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by carlsmith on November 20th, 2006

carlsmith

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Help answer this question below.

If your gay, do you know it ? as i dont find men attractive but sumtimes find myself fantasising over men, so like if your gay do you want to be, or can u be gay and not wnat to be attracted to men.

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Answers. 23 helpful answers below.

  • by Reizo_Valentine on May 31st, 2011

    Reizo_Valentine

    Asker's Pick

    Selected by the asker, carlsmith. (What's this?)

    I wasn't exactley born this way, but at the same time, when the feelings came on, it's not like I consciously said "I'm going to be gay from now on." It's a matter of whether you accept it or not. Me personally, I embrace it :) I have a beautiful girlfriend that I love deeply. Who doesn't want to be happy, no matter the sexual preference? :)

    Reizo

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  • by redcatt63 is around here somewhere...... on July 8th, 2008

    redcatt63 is around here somewhere......

    I most certainly KNOW that I'm lesbian. Growing up, I always heard people say how "bad" or "sinful" LGBT people were supposed to be, so I lived in denial for a long time. But no, there is nothing bad or sinful about it. I didn't want to be for a long time, but I finally came to accept it.
    Yes, it is normal to fantasize about the same gender, but that doesn't always mean you're gay. You could just be a bit curious...or bi.

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  • by -ashley- on January 8th, 2007

    -ashley-

    it is completely normal to have gay fantasies.

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  • by MRSHINYSHOES on September 30th, 2007

    MRSHINYSHOES

    Human beings do not fit neatly into sexual modes. Sexuality is like an elastic band. A man can be heterosexual but fantasize about other men. He can also have homosexual ideas once in awhile while remaining heterosexual to the core. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't even necessarily mean he's bisexual. Human beings are creative, complex creatures--to play with other interests is completely normal and okay.

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  • by Prunesquallor on June 1st, 2011

    Prunesquallor

    Nobody chooses their sexual orientation. However, people who are equally bisexual can express their sexuality with either men or women.

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  • by Anonymous on July 8th, 2008

    Anonymous

    Most guys are resistant to being attracted to another guy from upbringing and culture. No guy is completely hetero. Best way to decide where you are is go ahead and give some gay sex a try. Have a guy give you oral only and see if you enjoy it. Plenty of guys do. And receiving oral from a guy and enjoying it might make you bi. You might even find yourself preferring it. Still, you would likely be bi. Now, if you try giving oral, getting fuc*ed or kissing and find yourself enjoying it. Call it as it is and consider yourself gay.

    One thing unforgivable though is for a guy to present himself as straight to a girlfriend or wife, whether bi or gay. It is unfair to all concerned. So admit it and be honest.

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  • by Athrael on June 1st, 2011

    Athrael

    Gay Pheromones: [link: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2005/05/0510_050510_gayscent.html]

    "
    May 10, 2005
    A new study shows that gay men respond differently from straight men when exposed to a suspected sexual stimulus found in male sweat.

    When homosexual men smelled the odor of male sweat—more specifically, a chemical in the male hormone testosterone—their brains responded similarly to those of women."

    This is hard physical 'proof' that there is a difference, a physical difference between the gay and straight brain.

    One can't "will" the wiring of the brain, one can't "will" physical chemical reactions to chemistry as fine as scent.

    There is no 'gay gene' and there is no 'straight gene' sexual orientation is composed of other chemical factors and wiring in the brain which are physical and most likely due to chemistry that exist(ed) in mom's womb:

    Why Gays Don't Go Extinct: [link: http://www.livescience.com/2623-gays-dont-extinct.html]

    17 June 2008
    "
    Homosexuality in males may be caused in part by genes that can increase fertility in females, according to a new study.

    The findings may help solve the puzzle of why, if homosexuality is hereditary, it hasn't already disappeared from the gene pool, since gay people are less likely to reproduce than heterosexuals.

    A team of researchers found that some female relatives of gay men tend to have more children than average. The scientists used a computer model to explain how two genes passed on through the maternal line could produce this effect. "

    All evidence is pointing at a physical underlying cause for homosexuality.

    For anyone in the Industrialized world to still believe that homosexuality is a 'choice' with all the new data in the 21st century means they have willfully maintained their ignorance.

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  • by HasntBeen on May 31st, 2011

    HasntBeen

    Sounds like you haven't met very many gay people. I've never met one who claimed it was chosen, and I've met an awful lot.

