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by confused on July 28th, 2008

confused

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Do you think that if a person committs suicide & leaves a detailed explanation letter to everyone who mattered in their lives, that it makes it easier on those left behind, that maybe they could forgive the person, understand and move on without guilt?

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Answers. 8 helpful answers below.

  • by Tiger.... on July 28th, 2008

    Tiger....

    Suicide is a selfish act, they arent thinking about you

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  • by JanZizka on July 30th, 2008

    JanZizka

    Having known two people that chose to end their own lives, it is difficult to say whether it would help or not. In the one instance it was not entirely unexpected and perhaps not so tragic, he was in so much pain day to day (physical and emotional) that it was probably a release if anything else for him (a very long story I'll NOT get into here). In the other, it came completely unexpected and she had, for lack of any better way to put it, so much to live for. In the latter case, I had the misfortune to be the one that found her after the fact. I'd give anything for even a small insight into what drove her to do that, so yes, in that instance that detailed letter would be welcome no matter how inadequate as its better than the nothing at all I got.

    As far as forgiveness, what is there to forgive? Ultimately its up to them, we can beg, plead, cajole, etc. all we want, ultimately its their choice. That it is not the choice I'd want for them is no reason for me not to forgive them, I can't make that decision for them as no matter how well I knew (or thought I knew them) I'm not in their shoes, I cannot decide for them. Similarly with guilt, what is there to feel guilty about? Both knew well that anything I could do for them I gladly would (short of assisting in the act, and yes, the first person did ask that), that they were unwilling to take that lifeline is again out of my hands. Yes, it hurt and still does in the case of the latter person but it makes no sense to hold a grudge against someone who is gone or feel like its my fault when it plainly is not.

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  • by Snooksie on July 28th, 2008

    Snooksie

    If some one wants to end their life then that is their right.
    Grief for relatives and friends should be short and then they should get on with life.
    Acrimony towards some one who has taken their life because of insurmountable physical or mental pain(or both)is a path way to more anguish and torment.
    Euthanasia should be embraced by society and used and dealt with in a mature and sensible way,not condemned as a crime.

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  • by Galeanda on July 28th, 2008

    Galeanda

    Not at all. It explains nothing. Everything written should have been said face to face. A note is just a way for someone to try to feel better about what they are thinking of doing. It doesn't help, it doesn't make people feel less guilty. It only raises a few less questions in one direction but makes more in another.

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  • by xena-angel on July 28th, 2008

    xena-angel

    No, been there done that. The only thing it does is prevent those who have lost from saying "why?" It doesn't stop them from caring, it doesn't stop them from saying "why didn't they come to me for help?", "why wasn't I able to help?", "what could I have done differently to prevent this?". It does not help with the "move on without guilt". Forgiveness, has nothing to do with letter in my opinion. And what does the dead person care any way? They were so selfish to take thier own life that I don't see how forgiveness is even a consideration for them.

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  • by JUGMAN1000 on July 28th, 2008

    JUGMAN1000

    well i would want to know why they did it, but it probably wouldn't help me move on.

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  • by fulopy on July 28th, 2008

    fulopy

    i think the fact that they left the note makes it easy to understand why they did what they did & u left behind u just feel helples bcos u could have found the solution for the problem

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  • by Ms sexpot Love Games on July 28th, 2008

    Ms sexpot Love Games

    I never really understood why people commits suicide is it something in the brain that tells them to kill themselves?. I don't think a note will help the love ones when they discover your dead body laying next to that letter thats a terrible sight to see for any love one so no letter will ever explain why no matter what the letter says.

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