- NEW!
by That Guy Again on September 14th, 2008
There are infinite forms and ways of domination and infinite forms of submission. The keywords are Safe, Sane and Consensual. You do have the right to choose just what you consent to. You can choose what and where the limits are. If you insist that you will not be a slave or if you insist on monogomy then that's how it has to be. If you are unsure then who knows... consider it. Good Doms will not only respect your choices and opinions they will always honor them.
There are many who say that it is really the submissive who is really in control in the sense that you have the abillity to decide who you will be submissive to, and to what extent.
by DJKsub on December 28th, 2010
this is so old you must have already resolved the issue. curious what you decided to do.
advice for new bdsm
by useme6969 on October 20th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
How to tell my best friend I want to be her sex slave?
by meowmeowpurrpurr on October 25th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
Do ameture femdom exist in India, who perform BDSM,Golden showers,facesitting,riding human pony etc.?
by pinkmasoc on October 28th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
Anyone been tied up with your own hair?
by meowmeowpurrpurr on October 19th, 2011
| 2 people like this
I have a "crush" fetish, and am looking for a female in which I can interact with who enjoys this kind of fetish. Any females out there???
by garystiles on November 12th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
You're reading Am being introduced to this culture by the man I love and who says he loves me. I want to be his submissive but cannot deal with his need for a slave and his need to spank other women. He says that has nothing to do with his feelings for ME. Please HELP
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Comments
Perfect answer Idd. +5! Couldn't have said it better myself.
by altgirl84 on September 14th, 2008
Thanks ldd & altgirl84.......wish it were that simple. So much more involved that I won't go into. I'll just say that I am not the slave........he had her before he met me. He does not see anything wrong with still seeing her or having others to spank. I am so confused. So my being his submissive does NOT mean that I have to submit to his desire for these other women? Guess I am just strictly vanilla and always will be. I see now that there isn't much hope for a relationship with him. Our ideas of a relationship are just too far apart.
Thanks anyway..............
by Dee on September 18th, 2008
Looks like you have differing views on monogamy. It's totally subjective; to some people, kissing is cheating, to others having sex even isn't. All depends on the people involved. Pretty much looks like that if he wants you in his life/as his sub, then he has to make compromises on these other women. He has to choose which is more important to him. I know it can be more tricky in the alt lifestyle, but most of the same general rules apply. Some Dom's simply say 'This is the way I live, you (the sub) can accept it or move on to someone else'. He just has to think which is more important. It's like in a vanilla relationship, generally if two people enter into an exclusive relationship, they don't see other people (unless of course they've consented to having an open relationship). But most often, for example if a guy is seeing a few different girls, then 'commits' to one of them, the other girls are cut out, or the one he's committed to will leave him (usually, not always). I wish u luck
by altgirl84 on September 18th, 2008
I just ended a 3 yr relationship very similar to yours.He had a woman that he saw a couple times a month for his kink. I consented to this other relationship because I for one I loved him and second he had me convinced it was something he needed to do and that this woman was just his fix nothing more. As time went on it became apparent that there relationship was more then just a biwkly fix. He wanted to have his sweet woman at home and on his arm, while having this secret life that no one but me knew about. Ending this relationship has been very difficult because I do love him and just wish this need for BDSM wasn't there. Good luck in your relationship... I dont feel so alone anymore
by Anonymous on October 22nd, 2008
I'm so sorry for your struggle :( I know how hard it can be and have seen it in many relationships. It's like a weighing-pros-and-cons game. I hope everything will work out for you in the long run and you find someone compatible. :)
by altgirl84 on October 22nd, 2008