- NEW!
by cupcake on July 18th, 2008
I wrote this for my boyfriend Peter <3 im usually really weird about letting people except him read anything i ever write but i would like honest feedback please. i would really like to know. =]
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What if i told you,
my love is neverending.
Would you beleive me when i said,
on you my life is depending.
The reason i wake up.
The reason i never want to fall asleep,
please baby please,
my heart i want you to keep.
This love i confess to you,
every second of the day,
its absolutely true,
please beleive the words i say.
My love will never die,
its always true,
its always real.
my love will never lie.
Though it is impossible,
everyday im more in love with you.
this is how i know,
that this love is truly true.
I wrote these words
just for you
your my petie pie,
your my everything,
your the clouds up in the sky.
Your my man, my baby
and sweetie im your lady
your my pumpkin
your my love, your my you
your my above
i love you always,
i love you forever,
will this love stop?
NEVER NEVER NEVER...
by Albaga00 on July 16th, 2008
I would only write poetry as a means of expressing my inner-most feelings, usually to get them out in the open, after a few days I would read the poem and most likley feel embarrased!!! So, sorry cannot and will not give you examples.
by Bsweet. on July 16th, 2008
Yes I do, sorry im not giving examples as that would make them less special, i wrote them for him and him only.:-)+
by TWA on July 16th, 2008
I used to write a lot of poetry, but I would always read over my finished product, hate it, and set it on fire. So no, no examples.
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Comments
I think this is well-written and can picture it as lyrics as well, if someone could put it to music for you. My only critique would be the lines in which you call him by the pet names "petie pie" and "pumpkin." Although guys like it when their girls are comfortable enough with them to give them cute nicknames, they are embarrassed when others know about them. You might wanna change those two lines. Other than that, any guy should like this. Especially from such a cute gal ... +3
by Jannae on July 18th, 2008
Thats lovley.... +3 thank you for being brave enough to share this with us...
by Broody on July 18th, 2008
Jannae- My man LOVES it when i call him his nickames. even in front of his friends. he could be by all his jock buddies and i could go HEY PETIE PIE! and he is just like, yes cuppycake? He never has cared what people though. lol. i also call him King Peter. KP for short. hehehe
Broody- thank you! =D and yes it was hard to show my work but i really wanted some feedback on it so i sucked it up and posted it. lol. im trying to get a website up with all my work on it but im not good with electronics. lol.
by cupcake on July 18th, 2008