ANSWERS: 100
  • I think it's amazing that you let him get away with this. No offense.
  • I think he is either married or hiding something from you, like 10 kids??
  • He is living with a girl, maybe a girlfriend or wife or he is major slob and is embarassed. Im sorry but, I would have a major issue on why he wouldnt let me see his house, why are you asking us, you should be asking him.
  • Something isn't right. Question the relationship. Even if he was an absolute slob I still wouldn't see that as a valid reason not to allow you near his home. This needs to get figured out soon.
  • That he's hiding something or someone
  • He's married and you are the "other woman". Leave him before you get hurt
  • He's being deceptive. You deserve some answers.
  • Something is not Kosher. I'd love to know what it is!
  • I think you already know the answer to that, like the other person that answered you back, I think he does have. a wife or a girlfriend. Time to move on. TRUST is so important.
  • Married.
  • is he married?
  • Hmm, he must be really messy or be embarrassed about his furniture or something. Maybe he collects unicorns like the chick in Dodgeball?? :D
  • He might be married. That sounds suspicious.
  • I think he's married
  • it seems he mabe living a double life after a year he should of at least told you were he lives his obviously got another girl or wife and mabe kids at his house
  • Something smells. That would make me very suspicious. A home tells so much about someone and I would want to share it with someone so they would know what I am. He's hiding something. Whether it's a woman, a mom, a child, dirty habits, something.
  • well he either is living in a bad situation and doesnt want you to feel bad for him, or maybe he has a girl roommate and doesnt want you to get jealous, or maybe he lives with his mom.. you could ask him. or have you??
  • Cheater. I should know, I was one (RECOVERING, thank you, so please don't kill me). Girls often wondered why I wouldn't have them over to my apartment. It was because I was afraid the other girl (or at some points, girlS) would call or stop by. If you don't believe me, stop by his house unexpectedly some night. Sorry, but you know the saying, it takes a thief to catch a thief. I was a chronic cheater, and I'm telling you, this guy is a cheater. Sorry.
  • He's either a player and you are one of his f**k buddies or his house is disgusting and is embarrased. Only you know which one it is. I'm sorry if it is either. Good luck
  • you should find out where he lives and randomly show up one day LOL
  • He could be married. Or he could be ashamed of you. Or he could be ashamed of where he lives. lol
  • My friends ex-boyfriend did that to her, he was married.
  • Married or too poor ... leave him
  • lives with mommy and daddy? or even grammy?
  • Sounds like you are dating my ex! We dated for 2 years. Nearly every night was spent at my house, but on weekends he would disappear and turn off his phone. Monday morning would roll around, and there he'd be. In the first month of our relationship I met his parents (for about 5 min in passing), and went to a baseball game with him and his brother. He introduced me to everyone he worked with, etc. Then it all sort of fell apart. I had no idea why he was constantly ditching me to go out with his brother on weekends, why he'd disappear during his vacations, etc. My friends and I came to the conclusion that he was married or living with a female. I confronted him on this and he finally gave me directions to his house. Big, beautiful house I must say. Ok furnishings, not your average bachelor pad. I stayed over twice before he moved out of that house and into an apartment he shared with his brother. 18 months into our relationship he decided I could come to his apartment. He had invited his parents over also...come to find out from his mother that they had NO idea he even had a girlfriend. His mom immediately recongized me as the girl he had brought over 18 months beforehand. He had apparently led them to believe that I was a one-timer. I wondered if they ever noticed that he was never home on weeknights. (They lived next door to him.) They were pissed that he had lied to them. Even more pissed when they found out we were engaged and he hadn't told them. Nope, not married. No female roommates. The real deal was even more idiotic. I guess when I met his brother, his brother didn't think I was his "type". I am a 5'8 125lb brunette. At the time I was 28 years old. He and his brother are both on the shorter side, and both have a thing for blondes. His brother had convinced him that he "deserved" a 5foot-nothing 18-21 year old blonde with large breasts. Convinced him so well that he was ashamed of me for not being what his brother wanted me to be. Apparently his brother had been fixing him up with the local neighborhood sl*ts, and they often visited their apartment. Bottom line is this trashbag didn't want to get caught. Fast forward a few years, and both of us have married other people. I married a guy that cares more for my wellbeing than about the color of my hair. You guessed it, he married a 5foot-nothing (bottle) blonde. I guess I'll feel sorry for her when his brother deems her "too old" or "too flat chested"- then it's on to the next neighborhood nasty. Good Riddance!
