With perseverence and an open heart. Trust is one of those things that you tend to take for granted until it is lost and then you realise what an integral part of a relationship it is. There is no straight line from A to B in regaining trust; it takes hard work and courage but if you can see an end goal that you want, fight your way to it. Don't deny your instincts either. Emotional betrayal is a harder enemy to battle than physical betrayal really because its intangible and leaves so many doubts. To regain it means being very transparent about what your doing and thinking which means you have to know those things clearly yourselves.

You start with communication and finding out why it materialised to begin with. After knowlege, you work on how to move on. Work hard and honestly with lines of communcation wide open. Get deep and allow each other to speak honestly without judgement of true feelings. People tend to speak more honestly if they don't feel like they're being judged for their thoughts or opinions. The breakdown didn't happen overnight and the rebuild won't either, but if you truly want it to work, the time and energy is worth it.

You need to begin with an honest conversation about why one of you felt you needed an emotional affair. You need to commit to improving communicaiton between you and be prepared for some ups and downs. It does get better with time and then one day you realise that it is in the past and you can look forward to the future again.

Wow...I wish I could tell you that I know because my marriage has survived my husband's affair, but it is dying as we speak. Even though we are probably headed for divorce, I can tell you some guidelines of what not to do. If you are the spouse who cheated: Don't tell your partner that you are done talking about it, that it is over and they just need to move on. Don't think drinking will bring a solution. Don't look to others to fill in the communication gap. Don't blame your spouse for your mistake. Don't expect forgiveness until they feel comfortable with you again. This takes years not weeks. If you are the one who got cheated on: Don't stop communicating. Listen to what your partner is telling you, without judgement. Try to forgive. Talk, talk, talk and when you are tired of talking, talk some more. Have some fun during this time. Have some "date nights." We get married and stop having fun and then wonder why the other person is so (grumpy, tired, boring, etc). Marriage is work and if both of you are willing then there is no reason why it can't succeed. I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope things work out for you both.