I found out nine months ago that my fiancee was listed on an adult "friend" finder website, and was collecting phone numbers. I confronted him and he swears nothing ever happened, but I still don't fully trust him. What should I do?
by 
dayleicht
ANSWERS: 11
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The odds are not good on his being trustworthy. They're not zero, but not good. Hope you haven't ordered the cake yet...
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Just to be on the safe side, before you say "I Do", ask some of his friends about his character. be an investigator. most will not tell you anything, because of loyalty to him. but, someone, you least expect, will give you answers....good and bad. My wife had her brother check me out, before we married. she did not tell me this until 10 years later. thats okay, we are still married. Point here is this, if there is something in your fiancee's past that is questionable to you, it is better to learn the truth now, rather than face a posssible divorce later. The truth is out there. it's up to you find it.
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OUCH, I heard about that site. Adult friend finder is more of a kinky site, than a just friendship site. People with fetishes etc frequent that site. Have you discussed this again since the initial confrontation? Is he still on the Computer? I dunno, I just cannot imagine marrying a man you dont trust! Maybe you need to talk to him, a very very long talk before you make up your mind.
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Was this before or after your relationship with him started??? If it was before, I don't think it should be an issue, I don't think there's anything wrong with "collecting phone numbers." If it was after your relationship started, I'd definitely be looking for more explanation -- not so much what happened, but why it happened. In that case, I agree with an another answer -- don't order any cake until you've cleared yourself of feelings that haunt you. It may all be nothing -- but as long as it's on your mind -- it's something.
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He doesn't sound like he'd be an honest, trustworthy partner. I'd return the ring and consider yourself lucky to have seen his true colors before the wedding.
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A friend of mine started seeing a man she met on a site like this. He sent her nude pictures of himself! They got involved and later,she found out he was still listing himself and setting up meetings. She got upset with him, they supposedly worked it out, got married, had a child and then divorced. I never felt he was trustworthy, despite his protests to the contrary.
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Dump him.
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If you haven't got trust in a relationship, there is no point in being in it. There is no relationship, in my opinion. You say you still don't fully trust him. Perhaps your unconscience is trying to tell you something. You need to listen to it!
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Find a person with whom you can trust..this sounds too fishy too me
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I think you would be taking real risks if you stay with this person. People (men or women) do not list their name and bios on sites like that if they are loyal spouses or boyfriends or girlfriends! I would cut your losses now and move on to find a guy who will respect you and also be loyal.
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Something like this has just recently happened to me as well, although he denied it and I caught him red handed since we have access to each other's email. I confronted him and we are trying to work through it because I trust his character that he never did go through with anything physical. He is simply scared about growing up and that we are settling down, and it was more for the thrill to see if he could get another girl. Trust me, I do not agree with the behavior what so ever, and have made this quite clear to him. I'm giving him the chance to earn my trust again, but we are holding off on a wedding date and if I cannot let go of this mistrust I will not stay because it is hard enough being so worried all the time.
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