My dad is crabby, acts like a little kid, gets pissed over every little thing, only cares about himself, lazy, and is nosy. I often wonder what the hell my mom saw in him. Why do people date people like that if they are literally like that 24/7?
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Sheepingly needs no handy men only hugs
ANSWERS: 11
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Fear of being alone, they weren't like that when they first met, they have a big heart inside with real feelings, etc. Personally, I don't really understand it either.
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I know it may not be easy for you to believe/accept/understand, but he may not be like that 24/7. You need to remember you're seeing him from a unique point of view: his child. If you haven't moved out of the house yet, you may see him in a different light once you have. If your mom has a similar opinion of him, then you have a valid question of what she saw in him. Unless she's willing to share this with you, you may never understand it. My family wonders why I married my wife, and hers wonders about me. Neither of us understand what their issues are, but we don't need to. If you haven't moved out yet, just steer clear of him as much as you can without being rude. Try to stay on his good side (if you can find it).
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People undergo many changes through life, so it's quite possible that your dad was not like that before, but gradually methamorphosed into the way he is now. Have you ever asked your mom about how it was when they were dating?
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many people have low self esteem and think they can do no better. Some get use to rude behavior that comes on slowly and builds after time. She could have picked your dad out of a rebel side in her that your grandfather did not approve of. Could also have been when she was growing up her father was the same and thats what she seen as normal. The thing is people pick and choose for many different reasons. I knew a man who picked his wife because he was attracted to her feet. Did not matter that she was mean and hateful of she could not cook and would not work and never even wanted a child in her home alone giving birth. They stayed married nearly 40 years until she past away.
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You have no idea what your dad was like when he and your mom first met..he might have been a totally different, charming and loving person. Life happens to people..all people..some get crabby about it, others remain untouched. I'd cut him some slack. Unless you know everything he has been through in all these years, and I suspect you never will, give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, who knows who you will be in 30 or 40 years? Happy Friday! :)
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Are you one of my kids? Seriously, people are usually on their best behavior while dating. My ex was quite charming while we were dating and for a while after we married. Then his true self started coming out. By that time it was too late. I had kids and tried to make it work. We all ended up being happier, though, after we divorced. Well, the kids and I did, he remained the miserable ass he had become.
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Because they probably were not like that in the beginning. Lots of stresors and daily minutia build up and some dudes just implode internally and blame everyone. Maybe he's depressed. Depression comes in many forms.
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It's probably hard to imagine, but he was once your age, with the same feelings and emotions...and quite possibly the same thoughts about his dad. You'll see...
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His money?
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i liked the suggestion, "money"? people change over their lifetime. at 20, i woke up about 8 PM to get the dancing started (remember disco?). a, hmmmm, little while later, i don't have the energy to dance 10 hours in a row. nosiness is so often insecurity, although, it is nevertheless, frustrating. i try to lean into their nosiness, going on a 15 minute description of exactly what i'm going to do, with whom, where we'll be, when, why ... i provide so much detail that the nosy-body runs away from me with their hands covering their ears!!! yes, if you do it to the max, you'll buy yourself peace of mind. CAUTION - DO NOT CHOOSE AS THE TIME YOU DISCLOSE THESE DETAILS THE TIME THAT YOU GO OUT WITH K-FED OR BRITTNEY SPEARS ... as we age, sometimes, we get more caught up in our illnesses and medications and pain. so, he might've been a lot nicer back in the day. maybe, then again, he always has been a turkey. act with love, maturity, satisfying his rational needs, and you will find your life magnitudes better!
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I try not hurt my brain over figuring out what some people see in each other. It very rarely makes sense from an outside perspective, and you'll never really get an inside one. I'm sure there are people who look at my wife and I and wonder, the same way we wonder about them. If both partners are happy, that's all that matters.
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