by Anonymous on June 11th, 2008

Anonymous

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So, another question about that missionary. I still really like him, we've been writing constistently for almost 8 months. How can I start writing to him as more than just a friend? Should I? What should I do?

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Answers. 2 helpful answers below.

  • by Glenn Blaylock on June 11th, 2008

    Glenn Blaylock

    I see from another question that you asked (http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/570331) that this missionary already has someone. So, unless that has changed, you should not be interfering in that relationship. The last thing that this missionary needs is for two women back home fighting over him. On the other hand, if the other girl has written him a "Dear John" letter, then I still don't think that you should express your feelings for him at this point. Continue to write him and leave it up to him to make the first move while he is a missionary. Once he gets home, then you can pursue something more serious.

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  • by the Otter on June 11th, 2008

    the Otter

    Hey there. First of all, since you’re anonymous, I’m not sure which missionary you’re talking about. However, from what you describe, it sounds like you’ve got a really good foundation going: friendship is *so* important when it comes to making a long-term relationship really work.

    That having been said, I’m going to give you some general advice. Since I don’t know your situation exactly, you’ll have to take it with a grain of salt, but here it is anyway:

    SLOW DOWN.

    I’m certainly not trying to be mean; I’m just speaking from my own experience. If he’s only been out for eight months, he’s still got a *long* way to go. The last thing you want to do is screw up his mission by encouraging him to concentrate too much on what’s waiting back at home. What’s more, that could totally jinx your relationship and then you’ve got nothing with him.

    I’m going to let you in on a little secret: I had a girl waiting for me, the entire two years I was in Spain. But here’s the kicker: it wasn’t the same girl. Girl A was waiting for me when I left, and continued to be romantic throughout almost my entire mission. Girl B was an ex-girlfriend that became one of my best friends in the world, then around 16 months into my mission, started letting me know—generally subtly—that she might be interested in something more, once I got home. Guess which one I married? (If you said Girl B, you get a CTR ring!) ;-)

    I guess what I’m trying to say is keep being his friend, for now. This time in his life is supposed to be 100% dedicated to the Lord, and he’ll be forever grateful to you for helping him stay that way. I know it’s hard, but hold off a little while longer; I expect the benefits will *far* outweight the sacrifice.

    Blessings!

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