I can't make him cum! My boyfriend can't cum whether its sex or b.j's, he says its not my fault and that he's always had that problem. But when he masterbates he can cum within minutes. I feel really shit about myself. Is it common?

it's called delayed ejaculation and it's actually a disorder that can stem from many different things such as masturbating too frequently. If he has gotten accustomed to the way that he pleasures himself then unless you mimick the way that he does it he will not ejaculate. Your vagina will never give him the same tight fit as his hand does and your hand probably wont either. Some suggestions that I have not tried out because this is not a problem for me and my guy are having him hold off on masturbating for a week or so and having him watch porn and sort of build up this sexual desire so that when you come around he is ready to ejaculate and has a certain need for it. You should really talk to your boyfriend and see how much of an actual problem this is. If you guys can have sex or you can give him head and he can just hold off on ejaculating for when he can do it himself then you can just enjoy eachother minus the ejaculation and you can benefit from not having a "minute man" so to speak and he can just receive pleasure from seeing you pleasured. Many people figure that the male ejaculation signals the end of intercourse but it does not necessarily have to. Hope this helps! and remember that it is not your fault and you are not doing anything wrong.

Hey I hate to sound like a dick but over masturbating isn't the case.

Everyone is acting like your husband/boyfriend's penis has a mind of its own. It doesn't. If the pleasure is good enough he'll climax. If it's not he won't.

Most of the females on here probably aren't attractive/working what they have correctly. If I'm having sex with someone I don't feel is aesthetically pleasing I will never climax. I've faked orgasms before with "unattractive girls" (read: ugly.)

I feel crappy about it but now I realized its not me. Pornstars are hot, they make guys cum. Its sorta their job. Average girl next door isn't. Become above average and he'll cum.

okay so I've been messing around on and off with this guy and the first time I gave him head and the first time we had sex I had to call it off on both occasions because he could sit there all day without ejaculating and I would be close to gagging when I gave him head and after about an hour into sex I would just be plain old tired and begininng to get bored with the whole thing so I was always the one to stop things because I had multiple orgasms while he was not even halfway there. We have a very open sex life and are completely comfortable talking about sex and have come to the conclusion that although he would enjoy coming to me as long as I was enjoying myself he was too and he could ejaculate by himself some other time when I was not around. To him, it is not a big deal and he still enjoys sex with me even though we both know he isn't going to ejaculate. It used to frustrate me because I thought I was doing something wrong but it's not us it's them. I've read up on it and

I agree with what the others have said about him not pleasuring himself. No girl is ever going to be as tight as his hand. He needs to retrain himself to need a lighter touch. I would also suggest that he apply some kind of skin lotion to his penis each day to help the head become more sensitive. If he has to masterbate, then have him take a condom, put some lube in it, and gently and slowly slide it up and down. This will be more like having sex with you. It will also teach him how to last longer when he is having sex with you. Men who are not circumcised do the same thing with their foreskin when they masterbate.

I have the same problem with my boyfriend. And he's worried as am I... what can we do differently? I'm his first girlfriend, but not the first girl he's slept with...

This is probably more common then we think. My girl has gone down on me for like 45 minutes, gotten me close but never to the point. I'm addicted to porn and this is probably a problem. I can't friggin stop though. She's awesome though and I try and show her where I'm sensitive, and she even watches me jack off to see how I do it. I read on another forum about a guy who quit beating off and then he came. I'll try and do the same but its just too fucking easy when there's a billion zillion porn stars flaunting their stuff on the web.

Thats the thing, he doesn't masterbate often. Well so he says, it just makes me feel really insecure. The other day I was just at work feeling slightly horny. I text him saying "I want sex" and he text back saying "um we need to talk". When I asked what it was he said nothing. I just feel really un sexy now. We used to have sex regularly, we used to call it porn sex. We experimented, feel comfortable around eachother and now we barly have any. Once a month if I'm lucky. When I bring up the subject he tells me that sex isn't everything in a relationship, to me it is something... :(

It does sound like he has become very used to cumming by hand, especially if he can do this within just minutes. He will need to stop masturbating and save it for you. However, men are very visual creatures and perhaps having those senses stimulated during sex, like putting on a porn flick, will help the cause. But if he has always been like that, maybe he has some sort of underlying emotional issues from his past that he has not dealt with. ( just a thought ) You could perhaps dig deep and find out what his sexual fantasies and preferences are and work that into the bedroom too. Play on all senses, sight, taste, touch smell and so on. good luck

He's masturbating too much. His penis is too familiar with cuming bu his hand and so he needs to re-learn how to reach. What he needs to do is to not masturbate for a week, then he should cum normally when he is inside you. If you have sex everyday or more than once a day, he might not reach.

