You waiting 20 years and now he has a girlfriend?!? Go by what he does NOT by what he says... This guy doesn't give a hoot about you. You have already waiting 19 years and 11 months too long from where I see it. Let that fish go and get new tackle... he's not the only man you'll ever love.

This guy was married? Wait what? Ok let me get this straight ... this guy was married for 20 years while you waited on him to leave his wife? YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU GET. THINK ABOUT THE HELL SHES GOING THROUGH! DEAR GOD!!!!

Oh sweetie, find someone else. There are better guys out there that won't take you for granted. If he really wanted to be with you, he would have found you after his divorce. You deserve to be happy and twenty years is long enough.

What on earth are you waiting for? He has told you for over 20 years that it isn't going to happen..Move on with your life!!

You say you waited for him to be divorced but you just hooked up recently and found each other again? Didn't you see him in between? How did you know he'd get divorced? Or did you have an affair? He sounds as if he wants his cake and eat it too. You shouldn't wait around any longer anyway. If he loved you this other girlfriend would be history. Get outta there, now!

You need to get your priorities straight and work on YOUR happiness. It may seem like the only thing you'll ever want, but it's not. You'll find someone else who is willing to be there for you 100% and not put your feelings on the shelf. Quit compromising your needs and do something for yourself. Tell him you've been done waiting for a long time, and you're moving on. He doesn't deserve you.

That depends on what you have planned for the rest of your life. You have waisted 20 years waiting, do you have another 20 to throw away? Wouldn't it be easier going out and finding a man who is unattached rather then waiting for someone elses man to become unattached?

I think that if you have waited this long why not wait a little bit longer to get what you have been thinking for 20 years will make you happy. But I want to warn you what you get isnt always as it seems.

You should have moved on 20 years ago. Sorry for your troubles.

Life's too short to wait that long. Move on and have fun... But remember that if you two are really meant to be, you'll find your way back together someday :)

How long before you can draw Social Security?

I agree with all the other comments given. Move on love. Don't waste your life anymore than you have on a guy that does not care. You are not in love with him, you are obsessed, big difference. Have faith in yourself, find something you love to do. Be free, join clubs, online dating, meet lots of men, and then you will find, you never really loved this guy anyway. (Sorry if I am being insensitive). I mean it in a constructive way. Don't waste anymore time. He doesnt love you or care about you. If he did, he would have been with you in the last 20 years, not with someone else. Please get help, and move on. Please. I feel so sad for you.

You shoulda moved on when the man got married 20+ years ago.

Simple. Find someone else. Don't look back for him even if he try to approach you.

Move on. Think about it...he ran to her and not you. How long do you want to be second banana. His mixed signals should tell you he doesn't really know himself what he wants as he has not strung three women along. Make the hard call and get as far away from him as you can. There are millions of single guys out there. Close your eyes and pick one and guess what, he's available. Work on that relationship and not the Mr. indecisive.

you know the answer already but I'll say it again Move on

Put your walking shoes on girlfriend theres another guy down the street 2 buy you a new pair.

It is time to move on. Sounds like it was time to move on long, long ago. This guy is a jerk that will just string you along if you let him. Just stop talking to this guy. Do not see him. Move away if you must but get on with your life. You are wasting time and missing out on your own happiness. You deserve better!!

You should have left twenty years ago! He did the same thing to you that he did to his ex-wife: He left you for another woman!

You should move on. I think that you feel that he is The One and that you don't want to move on. Maybe you're scared of falling in love again. But isn't 20 years a huge wake-up call already? Did he gave you a chance and see you?! (instead of being blind by the wife) If he feels nothing, then please move on. Your life is too precious to waste on a single man. You need to move on and forget about him. 20 years is too long to waste on a man, and you should consider finding someone else. There are plenty of other guys! Have you told him that he is The One and that you waited for him? Do not keep on waiting. You should forget about him and look for other options.

Whats another 20 years?

You should definitely move on. You should have thought about doing that about 19 years, 11 months and 3 weeks ago actually, but what is done is done.

This is all wonderful advice. You are only asking for heartache if you have to wait for someone this long. They will always have one excuse after another for WHY you cannot be together.

MOVE ON!! you wasted 20 years of your life!! if he wanted you he would have been with you.

Move on? bury the bastard.

He does not love you, if he did, why does he have a girlfriend. Let go, you are hanging on to nothing. He is not worth your time and your life. You will never be happy with him. Move on dear, and find someone who is worthy of you.

I would only wait 20-30 years more then move on.

