To tell him I guess, but even then it might not work. If it was a one night stand (hopefully drunken) then there is a pretty decent chance he'll forgive you. An affair? I doubt. Especially if it was with someone he knows or is close to. It's your call. Good luck

Don't tell him, and don't tell anyone else either. You will simply have to live with yourself. Don't ever do that again.

If you tell him, it will hurt him and probably won't do you OR him any good. Have you got a church? The clergy are used to listening to confessions, and many give good advice as well.

You probably wont like me for this... but I don't think you love him as much as you say you do. Why? Because you cheated. I personally don't believe that you would have been able to cheat on him if you truly loved him. I also would not want to end up marrying someone who had cheated on me, as much as he might claim to love me. I think you owe it to him to tell him, and let him decide if he wants to forgive you (or not) and stay with you (or not). You decided to cheat, he get to decide whether or not to keep a relationship with you. He deserves to know what the person he is in a relationship with has done, and he deserves the chance to make his own decision about the relationship's future.

When people cheat, the other person deserves the honest truth if they have been honest with you. Think about how unfair it is, if you love him you should tell him and deal with it and gain the trust back.... I actually did something similar, only I came clean about it. The truth always hurts but if you want to lie to yourself and always feel bad, never telling him then go ahead but he might notice it in your behavior. For how long did you cheat on him? And why, maybe knowing more about why you can find a way to tell him.

I normally would advise to keep it to yourself......BUT, what if your little secret was also known, by someone else and they told your boyfriend? this would compound the situation and he will probably leave you altogether. Feel lucky? its a 50/50 call here. You can tell him the truth and take your chances or keep it to yourself and say hello to stomach ulcers.

Well this sucks but if you plan to get married then this will cause a lot of problems. I dated my gf for 7 years and now we have been married for 4 years. There was one incident when we had only been dating for 1-2 weeks (I know it should have gone away). We went to a dance club and she treated me badly then went partying with her old crowd. Somehow after LOTS and LOTS of denying anything happened and apologies, I got past it but down deep, I never completely beleived her story. She basically said "Nothing happened, I just drank, hung out, etc, that's all" and it didn't make since so it periodically bothered me and I would ask again. After 10 years of denying, she finally told me the truth which involved her cheating with her ex. I don't know why I had to know because she really has been such a wonderful person since then? It's a flaw that me and most men have that we can't let go. Well, we shared 10 years with this lie. I feel cheated because I married her not knowing something that I should have. Things are different now. Even though I know I'm lucky to be with her, it's special but something is never going to be the same. If you could keep this secret forever and know that it would never come out then you should bare the burden by yourself (but you don't know that). If he will ever know about it then your relationship will lose something that will not come back and he really will hurt for a long time. It's a shame this stuff hurts so long and badly. The person cheated on really does not deserve it.

Are you prepared to live with this for the rest of your life? Tell him he has a right to know his life is a lie.

i think you should tell him.

i cheated on a drunken one night stand. i hope that my boyfriend can forgive me i dont think i deserve to not be forgiven. people make mistakes and if he did it to me i would forgive him in a heartbeat. i lvoe him to death and would be crushed to death if he could not forgive me and breaks it off with me. i am his first real relationship but he has talked about us having a family some day. i hope he was serious and that this will not change the way he looks at me forever. anyone have any advice for me? sorry if this doesnt help but just so you know lots of people go through this and come out on top. better than they were before sometimes.

you need to tell him because it's unfair to him. atleast if you tell him you might be able to gain his trust back faster.

No offense to anyone on here, but I think NOT telling him is the dumbest thing on the planet. For one, it'll eat YOU up even more, and for two, how is that fair to him? How can you claim to love someone so much and keep something like that from them? I mean, wouldn't you want him to tell YOU if he made a mistake like that? The longer you wait to tell him, the longer you've lied to him and that makes it harder to forgive. He deserves to know the truth and it seems like YOU realize it wasn't right and deserve to get off your chest for good, and telling him really is the only way.

The, Truth will set you free!!We live and we learn, We learn what we live and life is complex for us at times! We, do what we would want to be done to us!The Truth will hurt sometimes, but if the truth doesnt come out now it will later..

(im going to get (-) pts for this)Honestly if you think he's going to find out threw a third party tell him if you dont think he's going to find out unless you tell him then don't. Trust me I got cheated on by my ex and I never look at her the same(I rather her not have told me)it basically ended us...and since its eating you up, tell your priest or a parent or sibling...at least somebody else close to you will know and get it out your system.

This may be helpful to you. We all cheat on each other,Oh!, Not always in the physical act in most cases, but there is such a thing as Mind-Cheating. And as Jesus said, "There is sin in the thought just as well as in the doing". Now doesn't that make him as equally guilty as you? Love is also about not wanting to hurt others. So, NO,I wouldn't tell him. What I see in your life right now,is someone who needs to learn how to forgive herself. And he too Mind-Cheats,as do all of us, when it comes to our human-sexuality. But then none of us ever really feel guilty about our mind-cheating. The past should only be used to learn how to live our future. And someday if he ever finds out,well then you'll really know if he truely love you in his forgiveness.

DON'T TELL HIM! Don't tell anyone else. Don't feel bad about it. You're not married, you're not engaged, you're still free to do as you please. You had a good time, don;t ruin it by feeling guilty. DON'T TELL HIM

Tell him. I disagree with all of the people who say not to tell him. I've been cheated on myself, and I figured it out on my own. Everything just kept on adding up. I knew something was wrong when I'd look at my boyfriend. He'd deny it, of course. If your boyfriend really loves you like I love mine, I'm sure he will notice something is up. He will wonder about it while you beat yourself up about it. You might as well tell him now and let him decide whether he wants to break up with you or work it out. That way everything is all out on the table. You've got to face what you did, even if it means losing the person you claim to love.

