No. Rape is not a way of making love or fulfilling your desire to be loved. The rapist does not desire you, he only is seeking his own gratification and dominance over you. This question and your previous question lead me to believe you are have having a problem with intimacy between you and your husband. There can be many reasons for this and this could be the reason you are having the desire to be raped. Rape is a very violent crime. The rapist may decide to beat you, or even kill you. The rapist may be carrying a disease. It is not something you should desire. I would recommend that you and your husband seek a qualified Marriage Counselor.

This fantasy may not be typical, everyday, or routine, but the numbers of women (and men) who fantasize about being raped is high enough to take away the idea that it's abnormal. Of course, this is fantasy, not reality. It's not like you're dreaming about raping someone yourself, or another woman getting raped, or a way of exerting power over a woman. What other answerers may not have considered is that your fantasy rapist most likely has nothing in common with a real rapist - a warped and disgusting piece of subatomic toxic waste. But, anyway, after giving this fantasy some thought, here's my take on it: It's easy enough to understand the appeal, when you think about it. Look at what happens in the fantasy: A mystery man (they're always intriguing and usually hot) takes complete control over you, your body, and the situation. He has total command, as any good man of mystery always does, so no one can blame you for anything, right? After all, someone else much stronger calls the shots, and you can't stop him. After a while, maybe you don't want to, but even then who can fault you? In addition, anything can happen in a fantasy - it's a safe indulgence for your more creative side, if you're not ready to share it with a real-life lover. This may irritate some people, but it's possible that maybe the whole thing's as simple as your wanting or needing an "alpha male" type guy in your life. One who's confident and capable and can get things done. Perhaps you're a bit weary of the "sensitive and caring, in touch with his feelings" type of man. Now, of course there's nothing wrong with those traits. God knows, there are enough insensitive and thoughtless jerks walking around these days to make a girl wonder where all the nice guys are sometimes, but still. A little goes a long way. If a guy is too sensitive or solicitous, or whiny...well, any woman might start fantasizing about a strong, confident guy taking control. And there's also the element of a powerful and mysterious man who's so overwhelmingly attracted to you that his primal, sensual nature overtakes logic and reason and he rips your clothes off and begins ravishing your body. You, of course, are utterly powerless to stop him, or anything else. Since he's a stranger, but a fantastic lover (this is a fantasy, right?) and has no pre-conceived ideas about what you like and don't like, you can let all your inhibitions go and be as wild, or as anything as you'd like. In the fantasy, you are the single focus of a man's untamed, uncontrolled lust. Just because no woman's ever imagined THAT before, doesn't mean it's abnormal for YOU to find it appealing, LOL. (I might have imagined it myself once or twice, but don't tell anybody) You can pretty much construct your fantasy man, too, because, well -- someone needs to. Who better than you? Give him the looks, body, voice, and personality that fit the fantasy. Will your fantasizing about rape lead to wanting the real thing? Oh, yea. When the President dons a pink tutu and pirouettes across the White House lawn. You already know the difference in fantasy and reality. In real life, rape is related to power. Fantasy rape has a lot to do with...what else? Sex. I wouldn't lose sleep over the whole thing, at any rate. When you think about it, since it's your fantasy, you are the person in complete, total control of a situation (the fantasy) in which you have no control and are totally submissive. Talk about confusing! I hope this helps.

I'm a little unsure about what this question is getting at. If you're asking whether its normal for a woman to fantasise about rape, to be turned on by the idea of rape by a stranger, then that's not unusual at all. Much of the erotic fiction written specifically with a female readership in mind (e.g the Black Lace series) is based around this very fantasy. If you need further proof try reading Nancy Friday's book "The Secret Garden" which documents sexual fantasies collected from a wide variety of women- about 50-70% involve force or rape in one way or another. One theory suggests that the idea of force is attractive to women because it absolves them of the guilt of "sluttiness" by being a willing participant in acts they might consider dirty; another suggests that women today, whilst happy in their more powerful sexually and otherwise dominant (or merely equal) modern roles, find the idea of being taken over and allowed to be purely receptive and submissive attractive. Whatever the reason, the fantasy is a common one. However, its that word "want" that's chiming wrong with me- Rape by definition is a crime carried out against the victims will- hence all those defence cases fought on the premise of "She wanted it really.." If a woman consents (i.e. desires or wants) the attack, then it is not, by definition, rape at all. A woman who chooses to fantasise about being forced into sex by a mysterious attractive stranger does not want to be raped, beaten to a pulp and possibly have her throat slit by a dirty, bad-smelling psychopath. As many people have said before, rape in our fantasies is about sex, rape in reality is about violence and power. The rapist of fantasy usually acts out because he can't resist your impossible sex appeal, or even because he loves sex, or wants to use you as a sex object- the rapist of reality is more often than not a misogynist who attaccks women because he hates them. Again, I'm not really sure what this question is asking- but hopefully I've covered both interpretations.

