Unfortunately, that will happen, especially if she collected welfare. You need to immediately do a voluntary order. As a single man, you have NO ASSUMED RIGHTS to the child. Watch this movie trailer about a single father http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=27395259 If you are paying without a court order, it can be considered a gift, with you ordered to repay for the same time period, especially if she's on Welfare. If one has not been done, go to the child support enforcement to setup a voluntary order. Wait for them to file against you will result in you paying all court costs of up to $5000 Take a certified parenting course. The court is going to order you to take it anyway, so by showing you’ve taken it only looks good to them. Start keeping a daily journal of all your activities. The most common way to prevent a father from getting his rights through the courts is a false allegation. A daily journal is your number one piece of evidence in court and you can even refer to it while on the stand. If you are being denied access, write her a letter notifying her of intent to exercise visitation on a specific date, like Saturday 10 AM to 6 PM. Sign it and make three copies. Mail the original Certified Mail and the other with Delivery Confirmation (75¢ + postage). If she rejects the one, she still receives the other. Whether the Certified Mail confirmation card or the Certified letter comes back, attach it unopened to a copy of the letter, plus a printout of the Delivery Confirmation from this web link. http://www.usps.com/send/waystosendmail/extraservices/deliveryconfirmationservice.htm When you file for visitation rights, take these documents to the County Courthouse. Have the Clerk of the Court notarize it and than place it in your case file. Do this three times before considering going to court. When you do go to court, the judge will these letters while preparing for the hearing. When you show up to pick up the child(ren), bring witnesses. Do not enter her place alone. If you can record, have someone video record. Check the site below to see if it is illegal to record audio and/or video without the mother knowing. If her state does not have a law either way, than it defaults to the federal ruling, which says one person in a conversation, must know they are being recorded. THAT’S YOU! http://www.rcfp.org/taping/ The court will order you into mediation, so take the lead first and suggest it to her. Instead of hiring attorneys, going to a mediator, you can hammer out an agreement. A mediator is an attorney or paralegal with certified training as a mediator. You each have to pay half the fees in order for the mediator to have the appearance of being unbiased. If you and the mother are civil, consider Bird Nest Custody. In this the child lives in one home and each parent live there for 3-4 weeks, than switch. You live with friends, family, rent a room, etc. on the off time. In this manner, your child’s life is not disrupted. They are not being shifted back and forth. They keep their own room, friends, school, etc. It is hard on the parents, but than the child comes first. This is the form of custody rocker Ted Nugent had. http://tinyurl.com/GiveKidsAChoice If you want to learn how to do all this go to Dads House in Yahoo Groups. Upon joining, you will receive a link to an educational manual that can teach you what you need to know. Take the time to learn what you can and should do. http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DadsHouse/ A couple of additional http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/ http://www.parentalalienation.org/