I think that if I got pregnant I would get the abortion by myself with nothing said, but my boyfriend said he would get mad. I think it makes it like killing a baby if you go together and make a big deal of it. Am I wrong?

If you can't make decisions like this with your partner, you shouldn't be having sex.

Whether you are pro-choice or pro-life, I don't see how it makes a difference who actually goes to the clinic - its either killing or it isn't.
I think the problem with the idea is that part of you does feel as if an abortion would constitute killing, but that if you make the process as small and clinical as possible, you don't have to deal with and reconcile yourself to that idea. You want to avoid having a discussion about it because the discussion will somehow "make the baby real".
This kind of avoidance thinking is potentially damaging- its not so far off from people who suspect they have HIV but avoid getting tested because somehow not knowing for sure makes it seem less real. Unfortunately it doesn't stop the disease from killing you.
The problem is that you clearly do see the foetus as a baby, its just that you prefer to try not to think about it. Its highly likely that the feelings of guilt about the abortion would simply surface sometime later. You don't avoid the issue, you just defer it. I think it far better to deal with your feelings in the here and now BEFORE you act on them.

Plus you have to consider that although it is your body, and ultimately your decision, it would be his baby too. It would be a different issue if we were talking about some random one night stand, but a long term boyfriend I think is entirely justified in at least wanting to be consulted about the fate of his child. Try and put yourself in his shoes (I know guys can't get pregnant but its hypothetical!)- would you not at least want him to talk to you about it before making the decision?

Duh!!! It's not LIKE killing a baby, it IS killing a baby whether you choose to accept it or not!
You'd be better off to abstain from sexual relations until you get married anyway.

an abortion IS a big deal and you should not use it as a form of birth control. use a condom or get on some pills if youre worried about getting pregnant.i agree with your boyfriend, i would be pretty pissed if someone killed my baby too. by the way, an abortion does KILL the baby, what the hell did you think it did?

You are neither right or wrong. The feotus is not a baby, therefore it wouldn't make any difference whether anyone knew or is with you or not.

I know what you mean though. You think that if an accident happened and you wanted to abort the baby, telling everyone would make a big deal out of something which is a big enough deal as it is, and therefore make it harder for you. Well, this can be true, and can't be. Yes, it will seem like a bigger deall seeing as everyone will be going on about it, but also you will need support too. Aborting a baby is a big decision, and you will need someone to talk to about it. Thats why it is good to tell someone about it.By the sounds of it, your boyfriend just doesn't want you to suffer alone, and would be really upset if you didn't feel you could confide in him about something so big that effects you both. SO my suggestion is should the dilema ever arise, confide in him.

Maybe you shouldn't be sexually active if that's what you would do

I'm probably not going to get good ratings for this answer, but I am going to state my own personal brutally honest opinion. Here it goes.

I think that YOU and YOU ALONE should have ultimate control over this decision. If you want to include your boyfriend, that's considerate of you. But if not, that's completely fine too. I believe that it is unfair for the male partner to have very much say in decisions like this. He's not the one who has to nourish and carry a fetus for nine months and endure the pain and disfigurement of childbirth.

As a disclaimer, I'd like to say that I'm pro-choice, but I don't think that abortions should be taken lightly or used as a convenience.

Many people argue about this. I just feel that if you feel it's right, then do what you feel. It's your baby growing inside you, and it's your decision as to if you want to keep it or not.

It is obvioius that you do not realize how a person feels after this is done, even years later, some even feel the pain on the "birthday that never was", or "the day it was done". You may not feel this now, but you may later, this is why I would say, if you are going to do it, do it together, there may come a time when you need that shoulder to cry on.

