ANSWERS: 40
  • I would have to say yes. A 36 year old man is usually ready to settle down and build a family (have children), and if he is interested in someone who he is old enough to be the father of, than he is probably pretty immature for someone his age and the girl would probably mature beyond him within a few years and lose interest, after investing that much time in him. He might even be a pedifile, (highly unlikely, but possible). A 17 year old girl is just now coming into herself. She is finally old enough that mom and dad let her stay out later and do the things that she wants to, but she is still a minor and still has a lot to learn about herself and the world. She would most likely be at a point in her life where she is trying to decide what college she wants to go to, what kind of career she wants, etc. And, her major worries should be stuff like what she is going to wear to high school tomorrow and whether she got her homework and chores done or not. You know, teenager stuff. And, she probably hasn't had much experience with relationships and sex, when a 36 year old man probably has and would probably expect it of her. She shouldn't be worrying about sex, what to cook for dinner, or about children, etc, which is most likely what a 36 year old man is going to expect of his woman as well. Even if she has had sexual experience, she probably doesn't even realize yet the meanings and total responsibilities behind making love at such a young age. She should be dating someone closer to her own age, maturity and experience level, who is learning, growing and changing at a similar rate. My mom was 17 and my dad was 24 when they got married. It does not seem like much of an age difference, but it is. He wanted to settle down and have kids, and though she wanted to as well because she loved him, she did it too soon. She got pregnant and married and her first child was born exactly 1 month before her 18th birthday. I am 24 and they have been divorced since I was 5. Though they both love their children and always took good care of us, they both also feel that they shouldn't have gone about there relationship the way they did and that they would both have much more financially stable lives if they had waited until they were older, and had a career and home established. There is a lot that they both missed out on. Tell her to slow down.
  • Yes. Be concerned and tell her parents about it. If this girl is your friend you will take action quickly to protect her. When you tell her parents tell both of them at the same time everything that you know regarding this man. He's a child molester.
  • If they are in love then it shouldnt matter. She is old enough to make decisions for herself, and if those are the things she wants to be thinking about and to be worried about then it is fine. That's life and it's good that she maybe wants to get a head start on life and think things out, all of that is cool. And even if he is older, it's not that hes not mature, it could be that he is fun to be a round and a really great guy, and maybe she is a cool girl to be around. It doesnt make the man immature it makes the man good for her. An older guy can treat a girl a lot better than the young losers that are around. If she can save herself from being hurt then let her, and if not then its a mistake, but the age cant save you from pain or anything, you may or may not get hurt it's in the destiny of the relationship nothing more.
  • Well I can definitely see both sides of the coin here. I respect and understand the opinions and to a degree, agree with those that oppose the relationship; however, I myself am 35 and my GF is 17 and we have the best relationship ever. No, I’m not sick or a child molester. I live a normal life. I go camping, fishing have a decent career and try to live simple and not out to do nobody wrong. I have dated my own age and what not and have found in most cases girls my age are not on the same sort of FUN level that Iam on. Meaning, I like to have fun nothing crazy I don't go to bars or drink or do drugs I mean just fun stuff cookouts, baseball games, camping, riding my motorcycle and just being goofy. I have found that older girls my age have already been married, have kids, or so wrapped up in the jobs that they really don't devote time to a relationship. A younger girl typically is baggage free. I have not been married or have any kids and do not want someone else baggage therefore I chose to date this girl. Now normally I would not have thought about starting a relationship with such a young girl; however, I have found her to be on my level fun wise, and on serious things as well EG: we can sit and have intelligent conversation on politics, the stock market economy to music both new and old stuff. Now she does sometimes act like a true 17 year old but then again don't we all sometimes :-) but I enjoy that in her. I do not try to manipulate her I give her complete freedom and encourage her to chase her ambitions and have a life. Yes there are many many things she does not know yet and I do my best to let her work those things out by herself I only get involved if I see she would be making a HUGE mistake. Anyways, that being said, our relationship is one of the most solid relationships I have had compared to some of the ones I have had with girls my own age. If she decided later on that she doesn't want to be with me then so be it. I almost got married and invested almost 15 years in a relationship that ended up going nowhere so no one truly knows how it will payout Im thinking we will end up having a very fun and happy life together. Now I do see some concerns about an older guy dating a younger girl if, the guy is using her for sexual interests only, trying to manipulate or control her, or is abusive or using her as a trophy or some sort of thing like that. Yes some guys even at 36 are immature and some girls at 17 are too immature for such relationships; however, one must look at the situation at hand and not in general. All situations and individuals are different and it would be unfair to judge a relationship based on general assumptions. Throughout history men have had relationships with younger girls and was socially acceptable. The only thing that’s changed is societies views. Now I’m not saying today’s views are right or wrong all I’m saying is that most people follow the crowd and general census of what society thinks is right and wrong. If the two people are truly in love and end up having a happy life together who are we to deny them that right or chance to find out if they have what it takes to make it. All I can say is look or try to look at the individuals unbiased without prejudices and see it for what it is. On another note to this, the stereotyping of men, women and teenage girls is appalling. I myself in no way expect or would think that a woman’s place in my life would be to stay in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant. I think that’s a terrible thing that some people actually still think that a woman’s job is to cook, clean and pop out kids. We have moved beyond that sort of Neanderthal way of thought or so I had thought.
