If you were facing eventual, probable total disability of a loved one (e.g., from Alzheimer’s disease) who would require 24/7 care, would you contemplate nursing home care, or would you commit to yourself that you would damn well do it yourself?
by 
ChuckExAnon
ANSWERS: 19
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No, I would not, because realistically, I'm not equipped or qualified to provide that level of care. However, I would do my best and do what I could.
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I would take care of them myself. I would take the steps to educate myself fully on how to properly do so.
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If it was a family member, say hello to the nursing home, but if it was one of my children, grandchildren, or husband, I would definitely do it myself.
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I have and unless you are prepared to TOTALLY give up your livelihood, the nursing home with follow-up, at random, visits is the answer.
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Mostly you get no or little choice in the situation. People don't just wake up with Alzheimer's one morning and need help...The actual process is slow and you gradually just sort of drift into being more and more of a care giver --this lasts until you realize that you need help or your have a breakdown and get help . Oftentimes as well you are not able to give the required level of care to an infirm person and you just cannot give them all that they need. This is a very difficult decision and position to be in. My mother had Alzheimers' and at one point I had to sit down and admit that I needed help to cope with her.,.I know I made the right decision. My mother would never have wanted to have become the burden that she was becoming. I hope it works out as well for you..This is an ugly disease:(
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I would research the local nursing homes. I would do this by making random visits to those that are under care there, talking to them, and seeing what THEY thought of the place. I'd ask the local medical professionals what THEIR opinions were of the places. I'd talk to the staff, seeing what they were like, and how open they would be with me about things. And I would pick the best. Then I would arrange with my family to all do random drop-in visits, and, if I could talk him into it, even her physician. ANY problems with it, I would first go to the staff, then the owners, then the state board. Alzheimer's is way too hard to take care of on your own. So are many other debilitating diseases. No one person or family can do so very well, without needing breaks. That's a short road to resentment or even hatred. Then a long, long feeling of guilt once they are gone.
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I worked in nursing homes for years And they are NOT always the best place to put a person but I would have no choice. My health in itself does not allow me to even have total control of my life. I am 37 and have to have help with bathing, cooking, housekeeping, shopping, etc so there would be no way that I could care for an loved one with a disability like that. I used to work with Alzheimers patients and they require 24/7 care and a LOT of work and patience. Turn your eyes and they get hurt or hurt someone. I would not do it until the last minute and until they were a major danger to themselves or others but eventually I would have no choice. I am not able and I am not trained enough to be able to handle it.
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I'm afraid I would be very selfish. I have a husband and children to take care of and although I would do my best up to a certain point, once that point started to interfer with the rest of my families happiness or lives then I would have to contemplate a nursing home.
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I would do it myself, and with help from others.
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I have gone through this very situation back in 2004 with my mother! It's very sad when you see someone you love slowly drift away and not een know who you are! I was totally against the nursing home thing and decided to keep her home until further help was needed. We had a live-in that took care of her - it was sad feeling totally helpless!
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I committed myself to taking care of my grandfather 100% when he had Alzheimer's. I actually moved in with him and I had my aunt stay with him while I was at school and took care of him after that. After his passing I moved in with my grandmother and she has started becoming very senile. I told my mom there is no way I can do that again, it was too painful to watch and I physically injured myself countless times trying to move him from his bed to his wheelchair and other situations.
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I would do it until I couldn't. Alzheimer's is different from nearly everything else because the personality breaks down and the person can become pretty angry and even violent in their confusion. They can also be up 24 hours a day and can wander away when you finally collapse in exhaustion.
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i work with people with disablity in there homes . and i see stress,pain put on there family. i think in a home that way have alot care 24/7 you know there beiing cared for at home they could turn on cooker or open door or go down stairs in middle of night and fall .
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I'm with my partner now in a Hospice clinic. It would be impossible to do this all by myself, and it would not be best for him either. I am here 24/7 though, and I hope I don't lose my job.
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For long term care... which is why they call it that actually. I would prefer my loved one being in an environment where I would know they were being taken care of 24/7 I had my mother home with me, but from the start... We knew she was dying and wouldn't live more than the 2 months that she did. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life... But it was the easiest decision I ever made.
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Although without actually being put in such a hard situation, I would instinctively do as much as I possibly could on my own. However, It would be such a hard situation to be in financially either way. If I were to commit myself to it, then I would not be able to work, and if they went to an assisted living facility, it would be equally if not more financially draining. Thumbs up for the question though, really made me think.
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My grandma had it and we had to put her in long term care. The thing is that they have to be watched 24/7. There isn't really a way you can do that unless you have 24/7 free and don't have to work. If you do have to put someone in long term care get a place close to where you live so that you can check on them daily. It's not a pretty picture but better if you can oversee it.
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For me it would depend on my previous relationship with the loved one. If that person was kind and agreeable vs bitter and critical...would determine my response.
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i am in this situation and due to economics will have no choice but to do it myself. god will help.
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