You should have moved on about 19.5 years ago.

Well if you waited 20 for him to get divorced..and when he did you still werent his first choice ( he has another girlfriend ) I would say...its time to move on..

I lost touch w/ a old flame after high school..25 yrs later,we got back in touch and started emailing,etc she was in the process of a divorce.6 yrs later i was divorced and we finally got together.I fell EXTREMELY hard for her(it was as if we were 18 again)...6mos together we parted ways(still communicated as friends)...8 mos later she remarried and i didn't find out until almost a yr later.(She emailed me and her named was changed......"se la vie,say the old folks you know you never can tell......"

MOVE ON! He doesn't want you. He used you knowing you would always be there. And he doesn't feel guilty about it either. He has just moved on to another model! (the g/f) Get out of his bed and never look back. Don't waste another minute on this leach! Time to be happy with someone who is willing to legally commit to you.

Are you serious???? Why on earth did you wait THIS long??? Move on hun, he is just using you as his fall back woman. Its disgusting.

what you need to do is go to a counselor. Anybody who waits over 20 years for a man to leave his wife has some issues to work through! Leave him now and start your life before you die!

depends, how many more years do you want to waste?

How long are you ready, willing and eager to be this asshat's doormat? That you even ask this question - after waiting around for 20 years - suggests you really need some counseling to figure out why you have let yourself be treated this way for so long, and why you don't move on and take control of your life and find an actual partner who wants to be with you.

really? you waited 20 years for what? you've been celibate for 20 years waiting for a married man?

OH honey.. move on and get on with your life! what a waste of all those years, he has no intention of spending time with you - cant you see that??

If you've waited 20 years for him to get a divorce ... I think you maybe waiting another 100 years to propose... If he's already got another girl... I think it's safe for you to move on. Find that bloke that really deserves you! Don't let your life go to waste.

I say you think that you love this man, but that is not love. The same time and devotion you put into WAITING patiently, devote it to you, and be happy. You only live once... was a waste to spend so much time on one person who does not feel the same about you. You deserve better, but until you realize this for YOURSELF you will not move... Its time to work on you. Move ON !!!!

My dear, this man does not love you, he is very selfish, you wasted 20 years of your life, don't waste anymore time. He is selfish and self center, if he loved you, then why does he have a girlfriend, he is a person who wants the whole thing. Move on, please for your own sake, this man is a waste.

Oh my GAWD! Honey, move on. He obviously doesn't give a crap about you or else he would have been with you 20 years ago.

omg move on hun,sit down befor you hurt yourself :) not worth the wait at this stage, ul only get hurt like that!xxx

I can't believe you waited twenty years.. don't wait one more day, get a life for yourself, you don't need a guy to live your life. I knew of someone that had a 30 year affair with a married guy.. he died and the woman couldn't even attend the wake.. I'm not sure of the particulars, it was a friends Aunt, but she may have felt her appearance would have aroused suspicion. If you can't love someone out in the open, then you should know it isn't the right thing to do and will only hurt you in the end. He left a wife and choose a new girlfriend and you're still trying to hang on.. don't do it. Wake up tomorrow and turn the page.. onto better things.

Move on. Let his ex-wife and new girlfriend know about you. He has used you for too long.

Oh man, 20 years, wish you could get those back. He's never gonna be yours dear.

Apparently he doesn't feel the same if right after divorce he got a girlfriend. Just let him go. You will find a man who really really wants you and will not use you or other people to feel good.

As the song says: Keep on movin' don't stop.. yeah! In plain english: YOU DON'T NEED HIM so MOVE THE HECK ON!!! If he truly loved you in the first place, he would have been divorced a hell of a long time ago. Go find yourself a man who only wants you and you alone. And will put you NUMERO UNO!!! #1 YOU HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE, EXPERIENCES TO EXPERIENCE, PEOPLE TO MEET, THINGS TO DO, PLACES TO GO and yes.. FALL IN LOVE with a someone special. It ain't him.

moooooooooooove onnnnnnnnnn ;)

I say you already waited 20 years longer than you should have....people are where they want to be. Find someone who actually appreciates you!

you might want to look for a different guy. even if he is single doesnt mean he would want you.

That's tragic. Send the story to Shakespeare, He could work it in as a subplot in one of his tragedies

Am I to understand that you were his mistress for 20 years then he divorces the wife when he's good and ready but gets himself another woman? Oh, man, that would be cruel and unusual punishment!

You're about a patient booger aren't ya? Might as well ride it on out. I mean really, how much longer could it take? A life time?