  • your question should be, what is he hiding from you? could it be another girl? that's not normal. just show up at his house and invite yourself in. if he has a problem with that dump him quickly.
  • Maybe some chick boiled his rabbit and now he's scared s**tless. ;)
  • Your boyfriend cheats on you and does not want you to run into the other women. He may tell all the women he deals with not to ever come by his house at any rate he is definately cheating on you.
  • He's embarrased about something.I would push the issue!!!Tell him why you're concerned!!And why it's important to you!!!!
  • Been there, done that. He is either a hoarder...has a wife...has a girlfriend... - I put up with this garbage (excuse the pun) for a long time. To have a mutually acceptable relationship, one person should not have to be the "host" whenever the two get together. His place was always off the table for discussion, and I saw him quite a bit, weekends, during the week, all holidays, etc. Finally could not deal with being the "host", and it came down to the end. My ultimatum was "Clean your house, invite me over, be a mutual partner, THEN we can talk", but until then, it is OVER and my place is OUT. So, it's been awhile now. He ain't clammoring the phone line to invite me over. So, I presume it is one of the reasons above. Hoarder, married (which I doubt), cheater, or he is hiding a porn thing or something. Who knows? And frankly, who needs that? NEXT!
  • he's a pimp
  • Just follow him home sometime.
  • he is married or has someone else. a year is a very long time to not know where your man lives
  • I agree with the first answer. He's probably hiding something, most likely a wife/girlfriend. Or he's embarassed about where he lives. The fact that you've been together for a year, though, says it's something more than just a messy house. Whatever your worst feeling is regarding the situation, that's probably what it is. Trust your intuition. It's right.
  • Major red flag.
  • Been there done that, My ex wouldnt take me home when we were together simply becuase he didnt want his mommy to know about me so she wouldnt tell his other girl or have her show up!! Dump that fool girl!
  • maybe he's homeless
  • I am in a similar situation, and am now in a mexican stand off about the issue I think its strange if a guy wont invite you over if he lives alone, however I have come to the conclusion that if he lives with flatmates, in the case of my guy, it means that he has to introduce you and acknowledge what you are to him - ie fwb/ girlfriend./ friend. Its confronting for a guy with commitment issues.
  • he is hiding something without a doubt!
  • he obviously is hiding something. i would do some investigating. but don't make it obvious you know. he will act differently.
  • I think you must be the most patient, least nosey person I have ever heard of.
  • Youre probably not his only women.
  • Thats very suspicious. he either has a wife and kids or he's just homeless (lol)
  • well... i'm not a boy, nor hav a had a relationship that's lasted past a year...but i have had friends who i've known for many years and they have never been into my house for the plain reason that my parents do not allow visitors into my house - this may be a possible reason...or it could be any number of personal reasons or family embarrassment... it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you.
  • I think his wife isn't all that open-minded as it turns out...
  • Either hes married or has a girlfriend or he is embarrased because he still lives with his mother
  • How old are the two of you? Is he even allowed to date? I don't want to be an idiot and jump to rash conclusions. My boyfriend never comes to my house and we've been together for more than a year and a half. The reason? I'm not allowed to date. If he came over, he'd probably get yelled at. Our relationship would be too stressful and hard to continue. I learned my lesson from the last time my dad found out I had a boyfriend. I got kicked out of my house temporarily. I also received lectures and yelling. It was terrible. I definitely don't want to risk that happening again.
  • does he tell you why you cant go over there?
  • Maybe his house isn't as nice as yours and hes embarrased.
