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by xray charlie on September 19th, 2008

xray charlie

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My daughter will be turning 18, next month. in Dec (winter break) she is planning to visit her boyfriend in Japan. He's stationed there. she is determined to go. Trip will be paid by him. How can I convince her not to go?Or let her make the final decision

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Answers. 12 helpful answers below.

  • by JuJubee is wearing a COAT of chocolate on September 20th, 2008

    JuJubee is wearing a COAT of chocolate

    She's 18. Let her go. If you raised her right (and I'm sure you did) she'll remember everything you taught her as she was growing up. : O )

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  • by Bohemian is back on September 20th, 2008

    Bohemian is back

    I think if parents don't allow their grown children freedom to shape their own lives and make their own mistakes then it can lead to resentment later on. It's like putting a lion in a cage. Support her in her decisions in life. If you treat her as a grown-up she will make grown up decisions. My mother interfered in my relationships so much that I have not seen her for years in order that she doesn't break up this one. Just let her be. She will come back.

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  • by ninja man on September 19th, 2008

    ninja man

    So, why are you trying to convince her not to go? I mean, she will be an adult legally (good time to start making decisions), the boyfriend is paying for it (which means you aren't), and the fact that he is actually going to pay to bring her over means he most likely isn't a cheater (which would make him a rare commodity when it comes to military personnel). So where is the problem?

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  • by .avallach on September 19th, 2008

    .avallach

    This is a duplicate...but why are you against her going?

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  • by Koz - Passion Perseverance Patience on October 20th, 2008

    Koz - Passion Perseverance Patience

    Japan is still one of the safest countries around. It would be a good experience but I see your concern about staying with her boyfriend.

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  • by penny lane on September 19th, 2008

    penny lane

    why is it such a bad idea to let her go? it's only a visit right?

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  • by PixieDust_and_DemonHorns on September 19th, 2008

    PixieDust_and_DemonHorns

    Well my mother would probably cry and yell till she got what she wanted...she always does. Shes 18 so all you can really do is talk to her about but you dont want to do so in a way that will make her want to go. You dont want to push her away. Maybe she could get him to come to your home instead of her to his.

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  • by with my love on September 20th, 2008

    with my love

    why would you like to do so ? what are afried of ?

    making sex ? i think she is 18 and she did .

    any way it depend on your relation with her ? talk to her tell her your feeling ( real one ) about that matter and let her decide and what ever hwe answer will be show her how much you love and care about her.

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  • by VS Angel aka Mrs. Stealth Intelligence on October 20th, 2008

    VS Angel aka Mrs. Stealth Intelligence

    I'm sure you've raised her well. :D

    I'd let her go if she wanted to.
    :D

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  • by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on October 20th, 2008

    TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT

    why convince her not to go? do you want her relationship to fail?

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  • by mariana on October 20th, 2008

    mariana

    Are you more concerned with them being alone together, or her safety traveling overseas? Try to look at it from the educational perspective. She should take every chance to travel that she can.

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  • by Meg on December 20th, 2009

    Meg

    I'm writing this from your daughter's perspective. Unless she usually engages in dangerous activities, chances are she's not going to do something stupid. If she's a normally responsible girl, let her go. You're only setting yourself up for conflict and resentment if you don't. I know it's hard to have your loved one far away in an unfamiliar place, but it won't be any easier when she's 30. Start now.

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More Questions. Additional questions in this category.

You're reading My daughter will be turning 18, next month. in Dec (winter break) she is planning to visit her boyfriend in Japan. He's stationed there. she is determined to go. Trip will be paid by him. How can I convince her not to go?Or let her make the final decision - which can also be phrased in the following ways:

  • My daughter will be turning 18, next month, In Dec (winter break) she is planning to visit her boyfriend in Japan. He's stationed there. She is determined to go. Boyfriend will pay for trip. What can I tell her, to convince her otherwise?

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