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by Darkling on November 16th, 2006

Darkling

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What's the weirdest or most embarrassing combination of things you've ever purchased from a store?

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Answers. 45 helpful answers below.

  • by Stableboy on February 6th, 2007

    Stableboy

    We used to have wild hills behind our house before the developers bought the city council. My wife had a dog named Keesha, and each morning we'd go walking up in the hills early, sometimes before dawn, when skunks ruled the roost.

    On one particularly memorable morning, Keesha was out ahead scouting for trouble and found it. Our first clue was a VISIBLE cloud of some gas lightly illuminated by the dawn, the yelping of the dog racing toward us, and a vague sense that something unpleasant was in our future.

    I'm not enough of a poet to describe the strength of the odor emanating from this dog.

    So while my wife prepared the bathtub and held her nose, the duty fell to me to go shopping for the cure -- at least from what we had heard -- a year's supply of Massengill douche.

    Of course, at this hour in the grocery store, there aren't a lot of customers; but all the customers that WERE in the store chose to queue up behind me at the checkstand as I unloaded my cartful of magic potion. As much as I think of myself as self-assured and unconcerned with the opinions of others, the 4 sets of eyeballs (including the cashier) following my every move made me uncomfortable. SOMETHING had to happen to break the tension.

    So I finished stacking up the last douchebox on the conveyor, stood up straight, let out a long sigh, cracked my knuckles, and told the cashier straight out: "I just DON'T feel fresh today!"

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  • by Esteban-- Smart ass Pumpkin on January 26th, 2007

    Esteban-- Smart ass Pumpkin

    a sniper rifle, clothes pin and a copy of "home and gardens"

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  • by cristnalyn on January 26th, 2007

    cristnalyn

    Tampons and sour cream! I can only imagine what people were thinking!

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  • by Locks-Of-Love-NZ on January 26th, 2007

    Locks-Of-Love-NZ

    Well it was for a friends birthday, a cumcumber, condoms, and a Jelly.

    i think you can imagine...

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  • by TheShoemaker on November 20th, 2006

    TheShoemaker

    FIREWORKS, STARFRUIT, SHOEHORN AND A RUBBER MALLET, OUT OF ALL THIS THE SHOEHORN WAS THE MOST EMBARASSING TO PURCHASE, AS BEING THE LOCAL COBLER I SHOULD HAVE HAD THEM IN STOCK!

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  • by RFlagg on November 16th, 2006

    RFlagg

    I had to avoid the local corner store for three weeks after buying a large bag of licorich rope, a jugg of olive oil, a bandanna, a hairnet, and a bag of ice.

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  • by Darkling on November 16th, 2006

    Darkling

    For example, for completely legitimate non-related reasons, I purchased Vaseline, cat food, and a turkey baster in the same transaction.

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  • by Nomasain on January 26th, 2007

    Nomasain

    I asked a salesman to sell me a videotape once.
    After he helped me out, I asked him about a device to put it in.
    Not a strange combination, but a strange sequence.

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  • by onzanzabarsands on November 20th, 2006

    onzanzabarsands

    Vick's vaporub, a spatula, jiggle balls for cats, a baking pan and Ex-lax.

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  • by Anonymous on November 16th, 2006

    Anonymous

    Working in tesco my friend once sold a guy a packet of condoms, an avocado and a tube of KY jelly. I guess that must've been pretty embarrasing.
    I always find it highly amusing to purchase condoms, tampons or soft porn from embarrassed looking 16 year old male shop assistants.
    Can't think of anything I've brought that really embarrassed me though.

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  • by Anonymous on February 4th, 2007

    Anonymous

    When my wife was younger, her sanitary napkins. she would not make the purchase herself, because of being embarrassed.

    So naturally, old john had to do it for her.

    Now, that's love!

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  • by Volt on January 31st, 2007

    Volt

    Red hair dye and wholemeal fusli pasta.

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  • by FLYxNIGHT on January 28th, 2007

    FLYxNIGHT

    KY jelly, staples, a box of strike anywhere matches, and a bag of frozen shrimp.

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  • by takesonetoknowone on January 26th, 2007

    takesonetoknowone

    Chicken nuggets and tweezers.

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  • by answerbag-guy on January 26th, 2007

    answerbag-guy

    wii and a ps 3

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  • by MTank411 on January 26th, 2007

    MTank411

    Cat litter, a magazine, floor tile, some Brazil nuts, and a can of whipped cream.

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  • by tpt123 on January 26th, 2007

    tpt123

    Yesterday I bought a lint roller and a birthday card.

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  • by Mrs.mezzo is a Wagnerian soprano on November 30th, 2006

    Mrs.mezzo is a Wagnerian soprano

    When my cat died I cried so much I gave myself a headache. Then discovered I had no shovel to bury her with. By then it was dark so I had to go the store and buy extra-strength Tylenol, a shovel, heavy duty garbage bags and a flashlight. The store clerk looked at me kind of funny.

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  • by anonymous on November 30th, 2006

    anonymous

    Duc Tape, 2.5 meters of chain, a dust mask and a throw away barbeque. The woman at the counter gave me the weirdest look.

