by justinoldguy on December 9th, 2006

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FOR WOMEN ONLY TO REPLY: Would you rather have a boyfriend or husband who was a good provider & loyal & a nice guy, but who didn't listen well, or take care of your emotional needs, or someone more ordinary & w/ less money who was very good in that area?

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by AntigoneRising on December 9th, 2006
Ordinary with less money. Without a doubt! (And trust me, I REALLY mean it. The ex I'm divorcing inherited a mint this Spring. I don't want it or him. AWAY AWAY AWAY!)
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- I would expect that reply from you. :) +4. Makes me feel like I was doing it OK all these years, even if I never could get a relationship to last longer than 8 years. I sure as hell worked on them. But it takes two to work on them, unfortunately.
  
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  by justinoldguy on December 9th, 2006
- Good honest answer. Though it sounds like he wasn't a "loyal and nice guy" though, so not quite type 1.
  
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  by ChrisDG on December 10th, 2006
- Yes, it does take two, always. That fact doomed my marriage.
  
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  by AntigoneRising on December 11th, 2006
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by PurpleRN on December 10th, 2006
I would have to go with option b, emotional needs are very important to keep a relationship going in my opinion. If my boyfriend doesnt seem to be paying attention, I let him know how important something means to me, and he'l usualy start to listen.
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by kyannie72 on December 10th, 2006
My first husband was the first choice (or so I thought) and I was miserable. We didn't have a lot of money, but he worked a steady job and provided for me and our daughter. That only lasted about 9 years. Met my present husband, believe it or not on the internet, in Oct. of 2001, and we got married in March of 2002. I wish I had met him first. He is so sensitive to all my needs and is a good provider as well. But I do not believe my first marriage was a mistake because then I wouldn't have the joy that is my beautiful 13 year old daughter. Since I met my husband, it has restored my faith that there are nice guys who care about the woman they love and are also a good provider. I knew they exsisted because my dad and brothers are that way, but I thought he was they were the last of the good guys. I thank God everyday that He has gifted other men out there with the ability to truly love their spouse/g.friend and do what it takes to support and make them happy. I will definitly teach my son to be one of those men.
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by Zera_in_a_can on July 12th, 2008
EMOTIONAL NEEDS. If you can't connect, then you're falling in love with their money and whatnot. Loyalty is good and being nice helps, but without an emotional connection, there really is no love.
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by munchkin_kids_downunder on December 27th, 2006
option b, as long as he was loyal, that is really important to me!
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by Anonymous on December 27th, 2006
I'd have to agree with everyone who has answered so far: the latter. I can earn my own money and provide myself with all the material goods in the world, but it would be good to have an emotional companion.
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by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on July 27th, 2007
I have the nice guy now. If he died, I would take the rich dude the second time.
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by Lush babe on July 27th, 2007
I prefer the one with less money but hardworking and knows what a girl really wants. I don't wanna be with the rich guy but left me alone with depression. (- -,)
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by refuse2conform on January 14th, 2007
Men who do not listen well and/or take care of a women's emotional needs are about as usefull as tits on a bull. This is the number 1 complaint I have with my hubby. He just REFUSES to understand that I need more than just a roof over my head and a nice smile to look at. It drives me crazy.
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by Anonymous on December 27th, 2006
Easily, easily, I'd take the poor man with the kind heart. A "good provider" is not a good provider if all he provides is things.

Country singer Jeanne Pruett said it best:

I'd rather be a poor man's woman
And be all he has in life
Than to be just one more possession
As a lonely rich man's wife
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by Anonymous on April 26th, 2009
It only mathers if he, is good to you. Money cany bay love
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- yeah like the beetles said money cant buy me love
  
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  by Anonymous on July 22nd, 2011
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by happiness on October 20th, 2008
I'll rather pick the first. Cuz I suspect the second guy as soon as he has more money he'll become the first guy.
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by sjane23 on October 20th, 2008
Option B, the more ordinary guy who could relate to me and actually cared
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by VS Angel aka Mrs. Stealth Intelligence on October 19th, 2008
Less money and LOTS of attention (also loyal and nice, though).
I can make the money and he can treat me like a Princess.
:D
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by UneFille on July 13th, 2008
This is the very problem I struggled with in deciding whether to stay in my last relationship. He was the former but wasn't always a nice guy. A lot of conceit and arrogance and condescension came with his provider persona. But between the two...I would say neither. I'd rather provide for myself and have guy friends than choose one of these. I have had both.

Thanks for the great question.
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by little sprout on July 12th, 2008
i have had one bf who was a very sweet and nice and giving and caring but was never for for ME. Give me the guy who doesnt make alot of money but has his shit together and was in tune to who i was and what i needed as i am in tune to who they are and what they needed as well. People need to stop looking for what they WANT and start looking for what they NEED. They are two completly diffrent things.
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by xena-angel on July 12th, 2008
My hushand is the good provider & loyal & a nice guy
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by RosieB on July 12th, 2008
Good provider and loyal and nice guy like my husband. He may not be the most emotionally supportive (although he tries), but that is what I have girlfriends for! LOL

Happily married for over 14 years,
Rosie
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by kim on April 12th, 2007
if the only probelms the 1dt guy had was he didnt listen well then..use his $$$$$ take him to therapy and get his issues solves as a couple.
with the 2nd guy he seems perfect so nothing there to complain he only has less money he aint uneployed or broke ass.....so as a couple we can manage fine : )

doesnt matter about much. what matters is how you feel about the person and how they feel about you. i wont shackle up forever with someone who dont treat me right.
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by Yarnlady is happy every day on July 13th, 2008
Having had both in my life, I can say from experience that the first option has proven to be the best, for the past 33 years.
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by AnonymousGirl on November 26th, 2010
Someone more ordinary and with less money who is very good in that area. I hate not being listened to by a "PARTNER"! What kind of "partner" does not listen to his or her "partner"?
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by ladyshakespeare on October 19th, 2008
I want the man who will hold my hand wehn im lost, hold my head when i cry and hold my heart by any means necessary. loyal is a must, nice guy is a matter of opinion, and money doesnt mean a damn thing.

on a different note, the men on AB keep chewing my butt for asking questions that insinuate that a man may cheat or be disrespectful. How come nobody is complaining about the dozens of questions that insinuate that all women are golddiggers.
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- to be fair i dont thinbk all the men on ab think women are gold diggers, i personalkly dont but ive encountered them in my past and so hav many men, in this world, and some are so good at disguising thier true intentions to the point where dcent men get insnared by them and end up regretting it which is why some men are so jaded about relationships. it hard to tell the good women from the gold diggers because the real gold diggers have learn how to act like that good ones until it time to raid a mans wallet or his bank book.
  
  it sjust like the same reason that women scrutinize every guy assuming they only want sex when this isnt true of all men if you know your not a gold digger then there is no need to take whats said on ab personally. because they are actually talking about actual gold diggers they have enountered or been hurt by so dont take it personally.
  
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  by Anonymous on July 22nd, 2011
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Question

FOR WOMEN ONLY TO REPLY: Would you rather have a boyfriend or husband who was a good provider & loyal & a nice guy, but who didn't listen well, or take care of your emotional needs, or someone more ordinary & w/ less money who was very good in that area?

Answers. 22 helpful answers below.

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