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by justasking20 on September 28th, 2006

justasking20

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My boyfriend feels bad when we have sex because sometimes he cums before i do. He is very good in bed but whenever this happens, it bums him out completely. is there anything he can do to control himself more?

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Answers. 6 helpful answers below.

  • by same situation on March 10th, 2009

    same situation

    This exact situation is happening to me, my boyfriend doesnt last more than 5 minets or less.. he is only 16 but he has slept with other girls and says this is the only time its happened and im the only girl it happens with..he trys so hard to slow it down but he cant and i am left unsatisfied, but i stay with him because i think he will improve as he gets older.

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  • by ztorgo on October 14th, 2006

    ztorgo

    Condoms can help reduce the sensation for a guy, thus making him last longer. A few condom manufacturers make condoms with a numbing lubricant that further reduces the stimulation...however, these oftentimes end up numbing the woman too. It's also possible to buy a lubricant at adult stores that contains the same numbing agent, you could put a few drops INSIDE the condom to try and numb the guy but not the girl. The downside to this stuff is that it can eliminate all sensation for the guy, which can cause him to lose his erection. I've heard people compare it to having sex when overly drunk. But for some couples, it's a godsend.

    It's also helpful to think about something else totally non-sexual. This isn't as easy as it sounds, but it does help. Over time, a guy's stamina will certainly increase and may even be able to outlast the girl.

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  • by Dregnan on September 28th, 2006

    Dregnan

    Well first off, how old is he? Generally speaking, the younger the male, the shorter he is able to last. I don't understand this completely but I was the same way. When I was a teenager, I would 'finish' a lot faster than I do now.

    Secondly, change positions more often. Tell him to slow down his thrusts, etc. When you switch positions, this slows down the build up towards ejaculation so he can last longer. Using this with slower thrusts, will enable you both to orgasm at the same time.

    I follow these steps and my fiancee and I usually orgasm at the same time (which is such a turn on for me). Sometimes she is first too!

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  • by K-Kat on March 10th, 2009

    K-Kat

    Tell him to slow down, get on top of him and have a race! lol who can get off first!

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  • by iwnit on March 10th, 2009

    iwnit

    1) "Premature ejaculation (PE), also known as rapid ejaculation, rapid climax, premature climax or early ejaculation , is a condition affecting 25%-40% of men in the U.S. It is characterized by a lack of voluntary control over ejaculation. Masters and Johnson stated that a man suffers from premature ejaculation if he ejaculates before his sex partner achieves orgasm in more than fifty percent of their sexual encounters. Other sex researchers have defined premature ejaculation as occurring if the man ejaculates within two minutes of penetration; however, a survey by Alfred Kinsey in the 1950s demonstrated that three quarters of men ejaculate within two minutes of penetration in over half of their sexual encounters. Self reported surveys report up to 75% of men ejaculate within 10 minutes of penetration Today, most sex therapists understand premature ejaculation as occurring when a lack of ejaculatory control interferes with sexual or emotional well-being in one or both partners.

    The term "premature ejaculation" is not well defined in medical circles and is sometimes considered to be more of a marketing tool than a medical condition. By widely advertising PE/ED as a problem, an industry has been created to solve what in the past might not have been a great concern. The psychological effects of PE and ED have also been considered similar to the effects on young women of the thin model paradigm.

    Most men experience premature ejaculation at least once in their lives. Often adolescents and young men experience premature ejaculation during their first sexual encounters, but eventually learn ejaculatory control.[citation needed] Because there is great variability in both how long it takes men to ejaculate and how long both partners want sex to last, researchers have begun to form a quantitative definition of premature ejaculation. Current evidence supports an average intravaginal ejaculation latency time of six and a half minutes in 18-30 year olds. If the disorder is defined as an IELT percentile below 2.5, then premature ejaculation could be suggested by an IELT of less than about one and a half minutes. Nevertheless, it is well accepted that men with IELTs below 1.5 minutes could be "happy" with their performance and do not report a lack of control and therefore do not suffer from PE. On the other hand, a man with 2 minutes IELT may have the perception of poor control over his ejaculation, distressed about his condition, has interpersonal difficulties and therefore be diagnosed with PE."

    "In mundane cases, treatments are focused on gradually training and improving mental habituation to sex and physical development of stimulation control. In clinical cases, various medications are being tested to help slow down the speed of the arousal response.
    Masters and Johnson recommended a start and stop technique to increase the time till ejaculation. This requires a great deal of couple cooperation and communication and may be difficult for some.

    Another method is that of control not prevention. Performing routines such as Kegel exercises which as above mention relate to gaining the voluntary control of the PC Muscle and thus give a person more control over this muscle. When ejaculating the control of this muscle is said to be lost and thus learning to keep control of it can be of aid to some."
    Source and further information:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ejaculatio_praecox

    The problems if he comes before you do is that you could have to wait some time to go on with intercourse, because he could not be able to do it at once. The problem is not so strong if you are the one who comes first: after a short time, you could restart intercourse.

    Alternatively, you could try oral sex.

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  • by curious2u on November 23rd, 2010

    curious2u

    This is a very common problem for men and can be addressed in a couple of ways.
    1. Masturbation: Prior to intercourse he should spank the monkey to help reduce sensation as well as delay the urge to ejaculate as quickly when having sex. Problem is it affects spontaniety as you don't necessarily want to delay intercourse until the does the deed.

    2. Delay or desensitizing creams/gels: Good thing is they work while the bad thing is they work, often too well. There is a bit of a technique here that may take one, two or more attempts to get the amount, time and effect measured. No, I don't mean donning a white lab coat and measuring in beakers and such. The

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