well, it could be that he feel like hes smothering, so it is him, hes sexually frusrated and thinks he can deal with it on his lonesome or with someone who will satisfy it, OR (i dont know you so dont take this offensive please =]) he think that there IS a problem with you but hes taking the blame for it. Men are good at taking the blame for things. Sometimes it really is heartfelt and hes scared to hurt the girl. (opinion from a male =]) Lash

Unless you are married, you are not commited to anyone. Unless you come straight out and make that long term commitment to someone without a ring. You are allowed to carry on your own identy and be yourself and have your space etc..... you dont have to answer to that other person if you are just bf/gf. where does it say you need to tell that person everything. now if you are married then yes you should be well informed of what YOUR SPOUSE is doing.

I found myself thinking about that of someone just today "its not you, its me". Contemplating breaking up with her because I felt unimportant due to the fact that she still feels committed to her ex-boyfriend for saying that she "will always care for him" and has to "stand by her word". Prior to this we were having an awesome relationship, everything was good and it all came to a screeching halt when he showed up at her doorstep wanting back into her house and life after she told him that she didnt want him anymore and he agreed because he was in a relationship with someone else at the time. I can only imagine that she was waiting for him then I came along. I felt like the third wheel because she had six years with him prior to me and we only had 3 weeks together. But, yeah! she's feeling all broken up about those words she told him. Anyhow, as it turns out he is a loser that comes back every few months for sex and what not but she is not available for him anymore. But still, I was thinking here we go again with those poor john stories. I dont know the guy but the way she talks about their past she helped him with his career and was there during her time of need and he took advantage of that situation. But is now, contemplating using alcohol again, throwing his pathetic life away on somebody that does not want him anymore. Anyhow, he just needs somewhere to lay his hat down while he sorts out who he wants to be with again. The boy obviously treated her badly playing his games and she is sitting there still listening to the guy like she is obligated to him because she does not want to watch him throw his life away over her. But yeah, he is willing to come back to her and be all he can be and all that good stuff because he means it this time (yeah right!). I just dont want to deal with the b.s. anymore and thats why I want to say those words of ("it isnt you, its me") and let them be.

I ask that same question- my boy friend broke up with me saying "its not you its me baby i love you but i just don't want to be in a relationship right now, and you were the best girl friend in the world to me but you deserve better" and i didn't want that because i loved Him and he broke up with me and he ended up just getting with a bunch of girls and hurting me more and i know that it was me i did something wrong and he just wanted more than one girl because still to this day he tells me he loves me and trys acting like we are still dating like friends with benefits and i say fuck that but still i love him yanno? Its hard and i hate it.