If it were me I would talk to him about it. It sounds like he is trying to be responsible and doesn't want to leave you alone to deal with it. Which is more than what a lot of guys would do. So talk to him and if you still feel really strong about going alone then tell him that too. Ask him to wait at home, or in the car if that is what you need. We all deal with things in our own way. But one thing you have to remember is that pregancy is not just yours but his also even if you are the one carrying it. The least you can do is talk to him. Sounds like he is really understanding and will be there for you in any way you need him.

personaly i think you are either ok with abortion or your not. It doesn't matter how many ppl know or go. If you don't what to tell your boyfriend than just don't but more than likely he will know having an abortion is a lot like having a baby there are ways to tell what you have done. If you want him to know and go then ask him to or take a friend for support. either way it is killing a living thing. Im not saying it is right or wrong im just saying weather you go by yourself or with some one it is still the same thing.

if you dont want to have a baby there are precautions you can take if you really want to have sex in the first place and it sounds to me your boyfriend wants to be with in the bad times too thats why he would get mad

it sounds as if u know u are going to get pregnant and just want to no what is the best way to go about an abortion without feeling too guilty.COP ON GIRL AND GO ON THE PILL

well ..... that's because it's killing a baby Sorry to be the one to break the news

Look I think that if you can not be woman enough to deal with what happens because you are having unprotected sex then you need not have sex...I say go to some place rent a movie of abortions and see what happens to the fetis. It rippes them to pieces. I say go to the store and get a asprin and put it between your knee's and hold it tight until you grow up enough to be responsable. Or sew it up or super glue it.

each to there own but in my opinion is that if your not ready to have a child, dont... do you want to bring a child into the world when your not prepared?

in some way you are right..but i think your boyfriend wants to be apart of it, because if you get pregnant he is involved in it, and so for you to go and take care of it on your own that just make him feel worthless..
and maybe that wasnt your intention..me and my x had a pregnancy scare once, and i went and took the pregnancy test alone without saying it to him, and then finally when i did, he was really mad at me.he sayd that he felt like he wasnt in the relationship, because he wanted to be there with me, supporting me when i took the test...
and i learned from that little mistake..you dont have to go with your boyfriend into the hospital, but just make him understand that this is something you have to do alone,and that you love him..
also talking about it,and you knowing how he feels is a good thing...but dont go do something that may end the relationship..

in many ways i understand you,because if you put a big deal into it, it would be like killing a baby, but you are a couple and he want to be there for you, dont push him away...
hope my answer helped=)

Dude You think it makes it like killing the baby, you really shouldn't be having sex period..!!!! Abortion is killing the baby wether or not you go alone or with your man, it doesnt matter. If you dont want a child then take the preventive measures that are readily available to every woman, the only thing you should be questioning is what type of birth control you are going to use. How can you honestly question if it is killing a baby??? I mean duh thats like questioning if god made adam and eve or adam and steve!!??? its adam and eve just like its killing the baby!!!!!

I think when your boyfriend reads this question you are gonna be in some serious conversations.

its killing whether you go alone or with 100 people, and i agree you should keep your legs closed or even easier, use a rubber!

If I were your boyfriend I would be sad, hurt and furious if you killed my future child that way and didn't even think it was "a big deal." Why would you think it's a problem for a young man to be responsible and to care about the life he is helping to create?

I think that you should give the baby up for adoption and not kill it alone or with him.

Do whatever you want, its your body, not his. You choose. Thats whats great about america.

Weather you go alone or together that baby is going to be killed. Use birth control, Abortion is NOT birth control. How hard is it to take a pill or get a shot then you wont have to worry about a schedule. If you do not think you can afford it look up local health clinics and get some information in the least. Birth control can be inexpensive and save you the heart ache of a lost life and going thru a medical procedure which has risks to you.

you should know the outmost truth that a baby is a gift no matter what the situation is

this is life and a product on what you have

will you not face it?

Yes.. When you get an abortion there are different things the doctor can do. But in the end whatever they give you, it usually ends up smothing the baby. And if you ever what to have kids in the furture you might have some trouble because abortion is hard on your body.

I struggled for a long time trying to decide if I should tell my boyfriend or not. In the end I told him and he was extremely supportive. Communication in a relationship is so important especially in a situation like this. Going together just means he supports you in your decision and wants to be there for you. It is an emotional roller coaster and having him there will help. I asked mine not to come because it would make it all to real "like I was killing a baby" and i really regret not having him there with me.

Killing babies is one of life's great mysteries. Of course you should tell your boyfriend!

It's a pretty big decision for him too and one you should both make. If you're not mature enough to recognize this, I don't think you should be having sex in the first place.