ANSWERS: 30
  • I'm deeply sorry to hear that. You may have made a mistake, but you will get over it eventually. I won't comment on your boyfriend's decision, but if it makes you feal any better...I believe the soul of an abortion child will carry onto your next baby. A child of your own is your decision, but it sounds to me like you want one, and will eventually have one.
  • My heart breaks for you. Your boyfriend should be ashamed of himself, and I think that you would be better off without him. You have made what you felt to be the right decision under the circumstances, and now realise that it may not have been. Of course, you cannot go back, so you must look forwards to your life. You don't say how old you are; quite young, I would guess. There is time to find peace with yourself, and time also for a new beginning.
  • Wow! I can't imagine the pain you are feeling now. I am truly sorry and I know that any words said here won't be enough to help. I have two words of advice, and I'm not sure how well received they will be. First, please don't take your life. If you feel that your abortion was a mistake, then committing suicide wouldn't do anything to fix that. Remember, just as you care for your baby, there are others that care for you, and losing you would cause them the same pain you are experiencing now. Instead, go to those people that do care for you (such as family, if you have any) and allow them to give you some support to help you through this. Second, I highly suggest that you seek some form of counseling, and try and talk to a pastor or someone that you trust and know will support you. Please don't try to deal with your anger and depression by yourself, none of us are that strong.
  • There is a crisis pregnancy center near you. They want more than anything to help you get through the next 24 hours, and the day after that, and to put your life back together. My own daughter died very young, not through abortion, and I talked to her for a long time after that.
  • You must be strong. The important thing is you should forgive yourself, because God will forgive you. The best you can do now for your baby is to testify about your experience and the evil of abortion for the many women living this situation. You could be alight for them. Your baby is surely enjoying now the presence of God, and I'm sure she will "appreciate" that her death wasn't for nothing. You're in my prayers. Best wishes and kisses from a catholic spaniard.
  • Please hold on. I feel for you.
  • God bless you and your angel child, and may He have mercy on your very selfish boyfriend. Please get some help for yourself as soon as possible. And when you are strong enough, please consider finding someone who will not put you in such a dilemma. Edit: I just noticed that the original question was asked in November. Lareina, if you still use Answerbag and see this, please let me know you are okay.
  • You have been through a very traumatic time and i feel for you. As for your boyfriend,mmm, i am not surprised you feel the way you do. I do suggest you get medical help and see a counseller, particularly since you are feeling depressed,
  • I only have one comment and you are not going to like it. You put your boyfriend first, over your unborn baby. it's all about me. Shame on you.
  • I think you need to find another boyfriend, he sounds pretty selfish to me. I am sorry for your pain.
  • Sweetheart, you have the right to be sad and angry. Please talk to someone compassionate and understanding. I know you believe it is wrong to abort a baby. I may agree with you, but there is forgiveness and grace and your child is now safe. It is important for you to keep living and accept the grace, mercy, forgiveness, and joy that God wants you to have. He loves you so much. He also loves your baby and is caring for her. I am concerned that this boyfriend has so much power over you. You do not need to be pushed around that way. You are too valuable to be bullied - especially into doing something that you did not want to do or believe in doing. Whatever i think of abortion, I will not stand in condemantion over you. You are doing that well enough for yourself. It is time for healing. There are some counselors and support groups that can help you. Take care of yourself. You are God's little girl too.
  • The feeling that youre feeling is deep regret. A lot of women who have an abortion end up feeling like this. I personally think you made the wrong decision about doing it for your boyfriend. It would have been hard raising a kid without him, but you could have made it. I actually disagree with all abortion, no matter what te cause,...but I have no right to stone you. My girlfriend had an abortion when she was 15. I was for it. And even though I know life is easier without A child, I cant help but hate myself for trying to talk her into it. You will have other chances to have kids. Just make sure theyre at the right time, and with someone that loves you enough to support your every decision. Im deeply sorry for the way you are feeling right now. I hope this or something that someone else has said helps out at this time.
  • I can't make your remorse go away just like I can't make my own remorse go away. I can only pronounce to you entire forgivness of all your sins through believing in Christ. I think you need to rid yourself of your boyfriend for good. Secondly I think you need to take some time out and get together with God. Find a church with a good approachable pastor and talk with him. He can help you. Then I would recommend reforming yourself, starting with not having sex again until you are married. I assure you that if you follow God's path things may be tougher but it will be better for you in the end. I wish I could be there for you to talk with you honey. Find someone to talk to. May God bless you and keep you. May he make his face shine upon you and be gracious onto you. May he look upon you with favor and give you peace. . . from this day forward. And all God's people say "Amen"
  • I'm a man - and I have had a different type of life in some ways. Internally I had a few birth defects (my organs a little messed up) externally (although still internally) I had allergies and asthma. From the outside as an adult I am a smart tall handsome muscular man - no problems. When younger, before I had a vesectomy, I had a couple of "close calls." I would of talked my mate into an abortion no matter what. Here is the thing - if your serious about your question - for some of us - no matter what apperances we have - we can't allow life the way we knew it to continue. My offspring would suffer more then the joy in life would of offset. I'm sure you feel guilty, and its hard - but really - if your boyfriend was against it maybe possibly it was meant that way.
  • Abortion is a hard choice, And I know how it feels to lose a baby you really want. I had a Miscarriage . I cried and cried. When i told my boyfriend about it , He acted like he didn't really care. And i think thats what hurt me the most. Some other questions are, How old are you? Do you have a steady job? Does your boyfriend? Maybe he thought abortion was best. I understand how your feeling. Nothing hurts worse than a mom losing her baby. Being pregnant is an indescribable feeling.