Relationships are nothing if not built on a foundation of honesty. Tell him and pray that he's able to forgive and move on. If so, you will be stronger than ever!

You have to give him the option of forgiving you. You say he loves you to death; have the decency of telling him the truth. Relationships are nothing without honesty and communication. I don't agree with the people who are telling you to stop feeling guilty. It's your subconcious mind that wants to be healed. Your guilt lets you know what you did was wrong, and it hurts you because you love your boyfriend. When you tell him, you are giving him the opportunity to forgive you. You will need to earn his trust back, all over again. I don't believe you can love with all your heart when you are so wracked by guilt. Just tell him, if he loves you then maybe he can see past your infidelity. If you're honest with the man you say you love, and if he can forgive you, it can bring you closer together. It hurts when the person you love cheats, but it hurts infinitely more when they lie about it or hide things from you.

There is a mistake in the AB program that I've been complaining about for two years, and that is that you often can't reply to comments about a post. This is very frustrating and I'd like to throw all those guys in jail until they get it fixed. Anyhow, this goes up to my earlier post and answers two objections: "Well, "bird is the word," you've heard that ignorance is bliss, haven't you? There are lots of spouses who have been cheated on and don't know it who go through life happy but who would be devastated to hear such a confession. You might feel less guilty by confessing to your spouse, but you've relieved the pain in your heart by transferring it to your spouse's. Go to a pastor or priest and confess. You may find that that is enough; most people do. I certainly hope so. And you can always confess to your spouse later if you have to. By the way, "confess" doesn't necessarily just mean sitting in a little booth and admitting it. That's the sacrament of confession in the Catholic church. In Protestant churches it's generally just called "pastoral counseling" and you may have to go three or four times to talk it all out. Choose a pastor with a good reputation and a few gray hairs to talk to."

I was right then--women do cheat and no wonder why is my ex making me feel like a piece of shit-to hide her decetpion! shame on all women who cheat their boyftriends who are honest and sicnere towards them!!! Shame on all of you cheater women!!!

you feel horrible because you knew you were wrong.....you need to tell your man what you did......how would you feel if he did this to you and never told you???????? no one wants to be with a cheater....even if you never get caught, you are still a cheater.......not judging you........but, i think that you should tell him.....take care.....Brian.....

The guilt youre feeling now is your punishment for betraying someone you love. Don't EVER share that pain with him. This is something you have to deal with on your own.

You should have thought about this before temptation took over you. He will find out, one day. If you visit your doctor because of pain in your stomach, its called an ulcer. ulcers sometimes form because of guilt. Get the point??

it is impossible to avoid the consequences of our choices...if you keep it a secret be prepared to have it eat you up from the inside out with guilt...if you tell him be prepared to lose him or have it thrown up in your face for the rest of your life as he may not end the relationship but he may use it to gain power in the relationship...it's too bad people don't think about these things before they jump to the hump.

Tell him. Trust will be destroyed (but you may feel better about your self). And You Ought to Feel Horrible~ You Cheated ! OR...go to confession even if you are not religous,( a problem shared is a problem halved). The internet doesn't count.

**********it gets really nasty when somebody you love to death cheats you! If love is true then such mistakes never happens. A heart broken person may get to any extent. The pain is enormous. ***********now all you can do is love him more than you used to. And keep your fingers crossed and convincing genuine explanation ready coz truth never hides for always. sometime it will come out. If u do such mistake one more time.... then GOD BLESS YOU!!

we have the same problem.......well what i did is....i just buried it 6 feet below the ground...........and never do it again.......

This might sound weird, but I think your break up with him. Don't tell him what you did because that will only ruin his trust for his future relationships. Just give some kind of line like your bored of him and end it with him. Because he deserves not to have a cheater but he doesn't deserve to be hurt by that knowledge.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO....he does not want to know. I have been in that same position. I was told and I wish I had not been told. It was many years ago, but it was a stupid thing for her to do. Like you, it was ONCE, not an ongoing thing. You have bad feelings and that is normal. Talk to a counselor to deal with your issue. Do not make your BF deal with it. It happens, even though you love him.

since there is not a solid commitment, it would only hurt him and relieve you of your guilt. don't tell him, and let the guilt eat you inside never to do it again. You can get over it by a resolve it will never occur again. Once a cheater... Defy that. +5

Good night!!! You people are hard on people. It may be that you are just very young. I feel like quoting Scripture..."Let he who is without sin among you, cast the first stone..." The girl made a mistake. Just one mistake. Neither her life or her BFs life is a lie. She perhaps should tell him, but not without working out the guilt feeling FIRST with a counselor. THEN, after the guilt is not driving the decision, then make the decision whether or not to tell.

how could you cheat on someone you say you love? i dont think cheating in anyway is right or righter. You should tell him. My ex of a year cheated on me several times, she never told me, her friends had to tell me, and when i confronted her she still lied not knowing her friends told me. You need to tell him, finding out someone you love cheated on you is the worst feeling in the world. It drove me crazy, i wanted to die. If you tell him before he finds out on his own it might be easier and maybe be able to work things out in time.

honesty is best policy if he really loves you and your going to be together be honest you have already been together for along time why let it bother you and eat you alive.