You should just sit her down and calmy tell her that you love her and you'd never want to hurt her. Then, tell her what happened. Maybe, if you don't want to involve yourself, you could ask the police to tell her! Idk if they would but it's worth a try. Just stick by her! Even if you're not living together, that doesn't mean you can't be a good husband/ best friend!

he was divorced 10 years ago (an affair he had) he has 5 kids...he does not see them much, my wife does not see ours much (they lost all respect for her)he is well off but no other redeming qualities. our youngest (14) sees her week on week off, he has called her mom names and D's friends names, but is nice most of the time to my wife (gifts, dinning out all the time, trips to Cuba, vegas etc)...(controller/abuser, stalker)my wife is in trouble, hardly sees any friends, never out of his sight (I hope the money/security is not what she traded all of her family for)

she will not hear anything negative, will not (probably not allowed) see or talk to me (other than when and where to pick up daughter)she was a great mother and person, somewhat impatient with all of us...could be mid life crisis (she was a sunday school teacherat times) he drives a motor cycle now she wears Harley gear...her friends knew nothing about her and him nor any problems with her and I...sitting her down and warning her is not really an option...but not sure I can trust my self not to email her...but THEY will see this as jealousy and attempt to break them up (and he will deny all...I heard all of the facts from the police and the PI himself...the PI had to terminate the contract with OM himself...told the guy he was a freak and a stalker and wanted no part of him)

SORRY FOR YOU YOU GOT KIDS TO THANK ABOUT AND YOUR SELF . STEP BACK FROM IT , LET HER COME TO YOU IF SHE LOVES YOU . PRAY AMEN

You may be right that she's having a mid-life crisis. I know a woman that left her husband and kids for an older guy with a yacht. Her husband was a hard working, loving man. If you really love her, then let her know that if she is ever in danger and needs your help that you will be there for her no matter what. I would keep an eye on her, without the OM knowing. Do not provoke him, or threaten him in any way. Hopefully she will realize what an awful mistake she has made.

none of your business - its her life - keep your kids safe and go on with your life.

How would you know all of this unless you hired your own PI? While I am certain the domestic abuse report is probably public information...or is it...I doubt you would have found out about the PI unless you did a little snooping on your own. In which case, I would call this a definite case of the pot calling the kettle black. That said, I am sure you are hurting pretty badly over this. And I think it sucks she has put you through this and chooses the unknown over her family and children. But she is an adult. And you can not control her actions or her feelings, nor should you try at this point. She left you! I do understand that you still love her, but she does not deserve to have you still looking out for her. You have more on your plate to worry about right now than who she is out carousing with. Worry about your kids and your own mental health. Make sure they are dealing with parental abandonment, and make sure you are, too. This is a good time for you to seek counseling to help deal with your pain. Personally, I don't think it would be a good thing for you to try to involve yourself in her life. Nor would it be good for the kids. Be strong and move on.

I found out all that I know about him from clients of mine...he is known in the community, the PI was in a tournament I was in and we were just talking about what each other did for a living, mentioned my situation, he only had to ask where this guy worked and the PI told ME his name.. this guy, simce posting has entered my home and taken both the family home theatre systems among alot of other things...drove to the farm I was keeping my fishing boat and took my boat...the kids just keep getting angrier at the pair of them and she continues to blame me for their reactions...their feelings...why is she so mean and angry at me/us when it is she that had the affair and left the family...I was so patient and kind to her, the kids tell me she never treated them or me well and I didn't see it..they seem to be trying to so hard to hurt me...thats ok but the kids are being hurt too...