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by LostxConfused on November 27th, 2006

LostxConfused

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How should i tell my catholic parents i am having trouble believing all of the things God did? I sort of want to change my religeon, because i just have trouble believing. I also go to a catholic school.

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Answers. 19 helpful answers below.

  • by Anonymous on November 27th, 2006

    Anonymous

    I've been in the same situation. I ended up being totally honest with my parents, and it was the best thing to do. It's not a fun conversation, but they won't hold it against you(or shouldn't). If they can't respect that, then you should realize that's their issue, not yours. As for going to a Catholic school, the best thing to do is just stick it out. I wish you luck.

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  • by Bonedry on November 27th, 2006

    Bonedry

    Wow, you are certainly going through a dilemma, and then, to try and bring an understanding to it all, while stuck there with-in ones alone thoughts.

    It especially grows even more difficult when one feels as if they can't address the concern with their parents. Sometimes our thoughts get so tightly bound up with something, we have a tendency to allow those thoughts to become greater and greater, and as we do, well we begin to get a bit frightened about becoming just so lost in trying to decide what the correct thing to do is.

    I am a non-denominational, spiritual Christian, which is a fancy, long term definition for one that doesn't have to belong to believe. Now, I was raised just the opposite of you, in that my Father was a devout atheist, and anyone to whom thought differently was just an idiot, and nothing religious was to be practiced in his house! well, if one truly has faith in their desire to have a relationship with their higher power, they don't have to be anything but what they are. Meaning that I have in the past gone to a Catholic Church, and gone to a Baptist Church, a Lutheran, I have been to a synagogue, and many more.

    You see, my relationship comes in the form of a personal one, where I have the understanding into those things that are important, like living a moral life, and to help, and do good things in the works I involve myself in for those around me. So, I guess what am saying is, that if I came from a Catholic family, or an Atheist family, what I believe is my own business, and my relationship unto it as well, as it isn’t the religion that I find important, it's the faith and connection I have that is, and thus I can go to any church to worship, and do so comfortably knowing I am there for god, and no one else.

    So, I think that maybe one could satisfy the situation by accepting those things they understand and believe fully, thus giving an unclouded and unfettered devotion as opposed to one that is instilled by others. In such, even though you go to a Catholic Church you wouldn’t have to tell anyone of your reformed beliefs, and it's not being a hypocrite as you aren't trying to deceive anyone, but rather empower your faith to be a better believer in those things that your higher power will surely understand. meaning that you haven't strayed, and that you have a better faith that’s proper to you, as well as unto them, and will appreciate the love you have for your parents in not wishing to hurt them due to your love for him.

    Religion is of us in the flesh doing the best of what we can to understand as a group how to worship, and spiritualism is the understanding that to worship him, all one needs is to do so completely in those things you can believe of him. It’s not the stories, nor the acts performed by him he want’s you to believe, it’s only him and his teachings that are important. He docent care about what ritual a group of us performs to bring our love unto him, only and just that we do, and for us to do it for him the best way we know how.

    So empower yourself with that which brings you to him in the closest possible way, as he doesn’t want you to come to him because of what you cant accept, but rather for only those things that you truly can, and that is true faith, in accepting him and giving love unto him even with some doubt, and not for how many times one can kneel and cross themselves, or force oneself to believe something just for the sake in believing it, instead of bringing completely those things you believe 100%.

    Come unto him with that which is truthful and real, and unto you will come the same from him, no matter which title hangs above the door you sent it from. I wish you the best, and peace as well.

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  • by Anonymous on November 27th, 2006

    Anonymous

    What other religion are you thinking of?

    I go to church every Sunday with my mom and I go to a catholic school as well. But I don't believe everything in the bible, either. My mom knows this. I think she thinks it's a bit "wrong" and that I should try to believe, but she doesn't hold it against me. Because I think belonging to a religion or being atheist doesn't determine whether you're a good person or not. If you're doubting that God really did what the bible claims he did then you're (probably) agnostic (An agnostic does not deny the existence of God and heaven but holds that one cannot know for certain whether or not they exist.) And I remember in my Religion/Theology class last year that agnostics can still participate in the practices.