  • cheating,married, drugs, SOMETHING hes ashamed of
  • I think that your expectations must be very low, and that your tolerance of his secrets are very high. Love yourself and cut him loose.
  • Married
  • Maybe he don't think he lives good enough, and seen where you live. And think he's not worthy you.
  • Odd yo...
  • Is he spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with you? If you don't see him all the time, then I would start to suspect he had a wife or gf stashed in his apartment.
  • Homeless? ala one of Elaine Beness's boyfriends on Seinfeld? I agree with the others, the same thoughts came to my mind as well. He's hiding something. It could be he's ashamed of his living conditions but I'm more inclined to guess there is someone living there with him who he has to answer to. Someone who he doesn't want you to meet or for them to meet you. I suggest you drop in on him. See who comes to the door. You could go to return something you found and thought was his. If you're wanting to protect him but still find out who/what is there (and hopefully shake him up if he is there when you go), show up at the door and ask if you can "see inside the house" your "family built years ago!"
  • I think that this situation is crazy! Why won't he let you see his house after a year of being together? Talk to him about it...it could always be that his apartment is just trashed. He may be living with a girl, but before jumping to conclusions i think you need to talk to him about how you feel.
  • he's got someone else going on run now run fast, do not give love to undeserving men.
  • he doesn't feel full comftable with you so he doesn't want to take you at his place, is definitely something wrong
  • It sounds like he's hiding somthing or maybe he's embarrassed about something wow either way thats alittle off
  • hes hiding something
  • he is really a hobo maybe??????
  • He's either married or living with someone else.
  • my ex did the same. i was with him 2 years, met his parents, his sister his aunties uncles cousins friends. never once went round his house. turns out he had a full blown other girlfriend who he lived with. 2 years this joker was playing us both and getting everyone to lie for him! dont waste any more time pleeease! get round that house by yourself and do a bit of surveillance if you have to =D just dont let it carry on any longer! x
  • him and his dog live under a bridge probably.
  • Maybe his wife doesn't like company.
  • he might be embarrassed about where he is living
  • he could be ashame of his home or his family.
  • I think you're dumb for letting it go for so long. If that's the kind of relationship you really want to have, I can only imagine what the future holds for you. You are the one feeling the pain in the relationship just because you allow yourself to be mistreated. You said it was a devastating feeling. I think you have some major issues that THIS is the best relationship you are worthy of. I hope you come to find the strength you need to confront the issue. I don't have much hope for it, but I still hope it happens.
  • maybe he is embaressed about his parents and scared that they may scare you off if this is the case then you know he cares about you
  • there is something hes hiding and after a year i would want to know but saying that it could be something minor it dosent mean he has a wife or kids ,when i was first seeing my partner i avoided at all costs for him to see were i was living ,as he lived in a really nice posh house and my parents lived in a council house with no carpets and dogs that used to pee on the floors , i didnt want him to see were i was living i was so ashamed but in time (it was just over a year)i trusted him to not blame me for the way my parents lived ,i used to clean up the best i could and when we did move in together he knew i was not like that ,talk to him you may be surprised .
  • I'm curious what ever happened with this? I was in a similar situation only we had only been together a short time. The final straw was when he went out of town unexpectedly and promised to call when he got to his destination, but I didn't hear from him for 2 days, when we always communicated on a daily basis. I never found out what it was but I am still sure to this day that he was hiding something. We all deserve someone that will include us in their lives completely. If he was ashamed of something, he should have the guts to talk with you about it. Over a year??? You should try talking to him and if that doesn't work, give him the boot! Nothing hurts worse then thinking you really know someone to find out you really never knew them at all.
  • 14months into my our relationship.... and i still dont know where MY boyfriend lives. He wont take me there. Says he's too embarressed- its a dump. Ive had it. Im over asking. I cant take it anymore!!!!!! I know how you feel. I love the guy- but i have NO PATIENCE LEFT! and too much respect for myself to let this continue.
  • Maybe he's married.