  • well yea but if they are in love it shouldent matter
  • Yes not only is it something to be concerned about but in most states is consider breaking the law. To me this guy has to have issues to be dating someone that much younger than himself. The girl obviously is to immature to have in clear judgment about this. Where are her parents?? I as a parent would never stand for something like this.
  • If I was him I would be concerned that her dad might find out, or the law. If they are having sex it is against the law in some states.
  • Yes they did find out about our relationship and well, needless to say it did not go well. I was told they were going to call the cops ect. My GF told her parents that she didn't want to have anything to do with me so she promised she would bnever see me again blah blah blah and they didn't come after me thank god! Every parent is diff in my case we have been being cautious and well she is 2 weeks away from 18 so its all good. Theres alot to consider and weigh out is it worhtit? the law, parents, friends, social stigmas, ect. There is no right answer only what you feel is right and what you think is best and know if this is waht you will want 10 years down the road it's not worth the aggrivation if you don't think it will last. be carefull and roll with it. Good luck
  • Yes, I'm concerned. This guy seems to think that women his age aren't worth looking at. I'm always a little concerned when guys who are over 30 are looking at teenage girls like that. It's so hedonistic. They should back off and let these girls live a life before they try and get them to settle down. Fucking a teenager doesn't make you young! Now go find a WOMAN! Perv!
  • I know an 18-year old girl who is going out with a 56-year old man, and they're planning to get married. They're the happiest and closest couple I know. So I'd say as long as she is mature enough for it, no.
  • If the age of consent is 17, then go for it, as I have no business judging. It's still creepy being with someone 2x your age, unless you want his money.
  • Yup, it is, forget the 20 year age difference, its the fact that she's not even legal yet that would worry me.
  • I THINK SHES TOO YOUNG FOR SUCH A RELATIONSHIP, AND YOU SHOULD LET HER PARENTS KNOW WHATS GOING ON.
  • I THINK SHES TOO YOUNG FOR SUCH A RELATIONSHIP, AND YOU SHOULD LET HER PARENTS KNOW WHATS GOING ON.
  • I think that old man is a perv... why he cant get some one his age.... thats crazy... i wouldnt doubt if he was a child molester........
  • i am 17 and am also dating a 36 year old we were freinds first he was seeing someone his own age!! i hadnt seen him for a while then we where reunited by freinds!! i found out he had split wit his gf months ago but the thought of us getting together wasn't going though either of our minds we just became realy close over time, he still feels awful about the age difference he realy hates it but we are so good together i just wish you judging f*****s would keep your opinions to yourself if you knew how hard it was then you would keep your mouths SHUT!!! leave your freind alown, if things get dodgy then tel someone have u met this bloke??? don't discriminate against this man because of his age i hope this gal is as happy as i am!!
  • im a 17 year old female. i am currently in a long term relationship with a 35 year old male. we have been dating for the past 6 and a half months. im almost 18 years old. He is not immature nor a pedaphile. what i find in him is that he makes me feel special and he never pisses me off, he always makes me smile. i talk to his mum n dad. They both are very accepting of our relationship. we both work together. i have previously been in really bad relationships. he treats me with respect. in all of my relationships appart from the current one i am in, there has always been violence involved. my ex had said to me face that he would sleep with my sister over me. he is the only male i know that will not hurt me in any form of way, and i have known him for two years. so please if you dont agree to this tell me because i would love to here your opinion on what my life is like, and also dont forget you can say anything you like... but at the end of the day i love him and he loves me.... im not going to lose sleep over it!!! well thats if you say something nasty!!!!