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  • by bruceytom on July 7th, 2007

    bruceytom

    You've gotten advice to be honest, respectful and sympathetic to your parents, which i agree with wholeheartedly. If they are shocked, upset or excited about it, it will help to stay calm and let the emotion subside a little.

    I greatly urge you to ask them specifically why they believe as they do. They no doubt love you and want to help. Try having rational discussions with them and other knowledgeable people.

    If they have satisfying answers, consider them carefully. Unsatisfying answers may include: That's the way we were raised. Just have faith. Some things we just can't understand.

    I strongly believe that the Bible is true and that we can know the truth. This is not because i just want to believe or because i was raised with it. I did a thorough search and asked many people many hard questions. I was 12 and 13 years old when i did this. Really, i have never stopped asking for explanations. The truth is generally explainable and reasonable.
    You can understand God and the Bible as well as priests, nuns, bishops, catechism teachers and others.

    If you keep hunting for reliable answers, you will find them. Especially, it will help you to ask God himself to you. If you call hime by his name, Jehovah or Yahweh (the form used in the Catholic Jerusalem Bible), he will answer you, maybe in ways you don't expect. Best wishes on your quest.

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  • by The_Professional on December 28th, 2006

    The_Professional

    Have a little sympathy for your parents if you do tell them. Most seriously religious people are like that because they are scared themselves.

    I've been an atheist type (I keep it a little more complicated then that) for awhile. It takes a certain stubborness to keep that up, so many community functions lose their meaning. It is a very solitary belief system, even if it is the right one.

    I have a friend that changed his religion every time he met a new girl. I can't say that I ever understood switching beliefs like that (he went from Jehovah witness to catholic to baptist) and then being a true believer in the last one he married.


    When your young - the best thing you can do is try to just put up with everyone else, with a little sympathy. Most people don't change very easily, if ever.

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  • by The Account Formerly Known As Peyton on November 27th, 2006

    The Account Formerly Known As Peyton

    Well, my parents are very flexible, and they are Christian. I have been atheist for about over a year now (I never really cared before).

    I kinda held off on telling them until a couple of months ago. They were not too shocked and were not mad at me at all.

    And THEN, I became a Satanist, which involves atheism. They still don't really care.

    So just do it on your own time, or just wait till they ask you. Or maybe just wait until next Sunday so you don't have to go to church ;)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satanism

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  • by Aldebaran on January 24th, 2009

    Aldebaran

    Just tell them.

    My guess is that you are under-Catechized. Hopefully, your parents are not, but if they were brought up in the United States after 1960 chances are they were. My point is that you may have to help yourself.

    Before you chuck the True Faith, consider the fact that maybe you have not been taught it sufficiently. Try learning more about the Catholic religion. Try watching Fr. Corapi or "Life is Worth Living" on EWTN.

    The difference between the moral teaching of the Catholic Church and every other Christian religion is the difference between day and night. Every other Christian religion has contradicted their moral teaching, particularly about re-marriage after divorce, abortion, embryonic stem cell research (a.k.a. human experimentation) and artificial contraception. This is one way that you can be sure that the Catholic Church is THE Church that Christ established in Matt 16.

    Other books to read are the old "Radio Replies" series by Fr. Rumble and Fr. Carty. Good apologetics books will allow you to see the beauty and truth of the Catholic faith.

    If there is any question I can answer for you, my email is city.abq@gmail.com.

    Dominus Vobiscum

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  • by Robertd903 on January 23rd, 2009

    Robertd903

    Why not? What are they going to do--send you away to Catholic school? (That's a joke, my daughter!)

    They may be disappointed at first--but they'll get over it. If not, that's THEIR problem!

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  • by Nightwatchdog on January 23rd, 2009

    Nightwatchdog

    Level with them. Tell them you aren't buying into all this religious hokum they are shoving on to you. What you choose to believe or not to believe when it comes to religion is your personal business and none of theirs.

    Really - either confront them now on this subject or be prepaired to live the life of an unhappy hypocrite.

