHEN DO WE START?
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lET'S HAVE SEX ALREADY!
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Excuse me. you're sitting in the seat of my date, who is good looking and has her own teeth...
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Well, this has been a huge waste of time. --- You know, you remind me of my mother- before she had the face lift. --- If anyone had told me a week ago that I would go on a date with you, I would have laughed my ass off. Well, I guess I'm not the one laughing now! --- Just out of curiosity, if I had a, well, kind of a little criminal record for maybe a murder or something, and if in theory I was maybe accidentally released while impersonating another inmate, would that bother you? --- Can I sniff your underwear?
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Are you going to go down on me or what? I don't care what your name is, just do it.
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"I think you're my soul mate"... I had a guy say that to me once just after I met him -- and he was very serious!
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*For a guy* *before you leave, to the father* Don't worry, my intentions are the same as yours were on your first date.
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OMG I love this place I used to come here with my parole officer!
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"you is one fine bitch...now give me some lovins."
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I know I am missing some of my teeth but that just leaves more room for your Tongue;)
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You remind me of my dead ex girlfriend... but don't worry I was acquitted!
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My therapist said that this might be too early in my recovery program...
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If gestures count, just unzip and point. You can SAY things without words ;)
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Do you spit or swallow? I gotta know. that or Hey have you ever crapped on somebody for fun?
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In a FIRST date...I can't wait to do sex with you
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I love you
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we are going Dutch, right?
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my GOD!! your HIDEOUS!
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Lean over and whisper in her ear, "I wanna put my thingy in your thingy. Is that alright?"
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"dont tell anyone...IM A WOMAN! Lets have sex"
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Don't worry that car following us is my wife's hitman he couldn't hit the side of a barn
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Well I'm gonna go use the crapper. You got the check, right?
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excuse me my ex girlfirend is calling
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i thought u were dressing up nice and i thought you were geting rid of the collor and flees
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You eat like a pig.
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Are you HIV positive, or do you have any venereal disease?
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i know you like me... so lets just skip dinner and fuck...
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1. You looked thinner when I first met you 2. Can I borrow some money for (some lame reason) 3. Have you ever had a three-some 4. She's hot (pointing to the waitress)
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I got $30, you wanna eat something or get a hotel room for an hour?
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"You sure don't sweat much for a fat chick."
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"You have the face of a ruptured custard, my dear."
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Are those real?
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GOt milk?
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we will split the bill or do you mind paying?? you remind me of my mother
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i was a women
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Did you see where I left my rash ointment?
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so when will you massage my feet
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When you first sit down at the table and someone gives you your menus, just casually say, "I personally like fall weddings. What about you?" They'll be kind of freaked out but will probably answer anyway. Then say, "Okay. That's how I feel too. I already called the wedding planner. We're set for October!"
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Where do you want to go?
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Damn I must have been real drunk!
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What was your name again?
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"My genital herpes are under control." <wink>
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one of the worst would be like u walkig up to him and him saying to his frens lets have a meeting and just leave u standing there for a while.
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wow what a nice rack! and a big crack!! hey so whats ur sister like in bed?
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Do you have $20 because I'm not sure I'll have enough to cover the date.
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Your husband sent me...
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I'm a democrat
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talk about his ex
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quick,aftr you date i will go to my boyfriend for high
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What does it have to take for me to sleep with you?
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With a little work, you'd be good lookin'.
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"That looks so painful".
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Hey baby ,do you think you can squeeze that big ass of on the back of my bicyle . I plan to get a car if I ever find a job.
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talking about other girls he has dated, and won't shut-up about them. i had that happen before.
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"Sorry, I don't kiss on the first date". Whereby she might say..."Well, how 'bout the last?" :-)
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"You'd be pretty IF you wore better clothes, more makeup and had your hair done" or "are those your best clothes?" (if they are and he looks kind of disparaging) or "so when are you planning to lose that excess weight?"
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'Did I tell you I have a wife'
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my MOM wants to meet you =)
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Yo bitch. Bend over then make me a steak.
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I love you......
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Lets get married and have 10 kids, then move in with my mother and her 18 cats.
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im married
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Do you mind if I bring my mom?
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my wife loves this resturaunt
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how much?
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Your sister is hot :)
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Ur brother is hot!
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Don't worry, I'm taking care of this gonorrea real good. =P or... You look like a whore I hired once. or I was gonna take you to a fancy restaurant... but Mcdonald's just a couple blocks away or so, you have a house, right? =D
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I just farted
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"Are you sure you need to eat that dessert?"
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I thought it was an orange cone? (No....that was a school crossing guard)
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You're a woman? Shit!
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what song would you like to die to?
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"I'm married" or "Can I hit that?"
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