It's probably best not to make him feel better. The worse he feels now, the less likely he is to do it again. If you are super-nice to him, it's like rewarding him for cheating. If he gets that vibe, even on a subconscious level, then it will make cheating that much more attractive next time.

Did he wear a condom? He needs to wallow a little longer in his guilt, I think. You do not need to keep talking about it...and certainly not if he has now shifted the burden of healing on to you, which is what it sounds like. This is a wake-up call for you. You want to forgive him and good for you. But you will not ever forget...so it will take time to trust him. He must earn that back. Give the burden of healing back to him.....he needs to make amends without you making it easy.

He wasn't exactly thinking of ways to make you feel better when he was cheating on you, was he?

It sounds like some clear boundaries have to be set, if you are determined to give him ONE chance. You must be clear with yourself most of all - it is ONE chance only. Otherwise you will begin the cycle of cheat - act sorry - make up - cheat- be sorry/cry - make up, etc. These are called "dysfunctional relationships". They cost lots of money for therapists and drugs, and lots of heartache. You want to avoid having one. Forgiveness is good for you, but do NOT reward bad behavior. It sends the wrong message. As if it was harmless. As if he was forced to do it. As if he was the victim. As if YOU were at fault because he was weak. Etc. Sounds like a real manipulator. The acting "weird" is probably because he has feelings for the mother of his kids. Why doesn't he do right by them and marry her, since he is doing the other stuff with her already? Did she have a good reason to give him the boot? It says nothing good about this man, that he is out double-timing you with a woman who has kids around. I bet they were not in a hotel, either. What does that look like to those kids? Would he respect your kids any better? I encourage you to talk to a counselor who can offer you emotional support and help you set good boundaries, and be objective about what you want in a relationship. Talk to yourself - like in a journal - ask yourself "why?" and "what". * Why do you think you need this man? * Why do you think he is a good catch? * Why do you think he will be better to you than to the mother of his kids? * What will happen if you give him another baby? * Why do you think you'd know if he sleeps with her again? * What makes you believe he wasn't doing this all along? * Why is he playing off your kind heart by crying, when it was HIS choice to unzip his pants for someone else? He probably feels bad cuz he got caught, or she threatened to tell you. Bad scene. Take care of yourself girl, get some empowerment. You don't want to be treated like a disposable tissue. Let him grow up a few years. Remember you cannot "change" someone. You can only change yourself. Peace.

Why would you want to make someone who decieved you feel better??? Where is your self respect? I understand that you want to forgive him...but planning a special evening to make him feel better is rewarding him for screwing you over.