Rape fantasies are not uncommon among women. I know; I write erotic horror stories, and many of my most ardent fans are women with rape fantasies/fetishes. Now, I don't believe that any woman really wants to be raped by a stranger (but I'll say there MIGHT be a few, otherwise some such woman will invariably see my answer and give me an "incorrect" rating if I don't). The theory I've heard most often goes something like this: A woman is raped for real. Some women are turned off to sex completely. Others want to reenact the experience with someone that she trusts as a way to "defuse" the emotional scars.

eh yea, you just keep telling yourself that

no is not normal is very scary being raped in very serious the woman could get disease and the woman has a very high percent that she could get pregnent if the rapist didnt use a condom.

My girlfriend likes it when I grab her off of the couch, throw her on the bed, rip her clothes off, and forcefully have sex with her. She also knows that I know she likes it so there is no fear on her part. She has also told me she has rape fantacies but has also told me she would not like really being raped. Kinda confusing I guess.

No, it is not normal in my opinion. I can understand that women want to be romanced, but I don't think a man should ever force himself on a lady aggressively.

i think its normal o want to be dominated but i want to know is it noral to want the reality of rape? like beat me, put me in the hospital, force it on me, real live rape? is that normal?

Well I guess yeah.. My girlfriend likes to get raped. LoL. as in she wants me to make love to her and she likes to wrestle with me and fight me off when I try it. Though am way stronger than her and I could rape her in 10 seconds flat, I give her time and take it slow. Then she gets really tired of fighting me off and gives in. I guess she gets a kick out of it. Some kind of fantasy that I cant understand. But hey, if it turns her on why not play by it..

It would depend on what is meant by "normal." It is a relatively common fantasy -- meaning that at least 1/4 of women have thought about it at some point or another. In some studies, over half of women fantasize about being bound or "forced" or "dominated." But the use of the word "rape" is difficult to pinpoint and use with accuracy in this context. By definition, rape is sexual intercourse without consent -- whether the consent be explicit or implicit, verbal or nonverbal. Ergo the "rape" that takes place in a fantasy is arguably not rape at all, as the "victim" is obviously consenting by virtue of having the fantasy in the first place. People also generally distinguish between bondage fantasies and rape fantasies, but obviously there can be considerable overlap. If a woman consents to being bound, made helpless, and then her partner penetrates her over her mock objections... is that a rape FANTASY since it actually occurred? Would fantasizing about having sex while bound be tantamount to a rape fantasy? Probably not, as I am guessing that women with rape fantasies do not actually want to be raped, whereas women with bondage fantasies may very well want to actually be bound. Ultimately, I would have to say that "rape fantasies" are not abnormal or unusual, but depending on how broadly or narrowly they are defined, it may only be a small cohort of the general population that actively and frequently engages in such fantasies.

I think it is a pretty common fantasy.

It's a pretty normal fantasy.

I dont feel so odd about fantasizing about rape now and I also realise I'm only fantasizing about being taken agressively, whether its against or at my will. I really just want a powerful man to make my body his coffin. =)

Normal? Who defines what normal is? "Normal" is what's normal for THAT person. As far as answering your question, that's what friends are for, so who needs a stranger?

Most women I have known would just love to be raped by friends that pretend to be strangers. Or strangers that their friends or husband has arraigned to rape her. As long as she knows she is in no real danger but will be forced to preform sex with one or many men and/or women, it will remove all guilt from her and she will be (forced) to enjoy the ride. It is what she has always wanted but was unable to acheave before, total sexual abandon, just pure pleasure without any care of what anyone will think later. My wife is like this. She need to be tied up and fucked by several men. She loves to be blindfolded and naked except for her high heal shoes. I bring home friends from work and friends of friends. She never really knows she is fucking her and she loves it. Later she greats everyone she sees at the store or anywhere as if they have been fucking her or if they will be in her next. She gets real turned on by it. I would advise anyone in a long relationship or married to try to turn her on to this kind of idea. Very Carefully, she cant feel to guilty about wanting this either or it will all blow up. Very complicated stuff but well worth it in the end. I (husband) also like every other guy I have known just loves to watch my wife fucking other men. Something about watching you woman getting fucked by several men is just the best damn turn on ever. I love to talk about it over and over with her as we lay naked and playing with each other. I love to hear how it all felt to her and she loves to tell me how each cock felt in her. I come over and over watching her fucking as she is begging for the guys to fuck her. She is in her sexiest and most desirable form at that moment. I know lots of other guys who want to try this also. They are just afraid to approach their wife/girlfriend about it. Women, tell you man EXACTLY what you want.......... You will get it.......