by officer_mary on June 16th, 2008

officer_mary

Question

Help answer this question below.

I've waited over 20 years for the man that I love to be divorced and now he is but has a girlfriend he doesn't want to hurt but says there are problems. Should I move on or keep waiting?

  • Like
  • Report

Answers. 99 helpful answers below.

  • by Lord Knows on June 16th, 2008

    Lord Knows

    You waiting 20 years and now he has a girlfriend?!?

    Go by what he does NOT by what he says... This guy doesn't give a hoot about you. You have already waiting 19 years and 11 months too long from where I see it. Let that fish go and get new tackle... he's not the only man you'll ever love.

    • Like
    • Report

    3 comments | Post one | Permalink

  • by katespana on July 7th, 2008

    katespana

    You say you waited for him to be divorced but you just hooked up recently and found each other again? Didn't you see him in between? How did you know he'd get divorced? Or did you have an affair? He sounds as if he wants his cake and eat it too. You shouldn't wait around any longer anyway. If he loved you this other girlfriend would be history. Get outta there, now!

    • Like
    • Report

    3 comments | Post one | Permalink

  • by Tex on July 10th, 2008

    Tex

    You shoulda moved on when the man got married 20+ years ago.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Simply msFortunate on July 7th, 2008

    Simply msFortunate

    You need to get your priorities straight and work on YOUR happiness. It may seem like the only thing you'll ever want, but it's not. You'll find someone else who is willing to be there for you 100% and not put your feelings on the shelf.

    Quit compromising your needs and do something for yourself. Tell him you've been done waiting for a long time, and you're moving on. He doesn't deserve you.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by DA BEN DAN yanggui zi on July 7th, 2008

    DA BEN DAN yanggui zi

    What on earth are you waiting for? He has told you for over 20 years that it isn't going to happen..Move on with your life!!

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Blue Eyes on July 7th, 2008

    Blue Eyes

    Oh sweetie, find someone else. There are better guys out there that won't take you for granted. If he really wanted to be with you, he would have found you after his divorce. You deserve to be happy and twenty years is long enough.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by shady on August 1st, 2008

    shady

    you know the answer already but I'll say it again Move on

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Pete Parker on August 1st, 2008

    Pete Parker

    Move on. Think about it...he ran to her and not you. How long do you want to be second banana. His mixed signals should tell you he doesn't really know himself what he wants as he has not strung three women along. Make the hard call and get as far away from him as you can. There are millions of single guys out there. Close your eyes and pick one and guess what, he's available. Work on that relationship and not the Mr. indecisive.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by ryans princess on June 16th, 2008

    ryans princess

    This guy was married? Wait what? Ok let me get this straight ... this guy was married for 20 years while you waited on him to leave his wife? YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU GET. THINK ABOUT THE HELL SHES GOING THROUGH! DEAR GOD!!!!

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by BlueJordan on October 24th, 2008

    BlueJordan

    As the song says: Keep on movin' don't stop.. yeah!
    In plain english: YOU DON'T NEED HIM so MOVE THE HECK ON!!!

    If he truly loved you in the first place, he would have been divorced a hell of a long time ago.

    Go find yourself a man who only wants you and you alone. And will put you NUMERO UNO!!! #1

    YOU HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE, EXPERIENCES TO EXPERIENCE, PEOPLE TO MEET, THINGS TO DO, PLACES TO GO and yes.. FALL IN LOVE with a someone special. It ain't him.

    • Like
    • Report

    2 comments | Post one | Permalink

  • by Wide Awake @ has closing date woo hoo on August 1st, 2008

    Wide Awake @ has closing date woo hoo

    You should have moved on about 19.5 years ago.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Pretty Lady on August 1st, 2008

    Pretty Lady

    He does not love you, if he did, why does he have a girlfriend.

    Let go, you are hanging on to nothing.

    He is not worth your time and your life.

    You will never be happy with him.

    Move on dear, and find someone who is worthy of you.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by jillashlee123 on August 1st, 2008

    jillashlee123

    MOVE ON!!

    you wasted 20 years of your life!!

    if he wanted you he would have been with you.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by ILuvAnimals on August 1st, 2008

    ILuvAnimals

    It is time to move on. Sounds like it was time to move on long, long ago. This guy is a jerk that will just string you along if you let him. Just stop talking to this guy. Do not see him. Move away if you must but get on with your life. You are wasting time and missing out on your own happiness. You deserve better!!