  • It all depends whom you ask. I am 100% sure that ANY WOMAN over the age of 24 will tell you that a 36 year old man and a 17 year old girl is a huuuuuuuge NO NO. and the reason is that older women in the United States are sick of being rejected by men of the same age because 36 old women are old women but 36 old man is a young man still. That's just nature and that's why 36 year old women are bitter and will hate a 36 year old man who dates someone younger. If you ask a 36 year old man like myself who has worked all his life and was born in Iran, grew up in Germany and moved to the US at age 21, and had basically no time for socializing and was always concerned about making it and had never had a relationship..a 17 year old is perfect...why?? she is young and fun and the guy will enjoy her. Older women are no fun and there is nothing fun about saggy boobs, old face, bitter mentality, etc. I like to ask this bitter women to deal with reality. This is nature and no one can change it: men mature later in life than women!!! Girls have their fun while young but young men have to work like a dog and have no life until they are in tehir 30s. This is reality. Unless your dad is very rich or u look damn fine and manly at a young age no girl wants you...and imagine u look good and manly at 36 and some old woman says I can't have a young girl as my g/f???? i would tell her screw off old woman and let me have my life and fun. So in conclusion: our opinions don't matter and if the girl likes the guy..let it be...I think it's better that a 17 year old girl dates a 36 year old guy than a immature, smelly, no good, pizza face 17 year old guy...ofcourse when I was 17 i said a 36 year old guy is a perverte and should never date a 17 year old girl..but ofcourse back then I was that 17 year old pizza face, and I was immature..and i was poor
  • Absolutely. Law wise, there is a great deal of difference between 17 and the free to do as you please age of 18. Red flag.
  • It's something to do some research about. If he is trying to take advantage of her in some way, it's very bad. If not, it's not really bad at all. The problem is that a parent can't really know the true motivations of a person that much older than their daughter. A responsible parent would get to know the man.
  • Yes. standard Creepiness rule (as according to xkcd): Dont date under(your age/2) + 7. http://xkcd.com/314/
  • The guy she is dating is a pedifile. If you were 36 years old and you looked at a 17 year old i would hope you would be disgusted. This guy has problems in his mind and he really needs some help. If i were you i would get this girl far away from this guy because you dont know where else this can lead to and this guy might be with kids or something so you never kno
  • When my sister was 17 she married a 36 year old man. Still married seven years later.
  • When I was 16 I met and started dating a 32 year old man. We dated for 6 years before getting married, and divorced after 2. Would I do it again? Not a chance. This man was attracted to me for what I represented: youth. As I started to get older and come into my own the attraction dissapated. In the end he cheated on me with a younger woman and then blamed me for being unattractive. I walked away and realized, while I had been growing up - he never would. Maybe there are rare cases that do work, but in my experience if these men are immature enough in their 30's to date a teenager it's not going to change.
  • keep an eye on this relationship if u see anything suspitious then do something bout it other wise its fine if they r happy who cares im 16 and my bf is 32 so i get what its like for her be there to listen cuz if something rong she will want to talk bout it always listen to her i no my friends help alot im getting out of this relaionship cuz he has gotten crazy lol but let her be till u see something rong or till she seems to be upset or scared plz be there for her just in case u never no he might abuse her. she will do as she pleases if she is convinced she loves him be there for her show her that she has ppl who care for her this way if he is mentally abuseing her she has someone and it will be harder for him to control her. i no how ppl who date girls that young r i no how it is for them to abuse u and u no what u cant get out by urself she will need u she will need someone who cares stick wit hher plzzzz
  • You all have no clue...im dating a 32 year old and im 17 and we have an amazing relationship! Its not at all about sex...we have so many things in common...and look at things the same....we can talk for hours about life, sports, god, family and not say a word about sex...we spend more time watching movies or talking or just hanging out then i ever have with a guy...all most guys want is sex and he dosnt. Just bcuz there is a big age difference dosnt mean he is a perv...he is far from it trust me. He goes to church every sunday he takes care of his father...he dosnt drink, smoke or do drugs and he has only had sexual intercourse with two people. Do you think a perv is gunna be like that??? NO! I may not make since...but dont judge peoples relationships unless you know more...i can see disagreeing if it was all about sex or if the guy controlled the girl and in my case he lets me do what i want to do i dosnt make decisions for me and he supports everything i do he pushes me to go to college, have, be what i want to be and go where i want to go. So please dont judge people before you know what their relationship is like it hurts.
