by 
lightfly
ANSWERS: 16
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The 100 funniest jokes of all time :) (Warning: adult language) http://www.bluedonut.com/100jokes.htm
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an honest used car salesman she didn't marry her millionaire husband for his money i am not a crook
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Someone was wearing a "Thank You for Not Smoking" lapel pin and Isaac Asimov cracked, "Did you pick that out of the trash with your daily paper?"
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I went there once, they made me feel as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.- Billy Connoly.
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my willy is swowlen
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My wife asked a woman in the maternity ward when was she due the lady replied "I had my baby this morning" The look on my wifes face was complete embarrassment. I found it hard not to roll on the ground in laughter.
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This http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VX8_M-KI7IQ
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i enjoy the insult "dick squeezer".
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Just now, on Chelsea Lately, she reported that a man deposited drugs into the ATM machine!!
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this is one of my faves. "best rum recipe ever" 1. Before starting, sample the rum to check the quality. 2. Good, isn't it? 3. Now proceed. 4. Select large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. 5. Check rum again. 6. It must be just right. 7. To be sure rum is of proper quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. 8. With electric mixer, beat one cup of butter ina a large fluffly bowl. 9. Add one teaspoon of thugar and beat again. 10. Meanwhile, make sure rum is alright. 11. Try another cup. 12. Open second quart if necessary. 13. Add eggs, 2 cups fried druit and cheat til high. 14. If druit gets stuck in beaters, pry loose with drewscriber. 15. Sample rum again-checking for tonscistitcity. 16. Nest, sift 3 cups of pepper or salt. (really doesn't matter.) Sample rum. 17. Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. 18. Add 1 bablespoon of brown thugar or whatever color you can find. 19. Wix mel. 20. Grease oven, turn the cake 360 degrees, pour mess in oven and bake. 21. Check rum again and bo to ged.
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Dick Cheney try to worm his way out of the last 8 years
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True story: recently 2 crooks robbed a bank in NY got out of state by car and then stopped and robbed a gas station in Pennsylvania. One held the clerk up by gun point the other waited with the car running...The clerk did as he was told and waited till the the danger was gone to call police. The police caught up with the robbers only about a mile down the road. The car ran out of Gas.
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I took my boyfriend to my parents farm, its achers and achers of land and he asked me this 'WHAO how do you mow all this grass?!?!?'
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Blasphemy the victimless crime.
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ill pick one of a million Me - you know kind louis of jungle book is louis armstrong friend - what the first man on the moon doin on jungle book
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Michael Jackson's comeback tour 'Rotten'
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