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Mark Hardy on July 14th, 2008

    Mark Hardy

    Simple. Find someone else. Don't look back for him even if he try to approach you.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Anonymous on July 10th, 2008

    Anonymous

    I agree with all the other comments given. Move on love. Don't waste your life anymore than you have on a guy that does not care. You are not in love with him, you are obsessed, big difference. Have faith in yourself, find something you love to do. Be free, join clubs, online dating, meet lots of men, and then you will find, you never really loved this guy anyway. (Sorry if I am being insensitive). I mean it in a constructive way. Don't waste anymore time. He doesnt love you or care about you. If he did, he would have been with you in the last 20 years, not with someone else. Please get help, and move on. Please. I feel so sad for you.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Anonymous on July 7th, 2008

    Anonymous

    Life's too short to wait that long. Move on and have fun... But remember that if you two are really meant to be, you'll find your way back together someday :)

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Anonymous on July 7th, 2008

    Anonymous

    You should have moved on 20 years ago. Sorry for your troubles.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Blackope-Knowledge is Power on July 7th, 2008

    Blackope-Knowledge is Power

    That depends on what you have planned for the rest of your life. You have waisted 20 years waiting, do you have another 20 to throw away? Wouldn't it be easier going out and finding a man who is unattached rather then waiting for someone elses man to become unattached?

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by TaylorMade on October 24th, 2008

    TaylorMade

    You're about a patient booger aren't ya? Might as well ride it on out. I mean really, how much longer could it take? A life time?

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by cscampbell on October 24th, 2008

    cscampbell

    Oh man, 20 years, wish you could get those back. He's never gonna be yours dear.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by onebigone on October 24th, 2008

    onebigone

    Move on. Let his ex-wife and new girlfriend know about you. He has used you for too long.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by jas on October 13th, 2008

    jas

    I can't believe you waited twenty years.. don't wait one more day, get a life for yourself, you don't need a guy to live your life. I knew of someone that had a 30 year affair with a married guy.. he died and the woman couldn't even attend the wake.. I'm not sure of the particulars, it was a friends Aunt, but she may have felt her appearance would have aroused suspicion. If you can't love someone out in the open, then you should know it isn't the right thing to do and will only hurt you in the end. He left a wife and choose a new girlfriend and you're still trying to hang on.. don't do it. Wake up tomorrow and turn the page.. onto better things.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Pretty Lady on October 6th, 2008

    Pretty Lady

    My dear, this man does not love you, he is very selfish, you wasted 20 years of your life, don't waste anymore time.

    He is selfish and self center, if he loved you, then why does he have a girlfriend, he is a person who wants the whole thing.

    Move on, please for your own sake, this man is a waste.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Ms.Me on October 6th, 2008

    Ms.Me

    I say you think that you love this man, but that is not love. The same time and devotion you put into WAITING patiently, devote it to you, and be happy. You only live once... was a waste to spend so much time on one person who does not feel the same about you. You deserve better, but until you realize this for YOURSELF you will not move... Its time to work on you.
    Move ON !!!!

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Mentalmum is back on October 6th, 2008

    Mentalmum  is back

    OH honey.. move on and get on with your life!
    what a waste of all those years, he has no intention of spending time with you - cant you see that??

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Anonymous on October 6th, 2008

    Anonymous

    How long are you ready, willing and eager to be this asshat's doormat? That you even ask this question - after waiting around for 20 years - suggests you really need some counseling to figure out why you have let yourself be treated this way for so long, and why you don't move on and take control of your life and find an actual partner who wants to be with you.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on October 6th, 2008

    TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT

    depends, how many more years do you want to waste?

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Mara1979 on October 6th, 2008

    Mara1979

    Are you serious???? Why on earth did you wait THIS long??? Move on hun, he is just using you as his fall back woman. Its disgusting.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by 40ishVoiceofReason on October 6th, 2008

    40ishVoiceofReason

    MOVE ON!
    He doesn't want you.
    He used you knowing you would always be there.
    And he doesn't feel guilty about it either.
    He has just moved on to another model! (the g/f)
    Get out of his bed and never look back.
    Don't waste another minute on this leach!
    Time to be happy with someone who is willing to legally commit to you.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by katydid15 on August 1st, 2008

    katydid15

    You should definitely move on. You should have thought about doing that about 19 years, 11 months and 3 weeks ago actually, but what is done is done.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by surrealabyss on August 1st, 2008

    surrealabyss

    Put your walking shoes on girlfriend theres another guy down the street 2 buy you a new pair.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by john pennington on July 7th, 2008

    john pennington

    How long before you can draw Social Security?

