Im addicted to 2 things...sex..and porn...me and my girlfriend have been having alot of issues because of this and want to know how i can fix it?

Find something to replace it like video games or puzzles. the only cure for an addiction if you have an addictive personality is to replace it with something else. other wise, seek theripy and counsaling.

good luck!

Spirit must be above the flesh, and yes this is hard as heck no lie!

My suggestion is to attend Sexaholics Anonymous meetings and possibly look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT is VERY effective in dealing with addictions and behavioral problems.

However, before you do that, you should ask yourself: Is this causing me distress? (It sounds like it is) Is the behavior I'm engaging in deviant from the norm? Is it causing me to be dysfunctional? And am I dangerous to anyone else?

I think you're being incredibly selfish. Im an ex cocaine addict, you don't know what the word 'addiction' means.
I think you should think of your lady and not yourself.

find a girlfriend that is addicted to sex and porn...if not you have to compromise somewhere in the middle..find a way to get her involved...will she make a porn with you? If so, problem solved

go and see a counsillor. if its affecting your relationship then its affecting your life and therefore it needs to be sorted. good luck x

I gave you back your points. Trolls are out and about today. An addictive personality has a hard time quitting anything cold turkey. Please consult a therapist or a physician for the best answers to this question. It is very important that you do this! The relationship you are currently in will not be the last one that is negatively affected by this.

1) How do you know that you are *addicted* to sex and porn? Is it your own impression or is it more what your girlfriend is saying?

Maybe the source of this situation is just a difference of sex drive between you and your girlfriend. For instance, if you are both under 30 year old, at that age, the sex drive is higher by men than by women. After 40 year old, it is the opposite.

It is normal to wath some porn. Addiction is the problem. But for instance, if you want to have sex much more frequently than you girl friend, and she does not let you, you would probably use porn intensively.


2) Here you can inform yourself about sexual addiction:

"Sexual addiction refers to a phenomenon in which individuals report being unable to manage their sexual behavior. It has also been called "hypersexuality," "sexual dependency," and "sexual compulsivity." The existence of the condition is not universally accepted by sexologists, and there is debate about its etiology, nature, and validity. Proponents of the concept have offered varying descriptions, each according to their favored model of the putative phenomenon. Proponents of an addiction model of the phenomenon refer to it as "sexual addiction" and offer definitions based on substance addictions; proponents of lack-of-control models refer to it as "sexual compulsivity" and offer definitions based on obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD); etc. Skeptics believe that it is a myth that the phenomenon exists as a disease or disorder at all and is instead a by-product of cultural and other influences.

Some sexual addiction proponents have commented that the concept faces many obstacles to being viewed seriously by the general public. One of these obstacles is the manner in which it is portrayed in popular media. Daily media sources sensationalize and denigrate people who are reported to be sex addicts. This portrayal typically extends into fictional television shows and movies."

"Self-help groups such as Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous, Masturbators Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous are popular with proponents of the sexual addiction concept. These are large groups based on the 12-step system of Alcoholics Anonymous. There are various online support forums as well as real-life help through an out- or in-patient program or private counselor."
Source and further information:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_addiction


3) To help you find out if you are a sexual addict:
- "Am I a sex addict?":
http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/U/ulrika_sex_addict/index.html
- "Sexual addiction screening test":
http://www.sexhelp.com/sast.cfm
- "Sex Addict Quiz for Symptoms of Pornography Addiction: Am I A Sex Addict or Porn Addict?":
http://www.safefamilies.org/amiaddicted.php
- "Am I a Sexual Addict?":
http://www.newdirection.ca/content.xjp?id=274


4) The test above only give some clues, but they will not replace a diagnosis, which should be made by a professional.

In the case where you have a diagnosis of sexual addiction, there are various treatments, and I would at first take the more gentle options. Counseling is certainly a good thing, and your girlfriend would probably have to participate.


5) What follows concerns more the cases of strong addiction:

"If you are seeking help for sex addiction, there are a number of treatment programs available. The best-known programs in the United States include Sierra Tucson in Arizona, Tulane University’s program in New Orleans and the Menninger Clinic’s program in Topeka, Kan.

Most of these programs approach sex addiction with the same strategies that have proven effective in treating chemical dependency. Since sex addiction is more common among substance abusers, many chemical dependency programs offer a sexual addiction program or component."
Source and further information:
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/treatment-for-sexual-addiction/

"Most sex addicts live in denial of their addiction, and treating an addiction is dependent on the person accepting and admitting that he or she has a problem. In many cases, it takes a significant event—such as the loss of a job, the break-up of a marriage, an arrest, or health crisis—to force the addict to admit to his or her problem.