STOP waiting! Seriously it will be hard, especially after 20 years (I can't help but think you have made him into someone he really isn't - like the one for you) I'm so sorry but you really need to free yourself of him so you can be free to be loved by someone that will love you with all of his heart! (and its just not this guy)

20 years is too long to wait, leave the prince and find a king

I don't know the details of your relationship with him to know if there is a realistic chance or not, but I will say that one of the things that has annoyed me most in my life is when this girl kept acting like she was the only one for me after I clearly made it known to her on several occasions that she did not have the slightest chance. She is still obsessed with me and I have to see her like twice a week at work. It's like she believes that God promised me to her or some crazy thing like that. I truly look forward to the day that I never have to see her again. I do hope it works out for you, but try not to be obsessed or anything.

move on now

He had his chance. You waited long enough don't you think. If he was a good man, you wouldn't have to wait even an hour. Besides, he dumped his wife! Someone he made vows to! Why would you want this man in your life? Be thankful that someone else took him off your hands. Best regards.

you have waited this man for 20 years and after devorce he has another girlfriend and he keeps you waiting. how long are going to wait for him? forever? i think pack your bags and move on he is not worth it, he is playing you like a toy from China. put a stop to this and move on.

20 years!? You are creepy. You wasted 20 YEARS. Get a clue and some self esteem. Put some stock in your own value. I wouldn't wait 20 days on somebody. While your sitting around waiting, he's off doing the family thing, like he should. Meanwhile your counting the days before wifey keels over? Oh, do you need to see a counselor or a priest.

Move on- today!!!!!! He doesnt want to be with you, plainly.

I admire your loyalty to this guy, but clearly he's not interested. He sure is missing out on a very devoted person though.

Move on........as fast as you can. This man is a player and a manipulator.

i would move on you have already wasted 20 years waiting on him and now he has a girlfriend that the says he dont want to hurt yea move on. he is not going to leave girlfriend stop being his door mat sorry but that is what i think is happenig. you could do so much better.

You should have moved on 20 years ago, why waist anymore of your life, you've already wasted so much.

Dont wait on him , life is too short. nothing will stop a aman from being with a woman that he love. He has a girlfriend and he says there are problems , oh yeah I belive him , this guy is lying , he says there are problems because he dont want to hurt your feeling , but think about it 20 years you were waiting and he still making excuses! he is just selfish guy , find a nother man and trust me when you are in love with someone else you will laugh at your self how you were in love with that guy. Look around you , give chance to other men to speak to you and give your self a chance

He's just not that into you! Move on.

I only have two questions for you. Why don't you want to be happy? If you did you wouldn't be waiting for him! Also, what makes you think that once you're with him (if that actually happens???) he will want to stay with you forever?

Why would you have wasted waiting 20 years for someone? I would have moved on a long time ago. Sounds to me like you have had tunnel vision for only him, most likely missing out on others you would have been happy to be with. If I were you, I'd move on. It's quite obvious that he didn't think of you when he got divorced or he wouldn't have a different girlfriend now. I wish you happiness in your future.

Move on!!!! If he was in love with you, the way you are with him, he would've run into your arms the minute he was divorced, not gotten a girlfriend. You are just a back-burner to him. Kick him in the balls the next time you see him with his GF.

You wasted 20 years. Do you really want to waste the rest of your life?

Depends. Are you OK with being used and taken for granted or do you want to have a life and a real relationship? He treats his wife like shit by sneaking around with you, and now that he is supposedly "available" he has another girlfriend other than you that he doesn't want to hurt, yet he's treating her like shit by sneaking around with you, and... Do you see a pattern here? Why precisely do you want this guy? People don't treat someone they love the way he has been treating you - or the way he's been treated his ex wife, his current girlfriend, etc. He's an ass. Do you love yourself enough to get a backbone and move on?

Hell, you already waited 20 years! What's a few more?

Over 20 years? oh my gravyie!! While I do understand that everyone is different, every situation is different but didn't anyone ever tell you that if a person happen to be married, head for the door and keep on walking?. Getting too attached is a big mistake especially those who are already in a relationship or married. You have to think real hard do you want to get into a situation like that yourself, I just think it's a train-wreck waiting to happen...

You have waisted 20 years of your life. You are a convinence and security for the guy. He cares nothing about you or has no respect for you. He has a new girlfriend and it is not you. Face it. you have been used and he is still using you. Move on and get you a life.