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Gene H on November 7th, 2009

    Gene H

    You waited 20 years and he has a girlfriend? You aren't the brightest light on the christmas tree. I guess you should wait some more, then.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by happiness on November 7th, 2009

    happiness

    You should have married someone and have your son or daughter inlaw now... are you kidding 20 years ? what a waste of time..LOL.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by susue on November 7th, 2009

    susue

    i say good riddens this guy.It sounds like he is stringing you along for whatever reason. there are plenty of nice guys out there that will love only you for you.
    good luck

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by ShePrime on November 3rd, 2009

    ShePrime

    Don't waste you time on this guy! The reason he made you wait for so long and now he has a girlfriend is because he does not respect or love you. Let go of this loser and find someone who will appreciate and respect you!

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by roiboysatx on September 6th, 2009

    roiboysatx

    wow you waited for 20 years and now he has a gf. sweetie wake up. he has been using you and stringing you along. and he will continue to do so as long as you fall for his stories.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Runs with scissors on September 6th, 2009

    Runs with scissors

    girlfriend..serious?drop him like a bad habit,

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Anonymous on August 13th, 2009

    Anonymous

    Keep waiting; patience is a virtue...

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Thriftymaid on August 13th, 2009

    Thriftymaid

    You should have moved on 20 years ago hon.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by ♥AngelHeart♥ on July 25th, 2009

    ♥AngelHeart♥

    I agree with the others. This man has strung you along for over 20 years. It's time to break all ties with him and start thinking of yourself. You deserve so much more than this man will ever give you. I also agree that he does not Love you. I know that sounds cold and I'm sorry for that. Someone who honestly Loves you would not put you through what this man has done for over 20 years. I know it hurts but it is time to move on. Find a good man who honestly Loves you and wants to be with only you. I wish you the very best.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by dan18r on July 25th, 2009

    dan18r

    I'm sorry but your an idiot for waiting 20 years.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by dancer on July 22nd, 2009

    dancer

    I have done something similar to you. I have waited 20 years (but had a life in the meantime), but he is the Love of my Life. We were separated and through a myriad of events could not find or contact each other. We've had one e-mail. If he says he's in love in any form with anyone else, I have to wipe him out of my mind forever. He was the best man I have ever known.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Daisy85 on February 6th, 2009

    Daisy85

    He does not want you. Plain and simple.

    If he did than for one he would have left his wife along time ago, and when he and his wife did split he would have came right to you, not to another woman.

    You have wasted enough of your life on this man, MOVE ON.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Sosueme on February 6th, 2009

    Sosueme

    Should have moved on about 19 and a half years ago.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by TeaBerry on February 6th, 2009

    TeaBerry

    Are you kidding?! MOVE ON!!! Never wait for a guy to leave someone else EVER! If you're worth it to him, he'd be honest with himself and the person he's with. The fact that he got together with someone else says that he just flat out doesn't care about you in that way despite anything he's told you. Love can be complicated. I'm not saying that you have to force yourself to stop loving a person. That's not really possible. You just have to let these feeling for him change into something less involved, because he doesn't seem to want you involved or he's toying with you.
    Have some self respect and live your own life with someone who loves you as much as you love them.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by anddeb on February 5th, 2009

    anddeb

    You have waisted 20 years of your life. You are a convinence and security for the guy. He cares nothing about you or has no respect for you. He has a new girlfriend and it is not you. Face it. you have been used and he is still using you. Move on and get you a life.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Angel7 on February 5th, 2009

    Angel7

    Over 20 years? oh my gravyie!! While I do understand that everyone is different, every situation is different but didn't anyone ever tell you that if a person happen to be married, head for the door and keep on walking?. Getting too attached is a big mistake especially those who are already in a relationship or married. You have to think real hard do you want to get into a situation like that yourself, I just think it's a train-wreck waiting to happen...

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by RosieGHM Jetpacker on February 5th, 2009

    RosieGHM Jetpacker

    You wasted 20 years. Do you really want to waste the rest of your life?

    • Like
    • Report

    2 comments | Post one | Permalink

Want to attach an image to your answer? Click here.

Did this answer your question? If not, then ask a new question or create a poll.

You're reading I've waited over 20 years for the man that I love to be divorced and now he is but has a girlfriend he doesn't want to hurt but says there are problems. Should I move on or keep waiting?

Follow us on Facebook!

Related Ads

ANSWERBAG BUZZ

Ive waited a long time to find you
Waited 20 years for the one you love
Out work over20 yrs find work
I ve waited for 5 years for one guy
20yrs i loved him and waited