Treatment of sexual addiction focuses on controlling the addictive behavior and helping the person develop a healthy sexuality. Treatment includes education about healthy sexuality, individual counseling, and marital and/or family therapy. Support groups and 12 step recovery programs for people with sexual addictions (like Sex Addicts Anonymous) also are available. In some cases, medications used to treat obsessive-compulsive disorder may be used to curb the compulsive nature of the sex addiction. These medications include Prozac and Anafranil."
Source and further information:
http://www.medicinenet.com/sexual_addiction/article.htm

Such medications should only be taken in some extreme cases; we are talking here about mental illnesses. You won't certainly take them without indication.

replace the sex with drugs and the porn with beer and cigarettes so you won't have time for porn and sex anymore

You could go into the porn business

Go S.A meetings

every guy watches porn... EVERY guy, no one can stop that... but if you are constantly watching porn and paying no attention to your girlfriend then you need help. My ex watched porn with me.. and it was enjoyable because it gave us idea.. maybe you should try that

Disconnect your internet, that should help with the porn problem.

learn that to women if you are not only concerned with her needs you are selfish. once you learn this you can learn to to not have any needs so you can form to her will... however you still will be selfish to her.

There is porn and sex. then there is your g/f and love. Learn how to make love to your lady and you will never go back to porn and sex There is no comparison

Hey, you've already admitted you have a problem so you're doing pretty good. I would recommend trying to stop cold turkey - just stop. I know it sounds hard, unreasonable, call it what you want but i've been through several addictions in my life so far - and i'm still fairly young. Stopping cold turkey is what i have found works best, withdrawal might suck (i'm not really sure if there's a porn withdrawal,ha) and you're probably going to miss it to some extent, but the longer you wait the harder it gets, at least i find. Hey and you have a girlfriend so you can fulfill yourself the real way! No need for fantasies that never fulfill in the end.

If you love her enough you would ask her how to fix it and work on fixing it...(if you love her enough)...if not you need to move on and meet a girl that has the same addiction...as far as porn...maybe not many...I'm to jealous of porn...but, addicted to sex that should be easy.

have her be ur porno star or end the relation ship and move on

stop looking at porn. Simple as that. Recognize an addiction can almost always be harmful to u or to her, or both. Your a man, man up and fix it. Sex on the other hand... Continue that addiction ;) -laughs like an old perverted man-

My guess is she feeling very insecure and thinks you only want her for sex and are more interested in other ladies (in porn) than her. Turn of the porn (for a while)and be more romantic and caring towards her,go slow and dont jump in for the kill so soon.let her take the first step and you will see the rewards. Good luck hun x

It is selfish to want to hang on to your girlfriend when you are an addict. You cannot focus on the relationship while the addiction controls your desires. Do your girlfriend a favour and let her go on with her life while you clean yourself up. I was married to a sex addict and the pain that you will put her through could not be characterized as love.

There are pychiatrists specializing in sex addictions, SA 12 step classes and even residential treatment that will help. It will likely take months or years depending and the severity.

If she is around when you are sober, then try again.

addictions are all the same ..a lack of self control and discipline.....
but porn is a very UNMANLY , IMMATURE, and no SELF CONTROL or Discipline addiction..usually starts at a young age when the are boys...they never learn to control and mature into REAL MEN....
the biggest FACADE is the concept that nude magazines and porn are okay for adults...its NOT...because age does not make an adult ...growing and maturing.....and males,boys or adult, never grow into maturity and self control and can not tell the difference between making love and having sex...it becomes as act of out of control urges, nothing more....therefore ,very UNMANLY ,OUT OF CONTROL, IMMATURE male....
fix it ??? recognize ur problem!!! and take back control of yourself and your manhood....hard , but with all addictions...u can do it...it won't kill ya ....you may feel like it ,but thats as ILLUSION...like all withdrawals are....
cold turkey...which means more, her or your immature lusts and no self discipline.....:)
think about this....u are not a father yet, but would u want this to happen to ur son , little boy? u want to raise a little man or a wimp....? porn addicts really are LOSERS of a sort..they lose out on the real relationship with their mates....making love, not sex.......:)

weel find something constructive to do with your time. lyk puzzles, or t.v or writing something. if that doesnt help, go to a counselor, and try to get help.

that wanker that said he was addicted to cocaine well done hero it pisses me off when people say its not a addiction. im in the same boat i have a girlfriend and am addicted to sex and porn as of late i am startin to enjoy porn more its the first thing i do if im alone and it makes me late for everything and i prioritise it over alot of things (work, appointments) i cant organise my life because the only time i get to myself im lookin at itand not doing things i should be doing.

Most of you people out there try to offer decent responses to needful questions. Alot you you jerks out there are just that "JERKS" with a capitol "J"
If someone didn't want help they wouldn't ask questions to an answer board. Then there are the predators and predawhores who think their flip answers will make the person feel better. Wake up mush heads, that's exactly what you are, either that or you are young, dumb and full of it. I'm getting off this site you people don't give a shXX

Dump the Porn.. Before you lose your girlfriend, if you weren't focused on viewing unnatural sex acts maybe you wouldn't be having problems with your girlfriend. Wake up. what would you rather have? Companionship or jacking yourself off?