  • Looking at everything numerically is a very BAD way to determine an answer to this question. You have to see the people to make a judgement, because numbers alone create preconceived notions in our minds that are inaccurate. It all depends on the people. Some men at 35 look very different at the same age. There are some men who look 28-30 when they are 35 and there are other men who look 50 when they are 35. The same goes for women, some look very mature for their age and others look extremely young for their age. Then you have to factor in maturity levels. It is irresponsible to say a man at 35 dating a younger girl is just immature, as some men are simply more athletic or social than others. Using celebrities just to create an example, take Jay Z and Beyonce. When they started dating Jay Z was 36 and Beyonce 21. That's a 15 year difference yet if you see them together they are not very mismatched. see: "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axtr-yL33os"
  • I do not feel that it is something to be concerned about unless the girl is inmature and unknowing of what she is getting herself into he is not a pervert shes 17 she is fully legally an adult she knows what shes doing. Some girls develop and mature faster than others and feel a need to be with older men. I myself can say that I have been with older men true you might not end up wanting the same things and you might part ways but.. You learn a lot from older guys. I completley agree that there is an issue if he just see's her as a sex symbol and nothing more than a trophy then yes the situation is wrong. But given the proper old man and you can grow up and learn a lot of things....
  • i am 17 years old and i am dating a 36 year old. our relationship is great. i know that its taboo though and society will never really accept it. age is just a number, so why does it really matter? if personalities click so much why does it matter how old you are. yes there are hurdles, but any relationship will. you dont think an 18 year old and her 20 yr old boyfriend wouldnt have similar problems? the difference really isnt that big of a deal when you think about it
  • nothing new now a days, that girl is running behind money http://optionbiotechonline.com/products/erexium.htm
  • Not at all...I, myself is 17 and I have been dating a 38 year old man for 4 months now. He is very mature and gives less of a headache than youngers guys. Also he is less likely to break up with me than I am with him. Also we are able to communicate well so he gives me great comfort when I am feeling down. He is always calm and that is what makes me most attracted to him.
  • Yes. SOMEBODY should be concerned about a pedophile of that sort with a 17 year old child.
  • I think that a 17 year old and a 36 year old can be together based on love and if they love each then bye all means they should do what they want; because at the age of 16 i was in love wit a 27 year old and we are still together to this day i feel that if it's true love then why would age matter.I feel that after 15 years old you can make your own choices and decide who you love and who you don't but please keep in mind that love takes time it is not something that happens over night. So wat you feel maybe a strong feeling of like. But don't get me wrong, you can love some one but not be in love with that person. So if you feel you are ready to make a commitment for the rest of your life, then yes do it but if not think about wat you are doing. Because your decision will reflect off of you for the rest of your life.
  • he is sick..and a perv i'm sorry but that's just not right, and anyone who justify's it is just wanting to get into the knickers of a minor too, as for the girl im sure she too also realize's that it's a bit dodgy but maybe she's just to naive to really understand that it's wrong, and that this man is getting away with abuse.
  • i think the girl should wait till she's an adult...but if they both love each other and arent fooling around then yeah its ok...but it all dpends how both of them feel
  • I can't believe how small minded the people are on this site,americans think nothing of guns and shooting people,but are so opposed to age gap relationships how sad,a paedaphile by the way likes pre pubescent boys or girls and women are usually fully sexually developed at 14,so he's noway a paedaphile,she is probably old for age so is turned off by younger men and he is probably young at heart,I have known of much bigger age gaps involving celebrities dating 16 year old girls,and for some reason people don't seam bothered about it,I think people should concern themselves with their own lives and let others live theirs.
  • I can't believe how small minded the people are on this site,americans think nothing of guns and shooting people,but are so opposed to age gap relationships how sad,a paedaphile by the way likes pre pubescent boys or girls and women are usually fully sexually developed at 14,so he's noway a paedaphile,she is probably old for age so is turned off by younger men and he is probably young at heart,I have known of much bigger age gaps involving celebrities dating 16 year old girls,and for some reason people don't seam bothered about it,I think people should concern themselves with their own lives and let others live theirs.
  • YES!!!! Do her parents know? He can be charged with Rape if he has had sexual relations with her. She is a minor until she is 18 years old. Any man that age who dates a girl that young is either retarded or a child molester. Any parent who would allow such a relationship is an unfit parent. Tell her parents or send a note in the mail with no signature if you dont want to be blamed for breaking them up.
  • I can only say from experience that I have been married for 9 years to a man who is 13 yrs younger than me. We had a good marriage but because of certain pressures we decided to part company. The physical side was still there simmering until I found out he was seeing a 17yr old! What the hell! I was feeling guilty enough when I met him. I was 40 and he was 27 but at least we were mature and adults. I just feel now degraded and probably older than I would have felt and the fact that she is older than the daughter that he loved and spent time with is sullied by this fact is a warning to others PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHO YOU TAKE IN TO YOUR ARMS! Not bitter just hurt and betrayed.

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