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  • by plinytheelder on November 20th, 2006

    plinytheelder

    crisco, 5 lb of onions, a measuring cup and a comb

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  • by TheAnswerer on November 20th, 2006

    TheAnswerer

    A Making Decks for Dummies book, slushie, box of tampons for my gf, and a calculator.

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  • by singwell-is off researching a lot on February 13th, 2007

    singwell-is off researching a lot

    Ground beef/mince and rat poison.The checkout chick looked worried, so I leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially, "Yes, the husband is getting a special dinner tonight." LOLOL

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  • by unknown on February 10th, 2007

    unknown

    A red bull and condoms.

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  • by jt007m on February 9th, 2007

    jt007m

    I was at a department store and bought

    blender
    3-pack men's low rise briefs
    a knife set
    a stuffed animal (giraffe)

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  • by Gracin the Strange on February 6th, 2007

    Gracin the Strange

    Slimfast and Twinkies... Slimfast for me and Twinkies for hubby and kids.

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  • by swabby429 on February 5th, 2007

    swabby429

    Cat food, a carton of Winstons, tampons for my cousin, and Redi Whip.

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  • by justme32 loves the weekends on February 4th, 2007

    justme32 loves the weekends

    Douche and Lube. I was preparing.

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  • by thejanet on January 28th, 2007

    thejanet

    Not sure if this qualifies or not, but one Halloween a friend and I made a quick run into the grocery store. I got a bag of apples to make baked apples with, and he needed razor blades. When the clerk rang up the apples and razor blades, she gave us incredibly dirty looks, and I didn't get why until on the way out of the store. I'm surprised she didn't call the police on us!!

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  • by SalientAlien on November 30th, 2006

    SalientAlien

    At the music store, I bought a Manowar CD and an Ice Cube CD. The clerk didn't even look at me funny.

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  • by EL1 2 on November 20th, 2006

    EL1 2

    Six hundred lollipops and a roll of film.

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  • by Anonymous on February 13th, 2007

    Anonymous

    Astroglide, apples, banannas, whipped cream, and condoms at the same time.

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  • by In London from 3-31 to 4-7--GTA Master on February 9th, 2007

    In London from 3-31 to 4-7--GTA Master

    The Hannah Montana CD and a Lamb of God CD at the same time...

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  • by Anonymous on February 7th, 2007

    Anonymous

    I bought a candy bar with an American Express Black card once.

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  • by Maximum Displacement on February 7th, 2007

    Maximum Displacement

    A machete, a hatchet, a Rockstar, and a puppy calendar.

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  • by Squarehead on February 7th, 2007

    Squarehead

    Peptobismol (or was it Tylenol?) and Unhealthy food. It was either sugar donuts or microwavable pizza. :

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  • by dreamtxhim sends love to the dance floor on February 7th, 2007

    dreamtxhim sends love to the dance floor

    My mom told me how when she was about 8 months pregnant with my sister (I was already born), she went to the store and bought some diapers and a 6 pack of beer. We were having a party that night. She had no intention of drinking the beer, but she said the cashier gave her a hard time...

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  • by SaraZita on February 7th, 2007

    SaraZita

    My mom asked me to pick up a copy of playgirl, a loaf of bread, and cigs once. I went to the same school as the check out guy.

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  • by mole6653 on February 5th, 2007

    mole6653

    a pak of comdoms and a bottle of coke wen i was thirteen

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  • by - retroglide - on February 4th, 2007

    - retroglide -

    Now that I think about this, today I was in Walgreens and I purchased AA batteries, tampons, deodorant, and a $1.00 Milton Berle dvd. I guess that could be weird. LOL

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  • by saladeater on October 24th, 2007

    saladeater

    air freshener a box of donuts a bag of doritos a grill lighter and eyeliner

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  • by rachelraspberry on October 24th, 2007

    rachelraspberry

    Vaseline and bananas. Then like 50 packets of toilet roll.

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  • by Pumby umby umpkin Est. 1989 on October 24th, 2007

    Pumby umby umpkin Est. 1989

    I've bought a Mooncup from Boots, and tampons and hair removal cream. Although I wasnt even bothered really.

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  • by popcorn on September 18th, 2009

    popcorn

    curling iron, gummi worms, tape, and febreze

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  • by Anonymous on November 4th, 2009

    Anonymous

    Desperately needing to locate the restroom and take a major-sized dump - having to use a public facility in a big store - being unable to grab a roll of tissue on the way in .... your only choice is a grungy stall with no door and a floor that looks suspiciously wet - and while your "at it" seeing that there is no toilet paper! - Too late - can't hold it any longer! (ugh, ugh ... aaahhh!)..... then you have to wait until someone leaves so you can swipe enough of those stupid flimsy hand towels out of the uncooperative dispenser by the sinks. Yeow! they're rough, but you do what you gotta do! Then up with the drawers and exit as nonchalantly as possible.

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  • by NeverWas on December 15th, 2009

    NeverWas

    Kneepads and mayonaise.

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