Any addiction will cause problems. Try moderation.

If they are addictions you need to seek professional treatment, no if, ands, or buts. If you don't want to get treatment you might as well break up. You are really hurting her, do you want to hurt the person you are suppose to love?

If you really want to fix it for yourself try www.recoverynation.com this is a common sense very informative 90 day program. If you want a more biblical approach www.settingcaptivesfree.com Both are free and will work wonders. It can be beat, although it takes a lot of work and patience.
Just please fix it, for your sake as well as hers. I've been the partner on the other side and it will absolutely destroy her if you continue. Not to mention, you're only going to keep feeling the way you do and end up even more alone than you already feel. There is help, but you have to take it. You are't alone in this, just remember that. There are many many of us out there that have to deal with this everyday of our lives, both addicts and their partners. Just know that if you do fix it, you will feel better than you ever have and will have a relationship that is beyond your wildest dreams

Role play good , why dont you pretend your both dirty dirty porn addicts , and act , this will then cancel out the need for porn love hannah x x x sexgodess(2006 - 2007 )

Take a vacation!Refresh your mind with exercise and interest building games!Go out to watch live sports!Spent less time alone when you are alone,have someone with you to watch your activities!Do meditation ,if possible!Repeat these steps for some period of time,it might help in overcoming your addictions!

you could try doing something to let her know that she is more than just a tool to you. But you and I have talked about this before. You dont just like sex, you like to treat her bad during sex, and there is no way to fix that. Maybe you should just let her go find someone who will treat her good.

Choices:
- quit "cold turkey" your sexual desires to keep your relationship with your girlfriend
- look for professional help with your girlfriend
- find a new girlfriend that share your views towards sexual fantasies & desires

My 2 cents.

she does like having sex just not 9 times a day like i want it

Let her go if she doesn't want to be with you because of it.

So you can't stop wanting sex and porn... and this obviously bothers your girlfriend so why not just pause for a mo and think about her- do you love her enough that you want to be with her for as long as possible if so then you have got to stop repelling her and start attracting her. :) show her that you can go without the porn for a matter of days and the sex for one or two at the most cuz thats got to be painful and by doing this she will not have to reconsider her relationship with you - you do not have to give them up all together just as long as she knows that she is more important and so are her feelings than you addictions :) x

Find a new girlfriend who also likes sex and porn (believe me, lots of girls love sex and porn).

Just continue what you do without affecting your quality time with her.If she gets the attention what she demands there wont be any problem

so as someone in a (trying to make the last life of a marriage work) relationship take it from me dont replace it with video games...my husband replaced it with wow (world of warcraft) which took over his life they are hard to control time limit wise so you will end up ignoring her and still look at occasional porn! it suck and its hard and i know people say porn is ok but honestly if you want a truly good and working relationship with anyone it cant be apart dont watch it with her you need to want to change the habit and go to a class like sex aa or the mormon (lds) church has some addiction class thats free i think you just look on their lds.org site (could be wrong) the point is anyone who tells you you can have a good relationship and look at porn constantly or even a bit is lying to you and themeless i dont think the urge to look at it ever goes away but if your lady now or your future woman is important to you you need to try to help yourself =)

i am addicted to having sex

with my boyfriend

all the time

i don't want to fix it :)

try to find out why you are addicted to these things. Maybe you want something else from your sex life

mix them together

As long as you don't force or pressure her into having sex I don't think she should judge you for this to an extreme. Watch your porn, but don't forget to treat her to a dinner and a movie and stuff like that too. Remember you have someone who's real and cares about you enough to tell you her feelings instead of just walking off as I believe most women would do.

Well, if you cherish her, then you will stop with the porn. Porn can make a woman feel not desired and since most of those women on porn are airbrushed and fake, it makes all of the real women out in the world feel like we are not perfect enough,especially if someone we love would rather look at that, than us. :P

Maybe you should make her feel more sexy like the porn queens in fantasy or acting it out a little.

They do have sex anonymous sessions, but its the only type of self help meeting that you cant just walk in to. You need to get interviewed and make sure you have an actual problem. Many times a doctors note of some sort will help speed up the process. (They dont want men going there just to find a "easy chick".)

But if you really need help. This would be a good start.

Dump the bitch and get yourself a blow up doll

Before I answered there were 69 answers. Ha. 69. Fix what? Keep on making with the dirty fucking, dude. You're only young once. Plenty of time later for doing other shit.

is and addiction and it generally has nothing to with . and the is not what one is addicted to it is the ing that must come first in the head or via . It actually is like all addictions :a coping tool. a little is never enough it continually wants to be number one in the addicts life.

Have you tried taking up heroin? That will stop the sex a porn problem.