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by marshmello on September 29th, 2006

marshmello

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My boyfriend's mom wants to have a girls day out with me, getting our hair done and stuff, but I really don't want to. How can I say no without being mean?

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  • by anonymous on September 29th, 2006

    anonymous

    Whatever happened to honesty? Explain to her that you are uncomfortable and possibly the reasons why. She could understand and you guys could start and develop a relationship based on truth. Suggest instead of going out for the day you could get aquainted and who knows what gifts you have for each other. I always think doing the next right thing is the best for all. Both you and she will get the blessing.

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  • by bignose on September 29th, 2006

    bignose

    --lady, if you are going to be in this family you had better be ready to make some compromises. it doesn't sound as if they are trying to be mean and just want your acceptance. it's not where you are from but, what you are --lighten up, it's not all about you---

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  • by alewis786 on September 29th, 2006

    alewis786

    DO IT. How long have you been with your boyfriend? If you have been for a while, you have to get on her good side. this is CRUCIAL. But if you honestly cant stand her, and won't do it. Just tell her you would LOVE to, but you aren't feeling well. Or if she wants to reschedule, ask if there is anything else she would like to do. Is it that you don't like her? or don't like being primped? ASk her out to lunch instead.

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  • by Mini_kilt on September 29th, 2006

    Mini_kilt

    GO, but mention while you are out you usually dont do these kinds of things because you don't enjoy them, You should spend time with his family but don't lie to them.

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  • by yoho05 reminds you to DYOH on September 29th, 2006

    yoho05 reminds you to DYOH

    You have been with your boyfriend for 7 months so you don't really know his mom very well nor does she know you. So you are really just starting to get to know each other.

    From your profile, I see that you are only 17 years old. You are pregnant and going through a challenging time in your life; this means that you are already coping with stuff that you probably weren't prepared for. This is the time to get her on your side - what if your boyfriend can't make it to the delivery and the only one with you is his mom? Do you really want to share this moment with someone that you have alienated by avoiding her?

    From your other questions, it seems like you have schoolwork to do that you are asking strangers on the internet to help you with - what's up with that? Are you skipping school or not paying attention? that's another example of avoidance.

    As a new mom, you will have all sorts of things to deal with and using avoidance as a coping mechanism won't do you any good and it especially won't help your new baby.

    My best advice to you is 'just do it': have lunch with her and appreciate the fact that she is reaching out to you. You don't have to do all the activities that she is suggesting - those were probably just general ideas that you could replace with your own preferences. Things could be a lot worse - his family could just as easily have rejected you and wanted nothing to do with you.

    Make the best of it. It's the adult thing to do and now is the time for you to do a lot of growing up.

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  • by Halskiisaklink on September 29th, 2006

    Halskiisaklink

    Break up with your boyfriend and become a lesbian.

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  • by crastney on September 29th, 2006

    crastney

    say the pet budgie died and that you're really upset.

    or that you're allergic to certain hair products so can only go to the place you know and trust.

    or just say - i'm sorry, but i really don't want to spend time with you.

    or pretend you are ill.

    or get yourself arrested.

    tell the bf, and get him to explain to his mom

    say that you'ld love to, then make the day as hellish as possible for her, so that she never asks you again.

    say that you'ld love to spend time with her, as she reminds you so much of 'bf', and maybe pretend that you're actually physically attracted to her, then maybe she'll change her mind and say no.

    become incredibly religous, and say you'll be at church....
    or alternatively, be incredibly atheistic, and say you'll only go on Sunday morning at half ten (during Mass)

    ... enough ideas?

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  • by alewis786 on September 29th, 2006

    alewis786

    Whats wrong with having a fun day with the Mom-in-law? You might really enjoy it. building a relationship with her will surely benefit you in the long run! Just tell her you have cramps and really want to just spend the day alone.

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  • by donovan reynolds. on September 29th, 2006

    donovan reynolds.

    Well, if you don't mind lying...

    "I just received an important phone call and I need to stay by the phone to make sure everything is okay. It's kind of a personal emrgency. I hope you understand"

    heheh.

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  • by Halskiisaklink on September 29th, 2006

    Halskiisaklink

    Hum contently over the phone and inform her politely that you're not wearing any underwear. She'll get the drift and quietly hang up.

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