Are you kidding?! MOVE ON!!! Never wait for a guy to leave someone else EVER! If you're worth it to him, he'd be honest with himself and the person he's with. The fact that he got together with someone else says that he just flat out doesn't care about you in that way despite anything he's told you. Love can be complicated. I'm not saying that you have to force yourself to stop loving a person. That's not really possible. You just have to let these feeling for him change into something less involved, because he doesn't seem to want you involved or he's toying with you. Have some self respect and live your own life with someone who loves you as much as you love them.

Should have moved on about 19 and a half years ago.

He does not want you. Plain and simple. If he did than for one he would have left his wife along time ago, and when he and his wife did split he would have came right to you, not to another woman. You have wasted enough of your life on this man, MOVE ON.

I would have said get a life...but then you have wasted yours waiting for someone who doesn't want you. Did he know you waited? If he did, and to finally divorce his wife and have another girlfriend waiting in the wings....well.....why are you hanging around for?

Sadly and unfortunately you have wasted 20 precious years waiting for someone who never had any intent other than to keep someone on the side (you) in case he needed a backup. It will be difficult, but keep telling yourself that you've been blessed by NOT having married him, because you'd be just another notch on the belt. Next time you hear from him, tell him to get lost!!!! Get out and start circulating, and when you think you've met "the ONE" do some checking with mutual friends about his character, etc. I wish you the best!!!

The girlfriend should be a clue. This man is not worth waiting for, and he never intends to be solely with you. You have wasted the best years of your life, for nothing.

This guy is a LOSER and a JERK . Move on with your life ; I think when YOU found out he had a girlfriend ; that should have been a CLUE .. as if waiting 20 years wasn't enough .

You should have moved on 19 years ago.

I have done something similar to you. I have waited 20 years (but had a life in the meantime), but he is the Love of my Life. We were separated and through a myriad of events could not find or contact each other. We've had one e-mail. If he says he's in love in any form with anyone else, I have to wipe him out of my mind forever. He was the best man I have ever known.

I'm sorry but your an idiot for waiting 20 years.

I agree with the others. This man has strung you along for over 20 years. It's time to break all ties with him and start thinking of yourself. You deserve so much more than this man will ever give you. I also agree that he does not Love you. I know that sounds cold and I'm sorry for that. Someone who honestly Loves you would not put you through what this man has done for over 20 years. I know it hurts but it is time to move on. Find a good man who honestly Loves you and wants to be with only you. I wish you the very best.

omg yes please move on.... there is someone else out there 4 u..TRUST ME...

Do not wait any longer it looks that he is cheating and taking his time ,more over he is wasting your time,as we are not going to live forever.

You should have moved on 20 years ago hon.

Keep waiting; patience is a virtue...

Lots of people have opinion on this, not sure if they have any experience to match. Sometimes, we choose situations based on our needs. I too had a married lover for years; it was expeditious - I didn't want a man living with me, yet, liking men (and sex), I facilitated the affair for other reasons as well. I never intended to "wait" for a divorce, nor did I intend on giving up other options should they present themselves. I had a life of my own and didn't sit around waiting for a married man. - Once your lover was granted his divorce, if he did not immediately gravitate to strengthening his bond with you, he made a statement about his new social status - and that is single. If you wish to be in a relationship with a single man, then continue on. Marriage (regardless of what some people may say) isn't everything. I am going to assume that you have your own career and if so, are you ready to give it up to be a full time wife (assuming again that you never discussed this with the lover)? - I am not big on judgment calls made by strangers who have their own idea of morals and values which might not match my own. You are an autonomous woman; you need to evaluate what you are looking for, or what you want, before you allow the opinions of others make a decision for you.

eek. move on. And, in the process, learn to love yourself.

girlfriend..serious?drop him like a bad habit,

wow you waited for 20 years and now he has a gf. sweetie wake up. he has been using you and stringing you along. and he will continue to do so as long as you fall for his stories.

Don't waste you time on this guy! The reason he made you wait for so long and now he has a girlfriend is because he does not respect or love you. Let go of this loser and find someone who will appreciate and respect you!

Are you crazy? Kick him in the ass!!

i say good riddens this guy.It sounds like he is stringing you along for whatever reason. there are plenty of nice guys out there that will love only you for you. good luck

You should have married someone and have your son or daughter inlaw now... are you kidding 20 years ? what a waste of time..LOL.

You waited 20 years and he has a girlfriend? You aren't the brightest light on the christmas tree. I guess you should wait some more, then.

Move on. He might chase you then and leave her.