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  • by Anonymous on July 8th, 2008

    Anonymous

    Plenty of gay people do indeed go through their lives hating this part of themselves. It's a shame.

    Speaking personally, I'm 31, and in my time, I've found perhaps five men attractive, as opposed to being able to see the daily standard of at least one woman I consider physically attractive. As I understand it, I'm actually less homosexually-inclined than most men; I admit to it, but it's extremely rare that it's an issue for me.

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  • by Vashtar on April 28th, 2007

    Vashtar

    Many straight men have something gay pop into their heads every once in a while. It doesn't necessarily mean you actually want to have gay sex.

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  • by gerrik on November 23rd, 2006

    gerrik

    no nothing wrong with fantasising i can say we all do it and those who say they dont are lying

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  • by More2Be on June 1st, 2011

    More2Be

    They want to have it both ways. They are always insisting they did not "choose" the way they are, yet they are always cruising around for straight boyish-looking men, when not acutal boys, and admonishing them to "try it". Infer in the slightest way that they should "try normal" and they get militantly defensive.

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  • by buxtonite ..slowly losing my mind on May 31st, 2011

    buxtonite ..slowly losing my mind

    I am 56 years old and have been Bisexual since I was 12 and in all the years since I have NEVER met anyone that has said they had chosen to be Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual and I have met hundreds and hundreds over the years and so has my lady in her life time .

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  • by wookieblu on May 31st, 2011

    wookieblu

    i choose to be straight. But haven't all ways been straight. Guess I go both ways. But I was not born this way it happen out of mistrust in men

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  • by Wide Awake @ has closing date woo hoo on March 28th, 2009

    Wide Awake @ has closing date woo hoo

    You cannot change whom you are attracted to, nor is it a "choice." This is the determining factor for orientation - the attraction.

    You always have a choice about with whom you have sex. This is NOT the determining factor for orientation.

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  • by fluffylucy on June 5th, 2011

    fluffylucy

    sexuality is fluid. don't worry about the label.

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  • by Doogie on June 1st, 2011

    Doogie

    I would have to say that your friends haven't pointed out the obvious. That they are attracted to the same sex in the same way heteros are attracted to the opposite sex. None of us have a choice with this. We all do however, have a choice to act on these urges.No one really knows where these urges of attraction sprout from nor if they are hard wired from birth. That is why all the gay people that I have met admit that they didn't choose to be turned on by the same gender.It isn't a choice.

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  • by jeremyt89 on August 26th, 2010

    jeremyt89

    You really dont have a choice in who your attracted to, but if your having trouble figuring it out try going out on a date with a guy see how you like it if it feels right or not.

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  • by sega256 on June 3rd, 2011

    sega256

    No, one does not choose to be gay.

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  • by mrmeowmeow on July 5th, 2010

    mrmeowmeow

    I don't get attracted by them but they turn me on if I see them naked i actually am gay though

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  • by daniel on May 7th, 2009

    daniel

    dude you can't choice to be gay it's just something that happens i'm bi and i didn't want to pick that but hey right now ur in denial just ascept the fact that ur probably gay or bi

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  • by Orangepowder on September 4th, 2011

    Orangepowder

    If you are not attracted to men, then you are not gay. Your actions with your sexuallity determine sexual preferences. If you physically engage in sex acts with men and women, that is considered bi-sexual. If you only have sex with men, then that is gay. If you only have sex with women, you are straight. Fantasy and experimentation are two different things.

    I have fantasized about having sex with two men, but I would never cross the line of actually doing it. Draw a line in the sand, and don't cross it.

    I am straight, and have never fantasized about having sex with a woman, not even as a part of a group.

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  • by callmecasanova on August 4th, 2009

    callmecasanova

    im gay..growing up i thought i was str8 dating many females, i dont act or talk feminine and it grosses me out. whn i was 19 i met sme friends and soon i seen myself very fond of 1. after 2 years i began feeling the wierdest feelings and figured out i was in love am 22 now, i feel like i wasted 3 years but really ive been lying to myself since my 1st date in the 6th grade

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More Questions. Additional questions in this category.

You're reading If your gay, do you know it ? as i dont find men attractive but sumtimes find myself fantasising over men, so like if your gay do you want to be, or can u be gay and not wnat to be attracted to men. - which can also be phrased in the following ways:

  • from my personal experience every gay person i met and know tells me they chose to be gaY....DO YOU CHOOSE TO BE GAY or are they born gay///

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