You could also just do mutual masturbation, that way he can reach as regularly as he desires, possibly more than once a day and you are involved.

Yea ...i just got done having sex with my boyfriend for 4 hrs ...wild positions ,oral ,hand jobs...nothing is working,but yesterday morning he said he came in the shower while he was jerking off....and that pissed me off and made me feel very insecure...cuz when we first met we would have sex three times a day and he came every time ..once he came 2 times right after the other...idk whats wrong its really making me sad cuz i feel like im not woman enough ...but god damn im gorgeous i stay in shape i experiment to find different ways to please him but nothing...he does jerk off a lot and i think thats why ..but i may orgasim a lot but im not satisfied till i see him cum till i know i satisfied him...i might leave him :(

change positions, try new ones mixed with old ones traditional with actual, candle lit night with a lingere idk use your imagination, it may work...

My boy n i hav been 2gether for more than a year and we have regular sex (5 times a week) and we are at it for hours at times and he's ejaculated just abt 4 times in the whole year.... Im sure he does'nt masturbate and also sure that he has'nt layed many gals b4 he dated me and he aint into porn too.... yet its just so hard for him to cum.... while i on the other hand hav multiple orgasms... we just stop wen eva he's tired cos by then im pretty satisfied...

we've talked abt it many times and tried different kinda things that might help with him cum'n,but some how tho he tries it doesnt happen n now he's into pleasing me more than him self which is my problem... he's the shy kind n i think he concious for some reason.... can a man hold up this long..?? or is there somethin wrong wid him..?? we really luv each other n i feel bad 4 him...(

depends on what he's done through the day, how hard work was, how much stress he was under, has he eaten right, has he rested right, is he well hydrated a lot of facts are involved, does he smoke... alcohol...
not to sound mean but if the woman's crotch stink its very VERY relevant too...

pay attention to the surroundings
what he has done, rub his whole body with scented oils,
look up kamasutra

hey baby girl this is not a problem for either of you i use to be the same way i count cum but now that am a lilolder i know how to make my self cum during intercourse i say trie anal be a lil dirty filthy whore in bed and watch how fast hes gona xplode

i have had this issue with my hubby his was strictly that he is on anti depression meds

i use to be like that. my first few sex partners i was not able to cum. it was all in my head though. i was always thinking when i was having sex. thinking if im doing it right, is she liking it, etc. I had a girlfriend and the first few times it was the same story. finally i quit thinking so much and cleared my head and after about ten minutes i felt the sensation of reaching orgasm. lol i was so happy i came inside her. although she was not so happy. cuming inside a girl feels better than masturbating. way better. and for a short period i became a one minute man lol. i came so fast cause she would get me really really turned on. i would suggest to tell your dude to relax and just enjoy the feeling. tease him make him really really want you. just cause he is aroused does not mean he is actually turned on. his little head is ready for the game but his big head isnt. thats what did it for me. hope this helps your dude cause sex is supposed to be enjoyable. whats the point in having sex if your not gonna cum. sex after twenty or thirty min is numb and boring.

me and my hunband has had the same problem a few times before. We have sex regurlarly (about 4-5 times a week) but he got dental work done and was put on pain medicine and that was the cause of his delayed ejaculation. at first i thought it was my fault but i have gotten him off every time before then so i did research and called my MD and she said it was normal. So do not blame yourself because there are several factors that need to be considered first.

ive had the same problem in the past but change it up and yes part of the problem is him masturbating, its better now but it took a while to get it back on track, 3 weeks of no masturbating and very little sex... yes its a struggle but worth it... when u do have sex tho afterward if he hasnt finished do it for him, hell get less acustomed to his own and
XOXO
Betty