more like an illness.

No. Porn gets blamed for a lot of problems that are there in relationships with or without it. But I would certainly find it annoying, taken to this extreme. I would have looked at it as a warning sign that something was missing in our relationship. I would have watched carefully at what was exciting him and tried to turn things around...by cuddling up, watching together and giving him the hand job myself. Sometimes there is simply nothing you can do and no one to blame.

It has many of the same symptoms as sexual abuse and psychological abuse have. Some people don't understand that sexual abuse is not just rape. It can also include intentionally not having sex with your partner to "teach them a lesson" or something of the like.

I know how you feel. My 2nd loved to watch porn and would rather watch it then to be with me. I felt that he was cheating as well as you do. My husband now looks at it every ONCE IN AWHILE. It still bothers me, because of the ex. I have explained to him that it upsets me and makes me feel like shit that he is doing it. He has since then stopped looking at porn and he understands why I asked him not too. On the other hand I have no problem with us watching it together. We really have fun with it.

Not cheating, but definately escapism and avoiding intimacy. If you 'unsexualise' masturbating - it can simply be a way to deal with stress, like over eating, smoking, etc etc and like those habits become more relied upon & more frequent.

I honestly do consider it a form of cheating. When intimacy deteriorates and someone starts feeling neglected then yes. Like my relationship for example, my s/o has viewed it ALMOST daily for the past month and we've only been intimate, I'll say, 3 times in the past 2 months. He does it when he knows I'll be gone for quite a while and he goes to bed WAY later than I do so by the time he finally comes to bed, I'm passed out. I have confronted him about it quite a few times (this is a recurring problem) but all it does is cause a lot of stress, him not doing it for a while, then starting back up once he knows he's in the "clear". I'm just going to play my part, avoid ALL intimacy until he comes to me. If he doesn't after some time, I'll just blow up. It'll be hell! LOL

My wife has made it clear that she does not appreciate porn and doesn't want me to view it. So, the magazines were thrown away, the videos given away and the computer is on "Moderate Filtering." Having said that, although I respect her position and will comply, I disagree that there is anything wrong with looking at it. It isn't cheating. You should feel fortunate that he isn't getting it from a hooker. OTOH, if he would rather do that than do you, you should ask him to go to counseling with you to find out more about what is going on in your relationship.

If you felt cheated by your ex-husband, then you were cheated. Just like when swingers get together with another couple and don't feel like they're being cheated, then they're not being cheated. Feeling cheated is up to you. You married a guy that wasn't good for you. Now you should move on. If you ever consider marrying again, tell the new guy about your experience with your ex, and that you don't want to feel that way again.

It's close enough to cheating to feel like cheating. In any addiction, it also will grow and worsen. In a sexual addiction, that can include harder core porn, ie, bestiality, kiddie porn, etc. In addition, it can move into the sphere of dating sites and cyber affairs, sharing sexual pics, etc, and physical affairs or prostitutes. BTDT My husband had both a porn addiction and a cyber-affair. They were too close to one another to define which hurt more than which. I do know that until he stopped the porn with professional help, I was unable to look past the affair and heal myself and our marriage.

Do you remember what a serial killer once said on TV can't remember hisname...I think he was a professor) about how he started to kill women? He said he started with porn....I blieve that when a person starts viewing porn that they have opened the door for a variety of horrids to occur. They start with porn and like another ABer said....it gets worse with harder porn and then bestiality, kiddie porn and can get even to the point of going to prostitutes then to forcing women to have sex with them...being rape and maybe having to kill the to get away with it. You will no longer be attractive to them because of what they have seen. To me yes this is cheating ...being a Christian the WORD says that just looking at a woman and fantasizing is cheating.....I know many will disagree with me...but hey it is my opinion. It will destroy a person and a marriage....I dealt with it one time and thank GOD it ended real quick...I don't tolerate it at all in my marriage. I thank GOD with HIS help it ended so quickly. I have a great husband that I've told it degrades a woman for her man to look at other woman in that way. He has respected me enough to not dabble in that. It is a sickness.

I think it cheating when it is a secret. When you have asked if your Husband / Wife if they like it and they say NO. Then 100% it is. If it is open and both of agree and so forth then it could be seen as not cheating.