by ShimmyShim on November 15th, 2006

ShimmyShim

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Does cheating affect a marriage badly even though it happened 2-3 times with same woman and the wife doesn't know about it? Are wives usually that blind that they can't tell if the husband is having an affair? Do husbands' attitude change?

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Answers. 15 helpful answers below.

  • by Ullyses on November 15th, 2006

    Ullyses

    I have to agree with John to an extent. Even cheating once brings into question the efficacy of your marriage. Doing it 2 or 3 times means you don't even feel guilty enough to stop. Assuming the wife doesn't know is an even more stupid mistake. If you need to look for sex away from your marriage then your marriage isn't working. There is no excuse for it.
    Now, don't get me wrong, but if your wife and you have discussed matters and she is happy that you see other people then that is a matter for the two of you, but when you sneak sordidly for sex you are living a lie and letting your wife down. If you no longer love her then tell her and give her the chance to at least kick you out and get on with her life. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is.

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  • by RhythmBoy on November 16th, 2006

    RhythmBoy

    Cheating is a one-way road - there's no going back. Once you cheat in your mind, the cheating is done. Any male that behaves in this way has no honour, integrity or a spine. Why such males can't end a relationship that isn't working first, before looking elsewhere, is something I will never understand.

    And, for any women seeing married men, if he's cheating with you, he'll cheat on you, one day.

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  • by munchkin_kids_downunder on January 5th, 2007

    munchkin_kids_downunder

    have you ever thought that the wife actually loved her husband enough to trust him. isn't that what a marriage is. because the husband cheated, doesn't make the wife dumb. the husband has the problem, he can't really see what he really has is important, he is being selfish. you may not agree, but that's what happened to me. i loved him so much, i never really thought it was possible! he did it for his own selfish reason not because of me! he wanted the best of both worlds until he got caught!

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  • by christinee on November 15th, 2006

    christinee

    yes it does, i was cheated on in my year and a half relationship and he thought i wouldnt find out. though i was cheated on with more than 5 women, he thought i would not find out. i obviously found out because he started acting differently and was very shady and wouldnt let me touch his phone or look at what he was doing on the computer. i knew something was up and i caught. i ended it right there and that relationship was a waste of my time. so what you are doing to your wife is a waste of your time and you should have thought harder about getting married because clearly you are too immature for it!

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  • by JUSTNORMAL on November 15th, 2006

    JUSTNORMAL

    Of course cheating affects a marriage, regardless of how many times or with whom. It is a betrayal of trust and nothing hurts a spouse more. Women are not blind, sometimes they don't notice if they have a busy life, but for the most part, many choose to go into denial rather than face that nightmare. Everyone changes when cheating, whether it be treating the spouse better, or starting arguments so they can jusify their affair. Others are more attentive to throw the other off track. In any case, it will ultimately come back to bite him and I do hope it bites him hard.

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  • by Anonymous on November 15th, 2006

    Anonymous

    How do you know that your wife does not know? your marriage is heading for a dead end road. why did you marry to begin with?

    Someone needs to make her aware of your question

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  • by Ruffy on February 10th, 2007

    Ruffy

    No, it depends. Forget about whether the wife knows or doesn't know about it. Who cares if wife can't tell? Who cares if husbands' attitude change or not.

    It's not the affair that ruins the marriage, it's every thing that happened up to that point plus the affair that should tell you that something is not right or a gaping hole is in the marriage. I have never cheated so I wouldn't know, but according to some samples, cheating can have a good affect on marriage, at least when the cheating is going on.

    Who knows when the cheating ends? Maybe it's back to 'ugh, it's so boring I can't believe this crap' status again...?

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  • by unforgiven017 on February 10th, 2007

    unforgiven017

    What the... Do me a favor. Read what you just asked. I don't care if it was the same woman. Cheating is why this world sucks. You devote yourself to a single person in this crazy freakin' world hoping that if anyone, they will keep you going. And then to have that person screw you over is just unexcusable.

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  • by Stronghart on December 23rd, 2006

    Stronghart

    Men screw around. We were buil that way. Most of us, anyway. We need to conquer. That's what testosterone is all about. Yes, we could suppress those urges, but for what? To give our power to our mates?

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  • by Heather108 on April 18th, 2012

    Heather108

    Most affairs are short and about nothing but sex and not worth wrecking a family over.

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  • by centrator on February 9th, 2007

    centrator

    sometimes the other women in a man's life make his marriage better. hard to explain, but I know it's true.

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  • by nevets - badgicide on November 29th, 2006

    nevets - badgicide

    If you cheat it means your relationship has no trust. If your relationship has no trust it is damaging for it to continue.

    Cheating destroys a marriage unless somehow the two partners are able to regain each others trust.

    If your question is "is it easy to get caught"; that depends on the man and the women in question. Someone like me can't hide a thing and if I cheated (though I would not dream of such a thing in any relationship) there would be no way I could hide it.

    In contrast my best friend has never not cheated! He is a natural. ;)

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  • by lovelyvag on July 16th, 2010

    lovelyvag

    CHEATING MEANS WHAT. IF YOU ARE CARVING FOR ANOTHER WOMAN AFTER MARRIAGE THAT MEANS YOU ARE EXPECTING SOMETHING ELSE FROM YOUR WIFE OR YOUR WIFE IS NOT BEAUTIFUL OR IS NOT HOT IN THE BED.

    ANYWAY IF YOUR WIFE ALSO FEELS THE SAME WAY THAN WHAT?

    IF SEX SATISFICATION IS THE PROBLEM. TALK WITH HER AND TRY NEW OPPORTUNITIES TO HAVE SEX WITH HER AND NEW WAYS. INVENT NEW IDEAS.

    NATURALLY MAN AT THE AGE OF 60 ALSO CARVES FOR SEX WITH GIRL OF 19.
    THATS NATURAL MY BOY.

    DO WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE DOING.
    STILL YOU ARE CONFIDENT ABOUT YOU AND HER DONT WORRY.
    AND DONT DISCUSS THIS ISSUE WITH YOUR BEST OF BEST FRIENDS.

    OK
    EXPERIENCE LOVER

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  • by chontia123 on June 19th, 2010

    chontia123

    if your man is cheatin umm hello... that means he wants to b sleepin wit u ANDDDDDD everyone else to or simply he doesn't love your ass hello women!!!!!!

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  • by inner_Strength11 on October 31st, 2007

    inner_Strength11

    You know theres always going to be the men who cheat on their wives and vice versa...then again theres always the women (as you say your husband cheated with the same one more than once) who couldnt give a crap about how it affects the other half, thier children, the relationship etc.. I mean what is goin on inside her head?? Does she even think about or sympathise with the spouse??I dont think so...theyre all too fucked up and selfish to care about anyone else but themselves. What happened to women standing up for other women???

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