I am a white woman who likes a black man. My family was raised in the country and so they do not really care for black people. I am worried that if I pursue the relationship it will hurt my family relationship. What should I do? I am torn..

Not an easy question. No easy answer. I want to say, "Don't worry about what they think, and follow your heart."

Having said that, my wife was engaged to a black man for 4 years. Her family rejected him then, but deny it now. Her relationship with her family still suffers from it. Beyond that, my family found out about him, and look at me funny now.

Should it matter? No. Does it? A little.

Not to me, but it's tough seeing family freak out about such a small thing as melanin.

Ultimately, I'd say go for it, but know in advance the long term effect it can have. Hope you find happiness with whoever you end up with.

Comments

Thank you for your input. I feel the same way, it should not matter, but I know it does. My family is number one in my life and I don't want to do anything to disappoint them, but at the same time I don't want to pass something up that can be turn out to be my ultimate happiness. I guess I should also add that I have dated some of the guys in his department. From a regular security officer to supervisor and now to him, the manager. I also fear retaliation if things do not work out with us. What a mix of issues, huh?
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by MandyCandyApple on June 24th, 2008
I sympathize, I'm a woman of color and I've always dated white guys. I totally understand how you feel. Yes, our choices are never easy.
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by PrettyDoctor on July 27th, 2008
Maybe you should expand the scope of your search beyond your workplace.
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by krazymike on July 28th, 2008
NUMBER1, THE WHITE GUY WHO HAS THE WHITE WIFE WHO STRUNG SOME HAD FEELINGS FOR HER MAN ALONG TILL SHE GOT HER WHITE HUSBAND TO SPEAK FOR HER WITH THE STYLE AND GRACE OF A IN HIS WISDOM IS A FOOL HUSBAND SHE MAY HAVE STRUNG YOU ALONG TOO. FOR FOUR YEARS SHE PLAYED LETS PLAY JUMP FROM BED TO BED, AND YOU AND THE black man were the only two you ever thought about. WHILE SHE WAS OUT SOWING OATS SHE MAY HAVE BEEN PLAYING IN MORE THAN TWO HAY FIELDS.MAN THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO TAKE STUPIDITY SERIOUSLY. TO CHOOSE TO BE DUMB IS STUPID.
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by Kella_T on April 11th, 2011

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I am a white woman who likes a black man. My family was raised in the country and so they do not really care for black people. I am worried that if I pursue the relationship it will hurt my family relationship. What should I do? I am torn..

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I am a white woman who likes a black man. My family was raised in the country and so they do not really care for black people. I am worried that if I pursue the relationship it will hurt my family relationship. What should I do? I am torn..

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