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  • by tinybubbles is sitting on the carpet read on November 27th, 2006

    tinybubbles is sitting on the carpet read

    just be honest with your parents tell them how you feel, they will hopefully understand your feelings.

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  • by a.c.i.d on January 24th, 2009

    a.c.i.d

    Well the catholic religion is a bit more complicated than other Christian faiths. It should be as simple as Jesus died on the cross for you. The Jews are God's chosen people. Etc. But that’s denominational dogma. I assure you though that everything Jesus says is true.

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  • by Anonymous on December 29th, 2007

    Anonymous

    Did you ever talk to your parish priest about your feelings? Consider this, God created you, but he used your parents to be your angel or protector. God is the one who gave you your talents and everything in you. My dear, you may not realized it, but God is the one who is running everything in this world. Changing religion is not the answer, because, all religions serve one God, we just practice it in a different way.

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  • by unknown on July 7th, 2007

    unknown

    The best thing to do is to be honest with them. I had to tell my Catholic parents that I was no longer Catholic but Assembly of God. They were upset; but, I couldn't just pretend to Catholic. I didn't believe most of what the Catholic church taught.

    I had stopped believeing in God completely for years. That didn't seem to bother them as much my becoming an AG. They got over it and we just agree to disagree for now. They even expect me to go to my church and will comment if I miss going. They have seen the change in me and I think they realize that what I have now is right for me.

    If what you decide makes you a better person they will see that in you too and will come to accept it, eventually. The proof will be in the pudding, as the saying goes.

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  • by autumn leaves on February 11th, 2012

    autumn leaves

    you are right to question your beliefs. you need to make sure that these are based on what the Bible says and not according to man made traditions. you may be surprised that when you start looking for answers you will find out that most of the doctrines of the rcc are not based on what the Bible says. there is much for you to learn. the Bible has much to offer, there is much to learn! it is a book that not only will guide you now, but offers a sure hope for the future. (2timothy 3:16,17; titus 1:2)

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  • by Mephistopheles on January 24th, 2009

    Mephistopheles

    You should become a Baptist or a Muslim. If you think that what Catholicism tells you is unbelievable, wait till you hear what those have to say!

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  • by Anonymous on January 24th, 2009

    Anonymous

    I had the same dilemma, and I just waited until college to change my religion. I didn't directly announce the change, but I'm not going to church or anything like that. Telling your parents outright will only make them angrier if they are very rabidly religious. Then again, some Catholics are very open-minded, so you just have to judge what you want to do based on how upset you think they'll be. But I found it was easier to make life decisions once I was out on my own and not relying on the parents for everything. That really constrains your choices because they can blackmail you with the "I put a roof over your head" sob speeches.

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  • by CatholicWoman on July 7th, 2010

    CatholicWoman

    I agree with all the other replies, just tell them. Be honest. Chances are the doubts and questions you have are ones that they have heard before. We all have doubts and questions no matter what belief system we are brought up with. Talk to them, tell them specifically what your doubts and questions are. If there is a priest or someone in your church or school that you trust and like, ask to set an appointment to speak to them. Don't be afraid to tell a priest why you are doubting, they have heard it before, you are not the first nor the last with questions.
    Tell your parents if you want to explore other religions or schools, but respect thier wishes and decisions while living in thier home.

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  • by ICU says April is Autism Awareness Mo. on January 24th, 2009

    ICU says April is Autism Awareness Mo.

    I am a Christian and do believe in God. It is by faith. I do not know what the catholic church teaches per se, but I do believe God is capable of anything! There are things we dont understand, but God tell us to seek and we will find Him, knock and it shall be open to us. Good Luck in your spiritual search for answers.

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  • by Leah on June 18th, 2009

    Leah

    This is why I do not like Catholic schools, they tell you one thing and you go to a Catolic church on Sunday and told something else.
    I am Catholic and I had problems with what the Catholic School told me then I switch over to public school and want to my sunday school classes. They are much more understandable and answer questions better. I also heard what other faiths belive and I was able to deceid to continue being Catholic becase I disageed with the other religeons (since Catholics schools only give Catholic teachings you are not given the chance to agree or disagree with other faiths)
    If you want my advise aske to swich schools, and then question.

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