  • ive been in a relationship for 14 months. we're both in our 40's. he's not married. i have met his parents. I still dont know where he lives. He says he's embarrassed cause its a dump. I have lost my patience! im sick of asking and him saying "one day". over it- had it. He comes to my house and never brings anything with him... Love the guy but had enough. I know how you feel Karina.
  • hes is so cheatin prolly has a wife ur stupid for puttin up with all that..
  • he maybe want to take things slowly it is not always what people think. It could be he is living with his mother or friends and dont want anybody to know. He could be saving to move either way it go soon you will know the truth and you can go from there.
  • This may mean lots of things...he could be embarassed of his house or maybe he is hiding something from you.
  • I have read all of these 78 answers. Here is my penny to you.. if you believe that (a) he is a good person then he is shamed of this house and his living compared to yours. (b) he is not a good person, then he has a wife/girlfriend living with him. You are the only best person to answer your question. Just curious, if you would have the answer either (a) or (b), what would be your next step then ?
  • well...that right there should let you know...either he's hiding something OR he might just be embarassed of where he lives...maybe he still lives at home with mom & dad
  • He's probably embarassed about his place. But it shouldn't matter what his place is like to you.
  • Yep, he's married
  • I would think that you probably shouldn't have carried on a relationship for this long without at least knowing where he lives. He is probably hiding something, or has something he doesn't want you to see or know about. If he cannot share his home with you, even for a visit, you probably shouldn't share your life with him. Even if things are on the up-and-up and he just doesn't like anyone to know where he lives, there are some psychological problems that need addressing, soon.
  • mine wont either. i'm so frustrated right now! My guy wont even stay the night at my place. He'll stay until 3 or come over at 7, but in between those hours, I get no play. I have never had this experience and we've only dated 5 months, so I don't want to trip for no reason. I just cant help feeling like I'm out of the loop. I've asked him so many times, but he'll have some excuse. Forget it, I guess. I wanna be with someone who shares their world with me.
  • this sounds all to familar.
  • lol he prolly lives with his mum
  • Strange. Just plain strange.You need to find out, because he could be messing around.
  • how do you know he is not married if hte man wont let you come over... you think his parents and friends are going to bust him out they are his friends and fam and they owe you nothing... how many times do you see people on here saying all sorts of sorted things about how they are never home with their spouse... you are the mistress... or he really just wants you as a "friend" and not a partner... wake up!!!! and loose him!
  • sOMETHING IS WRONG AT HIS HOUSE MYBE THATS WHY HE DONT WAT YOU TO GO THEIR.YOU SHOULD PLAY ALONG DONT LET HIM COME OVER YOUR HOUSE TELL HIM WHEN HIM HE NEEDS TO GET HIS ACT TOGETHER............
  • He is either embarrassed of where he lives (which I would hope that wouldn't matter to you) or he has someone living with him that he doesn't want you to know about.
  • I was in the SAME situation. He's definitely hiding something from you. A girlfriend, wife... my ex was hiding a baby's mother and child. :-( He's not being honest with you.
  • It's weird that he won't let you visit. He may be embarrassed by it or he isn't very tidy. Hopefully it's just that and not that he's hiding something big from you.
  • has a live in girlfriend or is ashammed of where he live
  • have you told him why can't i visit you house and what i think about that well there's something in his house he is afraid of telling you why don't you visit his house without him knowing ?
  • I think he's married.
  • He's obviously married or living with a girlfriend. Isn't that more than obvious?
  • I would have to say he's embarrased about something,whether it's his parents or his house.I still think that he should show you where he lives
  • It means he is married. Get out now. I bet you don't have his home phone number either, right? Just a cell phone number. Honey, there are better men out there. And no one is worth sharing.
  • it could mean that he just doesn't trust you enough not to become psycho or some kind of stalker! don't read into it. you've been "dating" for a year. why have a problem now?
  • He is either married or he know the family will not approve of you or there is someone else the family has already met and approve of. the guy is playing you for some reason. He is flat out using you. I bet there is wife and kids.

Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy