I've waited over 20 years for the man that I love to be divorced and now he is but has a girlfriend he doesn't want to hurt but says there are problems. Should I move on or keep waiting?

You waiting 20 years and now he has a girlfriend?!?

Go by what he does NOT by what he says... This guy doesn't give a hoot about you. You have already waiting 19 years and 11 months too long from where I see it. Let that fish go and get new tackle... he's not the only man you'll ever love.

You say you waited for him to be divorced but you just hooked up recently and found each other again? Didn't you see him in between? How did you know he'd get divorced? Or did you have an affair? He sounds as if he wants his cake and eat it too. You shouldn't wait around any longer anyway. If he loved you this other girlfriend would be history. Get outta there, now!

You shoulda moved on when the man got married 20+ years ago.

You need to get your priorities straight and work on YOUR happiness. It may seem like the only thing you'll ever want, but it's not. You'll find someone else who is willing to be there for you 100% and not put your feelings on the shelf.

Quit compromising your needs and do something for yourself. Tell him you've been done waiting for a long time, and you're moving on. He doesn't deserve you.

What on earth are you waiting for? He has told you for over 20 years that it isn't going to happen..Move on with your life!!

Oh sweetie, find someone else. There are better guys out there that won't take you for granted. If he really wanted to be with you, he would have found you after his divorce. You deserve to be happy and twenty years is long enough.

you know the answer already but I'll say it again Move on

Move on. Think about it...he ran to her and not you. How long do you want to be second banana. His mixed signals should tell you he doesn't really know himself what he wants as he has not strung three women along. Make the hard call and get as far away from him as you can. There are millions of single guys out there. Close your eyes and pick one and guess what, he's available. Work on that relationship and not the Mr. indecisive.

This guy was married? Wait what? Ok let me get this straight ... this guy was married for 20 years while you waited on him to leave his wife? YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU GET. THINK ABOUT THE HELL SHES GOING THROUGH! DEAR GOD!!!!

As the song says: Keep on movin' don't stop.. yeah!
In plain english: YOU DON'T NEED HIM so MOVE THE HECK ON!!!

If he truly loved you in the first place, he would have been divorced a hell of a long time ago.

Go find yourself a man who only wants you and you alone. And will put you NUMERO UNO!!! #1

YOU HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE, EXPERIENCES TO EXPERIENCE, PEOPLE TO MEET, THINGS TO DO, PLACES TO GO and yes.. FALL IN LOVE with a someone special. It ain't him.

You should have moved on about 19.5 years ago.

He does not love you, if he did, why does he have a girlfriend.

Let go, you are hanging on to nothing.

He is not worth your time and your life.

You will never be happy with him.

Move on dear, and find someone who is worthy of you.

MOVE ON!!

you wasted 20 years of your life!!

if he wanted you he would have been with you.

It is time to move on. Sounds like it was time to move on long, long ago. This guy is a jerk that will just string you along if you let him. Just stop talking to this guy. Do not see him. Move away if you must but get on with your life. You are wasting time and missing out on your own happiness. You deserve better!!

Simple. Find someone else. Don't look back for him even if he try to approach you.

I agree with all the other comments given. Move on love. Don't waste your life anymore than you have on a guy that does not care. You are not in love with him, you are obsessed, big difference. Have faith in yourself, find something you love to do. Be free, join clubs, online dating, meet lots of men, and then you will find, you never really loved this guy anyway. (Sorry if I am being insensitive). I mean it in a constructive way. Don't waste anymore time. He doesnt love you or care about you. If he did, he would have been with you in the last 20 years, not with someone else. Please get help, and move on. Please. I feel so sad for you.

Life's too short to wait that long. Move on and have fun... But remember that if you two are really meant to be, you'll find your way back together someday :)

You should have moved on 20 years ago. Sorry for your troubles.

That depends on what you have planned for the rest of your life. You have waisted 20 years waiting, do you have another 20 to throw away? Wouldn't it be easier going out and finding a man who is unattached rather then waiting for someone elses man to become unattached?

You're about a patient booger aren't ya? Might as well ride it on out. I mean really, how much longer could it take? A life time?

Oh man, 20 years, wish you could get those back. He's never gonna be yours dear.

Move on. Let his ex-wife and new girlfriend know about you. He has used you for too long.

I can't believe you waited twenty years.. don't wait one more day, get a life for yourself, you don't need a guy to live your life. I knew of someone that had a 30 year affair with a married guy.. he died and the woman couldn't even attend the wake.. I'm not sure of the particulars, it was a friends Aunt, but she may have felt her appearance would have aroused suspicion. If you can't love someone out in the open, then you should know it isn't the right thing to do and will only hurt you in the end. He left a wife and choose a new girlfriend and you're still trying to hang on.. don't do it. Wake up tomorrow and turn the page.. onto better things.

My dear, this man does not love you, he is very selfish, you wasted 20 years of your life, don't waste anymore time.

He is selfish and self center, if he loved you, then why does he have a girlfriend, he is a person who wants the whole thing.

Move on, please for your own sake, this man is a waste.

I say you think that you love this man, but that is not love. The same time and devotion you put into WAITING patiently, devote it to you, and be happy. You only live once... was a waste to spend so much time on one person who does not feel the same about you. You deserve better, but until you realize this for YOURSELF you will not move... Its time to work on you.
Move ON !!!!

OH honey.. move on and get on with your life!
what a waste of all those years, he has no intention of spending time with you - cant you see that??

How long are you ready, willing and eager to be this asshat's doormat? That you even ask this question - after waiting around for 20 years - suggests you really need some counseling to figure out why you have let yourself be treated this way for so long, and why you don't move on and take control of your life and find an actual partner who wants to be with you.

depends, how many more years do you want to waste?

Are you serious???? Why on earth did you wait THIS long??? Move on hun, he is just using you as his fall back woman. Its disgusting.

MOVE ON!
He doesn't want you.
He used you knowing you would always be there.
And he doesn't feel guilty about it either.
He has just moved on to another model! (the g/f)
Get out of his bed and never look back.
Don't waste another minute on this leach!
Time to be happy with someone who is willing to legally commit to you.

You should definitely move on. You should have thought about doing that about 19 years, 11 months and 3 weeks ago actually, but what is done is done.

Put your walking shoes on girlfriend theres another guy down the street 2 buy you a new pair.

How long before you can draw Social Security?

You waited 20 years and he has a girlfriend? You aren't the brightest light on the christmas tree. I guess you should wait some more, then.

You should have married someone and have your son or daughter inlaw now... are you kidding 20 years ? what a waste of time..LOL.

i say good riddens this guy.It sounds like he is stringing you along for whatever reason. there are plenty of nice guys out there that will love only you for you.
good luck

Don't waste you time on this guy! The reason he made you wait for so long and now he has a girlfriend is because he does not respect or love you. Let go of this loser and find someone who will appreciate and respect you!

wow you waited for 20 years and now he has a gf. sweetie wake up. he has been using you and stringing you along. and he will continue to do so as long as you fall for his stories.

girlfriend..serious?drop him like a bad habit,

Keep waiting; patience is a virtue...

You should have moved on 20 years ago hon.

I agree with the others. This man has strung you along for over 20 years. It's time to break all ties with him and start thinking of yourself. You deserve so much more than this man will ever give you. I also agree that he does not Love you. I know that sounds cold and I'm sorry for that. Someone who honestly Loves you would not put you through what this man has done for over 20 years. I know it hurts but it is time to move on. Find a good man who honestly Loves you and wants to be with only you. I wish you the very best.

I'm sorry but your an idiot for waiting 20 years.

I have done something similar to you. I have waited 20 years (but had a life in the meantime), but he is the Love of my Life. We were separated and through a myriad of events could not find or contact each other. We've had one e-mail. If he says he's in love in any form with anyone else, I have to wipe him out of my mind forever. He was the best man I have ever known.

He does not want you. Plain and simple.

If he did than for one he would have left his wife along time ago, and when he and his wife did split he would have came right to you, not to another woman.

You have wasted enough of your life on this man, MOVE ON.

Should have moved on about 19 and a half years ago.

Are you kidding?! MOVE ON!!! Never wait for a guy to leave someone else EVER! If you're worth it to him, he'd be honest with himself and the person he's with. The fact that he got together with someone else says that he just flat out doesn't care about you in that way despite anything he's told you. Love can be complicated. I'm not saying that you have to force yourself to stop loving a person. That's not really possible. You just have to let these feeling for him change into something less involved, because he doesn't seem to want you involved or he's toying with you.
Have some self respect and live your own life with someone who loves you as much as you love them.

You have waisted 20 years of your life. You are a convinence and security for the guy. He cares nothing about you or has no respect for you. He has a new girlfriend and it is not you. Face it. you have been used and he is still using you. Move on and get you a life.

Over 20 years? oh my gravyie!! While I do understand that everyone is different, every situation is different but didn't anyone ever tell you that if a person happen to be married, head for the door and keep on walking?. Getting too attached is a big mistake especially those who are already in a relationship or married. You have to think real hard do you want to get into a situation like that yourself, I just think it's a train-wreck waiting to happen...

You wasted 20 years. Do you really want to waste the rest of your life?