ANSWERS: 29
  • I have a former boyfriend who acts like he is my best friend when he sees me. For the sake of peace, I just bite my tongue and humor him until I can get away from him.
  • clear, firm communication...FIRM.
  • Tell him* one time in no uncertain terms that you are not comfortable having a friendship with him right now, and if you feel that you can in the future YOU will call HIM. Then ignore him entirely. Don't take his calls or respond to his messages; be cool but cordial if you must see him in person. Good luck! *or her :)
  • Redcatt, Give me her number & I'll make sure she gets the message, I promise
  • I am far more commonly the stalker, not the stalk-ee...;-D...
  • i just ignored them, eventually they lose interest.
  • I just told her I didn't think it was such a good idea. She stopped bugging me shortly after that.
  • Be friends. It won;t hurt you--and after all, once you were in love. Presumably you loved each other. Just establish boundries..
  • Yes when we were still broken up we were "best friends". That meant to him we were still together. He was like, "have you been cheating on me? I thought we were best friends!" Well that's basically how it was. I got him to back off by ignoring him when he turned psycho. It didn't exactly work, it still infuriates me to think about sometimes.
  • If it became a real problem..say, he keeps calling you at work all the time..I'd get a restraining order..that's what I had to do many years ago! Happy Monday! :)
  • Honestly, redcatt after all you have told me, I think you should flat out tell her.
  • Yes and the threat of a restraining order did the trick.
  • Sounds as if she hasn't had 'closure' yet, Redcatt, that's why she can't let go. You say your relationship was 'over' before you ended it but she accused you of cheating when you met someone else. Why not take her out somewhere quiet - make it clear you just want to talk. Then ask her to tell you what she's thinking and feeling. Listen to her, understand her, show her acceptance. Then thank her for what you once shared, tell her it's not her that's wrong just the relationship has run its course and you've moved on, your needs are different. Give her respect and ask her to respect you and leave you alone now. Worth a try?
  • I had to get the cops involved, but he finally backed off. What happened was after I got married, he made a pass at me in my house in front of my husband on his (my husband's) birthday. My ex's wife was also there. Then he had the idiot brained idea of driving by my house three times in less than an hour in a car that (1) sticks out like a sore thumb, and (2) has a personalized tag.
  • Yes, for a time, but I simply stopped listening and eventually she got the hint. Oh, and I moved.
  • At first I nicely told him it wouldn't work for me. If we couldn't continue where we left off, it's not going to happen. (he just wanted his cake and eat too.) After his constant persistence, I turned on him and started texting him messages that he didn't care to hear, i.e., you're a loser, liar, cheater, etc. I basically chased him away. Now I think he hates me, but that's okay. Not a very mature way to deal with it, but some guys just don't take no for an answer.
  • Well I think that was the other way around for me and my ex boyfriend. I wanted to stay friends and he wanted nothing to do with me. He pretty much deleted all contact with me, email and msn. He picked up and went out of town for a year to do some schooling. When he came back he had a new girlfriend, which he moved in with...so I definetly took the hint and backed off..besides i have no way of talking to him even if I wanted to..(don't worry im not as crazy as i sound)!
  • simply tell them if you are not together there is no connection, and now that you are not with them anymore you have no reason to keep in touch with them tell them that you broke up with them for a reason that the communication aspect just isnt there anymore
  • Good Luck... For the rest of your life !
  • you politely and maturely ask them to give you a little space. That you need to be alone for awhile and that you would like to remain friends. I'm sure they will get the hint and back off.
  • Aim for the chest.:)
  • You need to show her a little compassion here. I have only read a few comments but it's very clear she is hurting. I think it was you who said you started seeing someone else after a month. Well a month is not very long to a person who is still getting over the shock of the initial break up and it will feel as bad as being cheated on. I think everyone should be a little more careful with each others feelings. i have had the last 2 boyfriends start seeing someone else very very quickly after our break ups. sometimes within hours and it hurts very much. But how did she know ur seeing someone else? do you think its a good idea to start a new relationship so soon after ending another one? for you, for the ex or for the new girl? As for dealing with the ex and the problem there. You COULD ignore her like others have sais, But I don't think that is a very mature reaction and slightly cowardly. But you DO have that option. however is will make her suffer even more. If you care for your ex's feelings you will take into account her crazy behavior as pain form losing you and shock. The mature and respectful response would be to talk with her calmly and be very open and honest without being cruel. No matter what anyone says, there IS a good way to break up. Remember to give her time to cry or ask questions. It may be uncomfortable for you but what she suffers will be much worse. It will also give her all the answers she needs to move on and you can live your life in peace without making an enemy. Not everything has to be a drama. Just be good to other people and show them maturity and respect and you will get the same in return.
  • Welp, I was the one who was actually still contacting my ex after he told me he wanted nothing to do with me... It hurt like hell for a while... I think people keep contacting the ex in this kind of situation because they are in denial and they don't want to face the truth. Obviously, giving the person any kind of attention will not help your case, and will in fact exacerbate the situation, so just tell them once then ignore them from then on. For me personally, I kept contacting the ex in question off and on for a good four months after he told me he wanted nothing to do with me... rather stalker-esque, but I paid the price for my behavior... each time I contacted him it was very humiliating to be ignored. It's kind of mean to do it, but sometimes you don't really have a choice, I guess. Most of the time they will get the hint eventually, or for me, I finally grew tired of getting my feelings hurt. I hope this helps.
  • my partner had to put a restraining order against this one girl. We done everything to just ignore her and she still wouldn't leave my family alone.
  • oh my i have the same problem too... its only worst because he was the one who broke up with me and still communicates with me... so weird...
  • i compleatly blocked her out from my life
  • Never. I've never been with someone that was so bad that I wouldn't want to be their friend.
  • It's happened a time or two. In both cases that I've seen this, it was easy to handle. Both people continually wanted to talk about why our relationship didn't work. Honestly, from my perspective it was almost like they were trying to get a charge out of me being upset. In both cases, I was polite and friendly and wished them all the best, but when they started probing about how I was doing, and how "devastated" I must have been by the breakup, I'd just say, "Don't worry about me. I'm fine. And if I hit a problem, I've got lots of friends to talk to, so don't trouble yourself about it." Amazing how quickly they ran in the other direction. Having said that, I will say that I have one serious past relationship where we have remained very good friends, so I'm not saying it's impossible.
  • ugh yes. just ignore them. ignore ignore ignore. worked for me

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