Why does that asshole walk up behind me while i'm sitting at my cubicle, calling me a slacker? What should I say/do to him?
by 
UrSecretary
ANSWERS: 36
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Talk to your boss about his behaviour.
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Probably thinks he's funny. Ignore him. He'll probably get bored.
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"Hey Im the one at my desk working - you're the one wandering aimlessly from cubicle to cubicle with your little ego, looking for something to do".
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Especially in work situations, it's often best to just smile and then ignore him (maybe he'll go away!) He's obviously trying to get a rise out of you but it's his agenda fueled by his immaturity and has absolutely nothing to do with you. For as long as you can, take the higher ground and don't respond to him at all. If that doesn't take the wind out of his sails, tell him you consider it harassment and you'll go to your supervisor with it. Document everything though so it won't just be his word against yours.
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He's just screwing around. It's typical male pattern bonding. Don't worry, no one else takes the guy seriously, either... If it were me, I'd respond, over the top, denying nothing... "I was trying to be invisible but you blew it. Thanks, dick." or maybe: "Yeah, the key is low expectations. Gotta keep the bar low, or they'll start expecting me to do something." Be warned, though, if you play the game, he may think you're his friend...
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tell him to go grow a willy and grow up
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one of my old professors was a real bully and he'd intimidate everyone he could. i prayed for that SOB for 5 years! something happened during that time. no, he was still the same SOB as he had been previously. but, i prayed for him every day - good things, not things like please god take his life - and over time, i found myself growing up. i can deal now with him.
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Quit being a slacker and you won't have this problem. . . . . . . Ignoring the person is the best route to take here. Either that or really lay into him and tell him to F-off. Depends on your personality I guess.
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Ignore him unless he's the boss. I had a woman leave a paper with a bloody fingerprint stained on it at my cubicle once, so I know it's a hostile environment sometimes.
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hang him from the bathroom stall
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Follow up regarding annoying man. I got out of my chair, grabbed his arm and held him near me while I wacked him on the head with a flat hard object. He now calls me a monster (every now and then) - otherwise he is very, very nice. CHEERS!
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You take revenge. xD
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Every time he comes near you and calls you something, slacker, monster, whatever, I would reply with a smile on your face and say "Hey Loser! How's it Hanging?" And say that phrase every single time! That might embarass him enough to stop. My bet is that he will then ask why you call him a Loser. And then you can reply with "Well because you never have anything nice to say to me." And leave it at that. My gut feeling is that he is being playful with you and does not realize how it bothers you. There's no need to make a big deal out of it, just give him a dose of his own medicine so to speak! But keep it simple. Perhaps it will stop. Good luck!
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I'd grow a thick skin. If it happens continually shut him down in front of a number of people. Ask him to step out of your cubicle and to leave you alone. You do that in front of people he will never bother you again.
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"Calling me a slacker is time spent away from your work." I'd say that without emotion or expression, and otherwise ignore that person.
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Just say loudly "Oh yeah, cos like I'm sitting here WORKING and you're wandering around trying to find people to wind up" or "Can you PLEASE go and find something real to do instead of constantly interrupting my work?" or "Dammit man you've broken my concentration AGAIN - don't you have a job?" If he's all about how it looks and setting ideas in other peoples heads, that should be enough for a double win - make him look stupid, show him up for what he's doing and make him nervous of doing it again in case he comes out looking like the loser again. I hope. Finger crossed. (Oh - waves of sympathy @ you)
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Stop being on AB and he wouldn't
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Were you born an asshole or did you have to practice at it? . Your right to an opinion does not obligate me to take you seriously - Winston Churchill
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Print out a copy of your state's sexual harrassment laws and hand them to him the next time he comes 'round. Simply say "I'm watching you..." and leave it at that. He will get it eventually, although he does not sound like the brightest bulb in the marquee!
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Kill him.
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Take the higher ground. You don't need to say anything in response. If he hangs around simply tell him you have a deadline and need to keep working. He is probably flirting. If that makes you uncomfortable ask him to stop.
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I'd just laugh and say somewhat loudly "At least I pretend to work, how do you get away with walking around all day?" or something similar.
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Just ignore it, sounds like he's trying to get a rise out of you.
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well since he started the childish banter, you could always reply "takes one to know one"
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Mind your own business!
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Say nothing but fart loudly while he is standing behind you. That should express everything he needs to know. Besides, you can't get fired for letting one rip. Sue the company if you did.
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agnore him
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Have you ever seen Wanted.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyIEsCH9BJw
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If you want to irritate him you've got 2 choices, first attack his masculinity (that doesn't mean punch him in the crotch), or treat him like a child. Both of these are guaranteed to piss off most men!
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Tell him you are trying to get those X-rated pics of you and his wife off of the Internet before she finds out you posted them, so to leave you alone so you can get to work.
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Say "If I'm the slacker, how come I'm sitting at my desk and you aren't at yours?"
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tell him to jog on
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Next time you see him coming out of the corner of your eye... Run him over with your chair! Immediately afterward... turn on the apologetic gushing and pretend it was an accident because You never saw him standing there judging you.
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Strangle him with your mouse cord and stuff a stapler down his throat. If he's as big a jerk as you say, your co workers will help you dispose of the body.
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Just say OK Mr Smart Ass,then invite him to sit down at your desk and show you how he thinks your job should be done.
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Look directly at him and say "oh, I'm glad you're here, hold on a sec". Then pretend dial your/his boss and say something like "Mr. Boss, Earl is here in my office, and said he has nothing to do the rest of the day and was wondering if you had any special projects he might work on...<pause for effect> okay, I'll tell him". Earl, Mr. Boss said take the rest of the day off with pay and he'll see you in the morning.
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