  • My friend just was in the same situation a year ago, I understand that you are in a lot of pain but It will get better. Stay strong !
  • I am very sorry for your loss, your boyfriend should have handled things better. However I do not know the full circumstances so I cannot really judge the situation very well. I will say that before the cut off point of most western countries' abortion laws, foetuses have 1 in 3 chance of terminating naturally. It is a tricky business, pregnancy, so there is nothing to say that you might have lost it anyway.
  • i am not for abortion, but i will offer advice. I would cheack out your local pregnancy center for counceling. they should offer counciling.
  • Former U.S. surgeon general C. Everett Koop observed that no one had done “a study on the emotional reaction or the guilt of the woman who has had an abortion and now desperately wants a baby that she cannot have.” I Can offer this answer: There is no undoing what has been done. Hung mum or dad for support. You will become refind from this experiance.
  • Sorry, dump the creep and move on.
  • im not trying to make excuses for what i did, i have to live with it everyday, and half of you dont know what that will ever be like,im 24 years old he was 35, i did not want my child to have the life i had, yea her father had money but i did not, and there was a chirstmas i had nowhere to live with my family, i thought about my past and i did not want that for my child, im not some kind of floozy, he is the first and only man i have ever been with. ive left him, im just trying to deal with this pain on my own there is no one to talk to and i thought i could get some help form people who have been here. i dont need anyone here to tell me what ive done. believe me i know, im out of the hospital now and i dont plan to ever go back there i just want to be able to deal with this. please stop judging me. i would give my life to stop any woman from killing her unborn child, god knows thats the truth
  • im sorry for your loss. i had a misscarriage about a year ago and am no stanger to the "i want to die thoughts" but dieing isnt going to solve anything, in fact that is kinda like quiting giving up. and that dont work for me but thats beside the point. personaly i would leave the guy now. cuz if he would make you choose between him and a his child he aint worth it. and as for missing your child i know that feeling but it never goes away you always wonder what they might have looked like what you would have named then what they would acted like. oh yes its not easy but once you make your pease with the reason you dont have the child then you can make pease wit not having the child. i hope that helped you computer wont let me comment i didnt loose mine naturally. me ex was abusive.
  • It's normal to be depressed after an abortion. Do you get counselling, if not, that's one suck-ass abortion-clinic. It will fade of.
  • I had that done back in 2000. It was the worst thing I have ever been threw. No body tells you the mental break down that happens or the nightmares that come from that. Over time you do come to accept it, but it is something that you will never forget. What help me was I join a online support group and wrote in a journal and I even wrote that baby a letter every day for two years. Now when I get down I take out that little journal and write my feeling and thoughts for that day..
  • I'm so sorry for your pain. We can not undo the mistakes we make. But we can go on from where we are. God foregives and now you must foregive yourself. Your boyfriends type of love is a selfish kind you don't need that. There is something to be gained from all of this however, someday when you are feeling stronger, perhaps with counsiling, maybe you can turn this tradgidy into something meaningful by educating others. Your pain could be a real example to other girls who are putting themselvess in a position to go through this same painful experience. There is much you have to offer. God Bless
  • I hope to God you have left this jerk by now. He is half the reason you are feeling so depressed. I know everyone says it but you will have better days. You will always miss your baby but so your mother will also miss you. Think of how she would feel if she lost you. You will have more children one one day you will think 'how could I have ever wished i was dead' I had a miscarriage and to this day I still wonder what he or she would have looked like but I now have 3 beautiful girls that I love with all my heart. Keep hanging in there and know that there are many many people that are willing to listen if you ever want to talk.
  • I am too also so sorry...for I know your suffering. I was 18, senior in hs, when my boyfriend and I made that very same choice. I have suffered painfully as well since then, and am now 31. I can't say that you will feel better later or in time since for me the pain seems to get worse as time passes. I have been told to forgive myself and move on with life. I have been in counseling since 2002 so 6 yrs now, have been on numerous antidepressants, currently am not medicated because am trying to get pregnant with a second child, I have a beautiful 18 month old feel very blessed to have. I agree with a former commentor this will make you stronger as a person, and can help others going through similar dilemmna to make an educated decision. And that his soul passes to your next born, waiting to come back to you, as I see it thru my son. I was failed in so many ways, I go back so many times seeing all the ways this could have been prevented. No one is harder on us than ourselves, you torment yourself more than we would wish upon our worst enemy. What I can say is to grieve, go through the motions, cry, get it out, don't shut out the feelings, if you do, it will only haunt you later, and be ten times worse because you never processed it thoroughly, like any loss in life. They are true feelings, and its okay...to cry. I dedicate this song, "Through the rain" by Mariah Carey to you, it helps me when I get really sad. Good luck, keep hope
  • You are suffering from a form of hormonal depression because of the loss of your baby. It will pass. I went through the exact same thing with my first husband. I cried and cried, but I made an appointment to have an abortion....I ended up miscarrying the day of my abortion. I felt the same way you did. God allowed this to happen for a reason....but rest assured that your baby is in Heaven, just like mine is.
  • YOU and no one else made the decesion to kill your child in order to keep this low life of a boyfriend .... You are suffering from GUILT over the slaughter of your baby girl ... You need to go to professional counseling to help relieve your guilt so you can once again function normally in the world ...
  • Damn i know that no words are goin to make you feel any better but honestly i dont think you should stay with that boyfriend because he's not alway going to be there for you as you can probably tell. Does he even care about how bad you feel? I almost had an abortion because by boyfriend told me the same thing but i decided to keep by baby girl. He did break up with me but then he came back to me. If i were in your place i would end my relationship with him. And you should go to a close friend or relative and let your feelings out. Maybe you might not want to put its good to let your feelings out and cry on someones shoulder.

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