When she remembered about her brand new Apple laptop with built in webcam and a wireless internet connection,so she pulled it out of her back pack and logged on to answerbag!!yay

.....she lit a candle, called on her cell for a booty call, and had her some fun dammit...

Then they shared chocolate covered strawberries and cuddles!

thinking they were all alone. All of a sudden, they heard the creaking of the cellar door opening . . .

the Alien arrived . Then the real story began...

...all of the sudden, out of nowhere, ROBERTD903 jumped out and started to rip her clothes off! She begged and pleaded for mercy, but this made him even MORE intent on finshing the task at hand. When he tore off the last BIT of clothing, he got a CLOSER look at her naked body and realized the familiar mole on her "love muffin." Suddenly realizing he had tore the clothes off of an EX- girlfriend of his, ROBERTD903 run for his dear life--as if OPRAH was chasing him with a knife and fork!!!

...and out of the cellar burst zombies! thousands of them. Thinking quickly, She pulled her Mossberg 500 12 gauge from under her bed, ignored Oprah and the assorted rapists, and began firing upon the zombies.

The Alien who had been watching this display of chocolate, sex and computers had finally had enough of it and leaped at them both!...

she realized that chocolate covered strawberries taste better in the dark. +5

When All of a sudden they turned into HER MOTHER!!!

avatar a came by with a flashlight and a smile... they went to his place and talked all night till the sun came up.. she went back to her place with his name and number... the next day she called there was no answer... she tried few more days and still no answer.. she went back to his place to find out he had died just 2 weeks before.... +5

"Watch me Watch me", she whispered breathlessly as she began smearing warm liquid chocolate over her body. The alien quickly linked the action to his buddies on his communicator and soon people all over the world and aliens from far worlds unknown were watching her play. Knowing that worlds were watching she invited all to....

She couldn't find her candles and all her flashlight batteries went dead. Well, she thought, I'll just go to bed until daylight. Which she did.

As she fired at the zombies, their faces shattered and underneath their burnt off skin and splintered bones, new beings were squirming, trying to get out... She screamed, high and shrill, and waited breathlessly, frozen in fear, until the new creatures shrugged off the zombie corpses and emerged into the dim light of the room, covered in slime like afterbirth... Oh my god!!!! It's president bush and his cronies! Eeek, its the whole dam government emerging from those zombies corpses! Wait though, the zombies weren't as scary as these ugly bastards are, and they weren't nearly as evil either! Come back zombies - come back! Make these scary men go away!!!!!!!!!!!

It was a lonely stormy night. When all the lights in the town when out. She was all alone when...... I knocked on her door for the first time in more than two weeks. . It was guilt more than anything else that compelled me to seek her out that particular night. The same guilt that had been knawing away at me for the last couple of weeks and which I knew would continue to do so until I squared things with her. . I was in Bangkok and it was close to midnight in the height of the rainy season. As always the rain was pelting down from the heavens as though it bore some kind of ancient grudge against the city and as always it did nothing to clear the air or indeed my conscience. As I walked down the semi open corridor that led to her apartment door the lights flickered on and off a couple of times and then finally succumbed to the rain and gave up the ghost. The only illumination that disturbed the total blackness of the night came from the intermittent red haze of a nearby neon sign as it flashed out its message to the hordes of neanderthal tourists down on the street below. I replayed the events of the last six months over again in my mind..... . Part 2 to follow.

she just started ABing when ther was a knock at her door. "who could that be?" she said aloud. she went to the door but no one was ther when she turned back to her computer puddles, her innocent little chihuahua, had turned in to weredog, making part rat, part real dog and leaped at her with...

"What am I thinking" she said to no one in particular. "I've got a great life and a faithful husband, even if he is sorta unattractive". Hell, she thought, he's been unfaithful to me with that dame Edith, so why not crank up the ole web cam, he's not very tech smart so he'll never know. As she was getting herself ready for her big debut, she heard someone at the door. Knowing that she was not expecting anyone this late at night, she carefully made herself presentable again and answered the door. "Oh, it's you" she said. Reluctently she allowed her visiter in. "Why such a late night visit"? she said. "Just curious, I guess. I haven't heard from you in a while and I saw that your light was on, so I thought I'd just stop for a few minutes". "Well, that's just about all I have", she said, all the while steaming because the time was passing and she had business to take care of. "So, what is the real reason that you stopped by. The light wasn't that bright and I know you couldn't see it from the street. You and I both know why you came by, don't we?" "Well, since you put it that way, yes I do have another reason for stopping by. I heard you were about to........................................

It was a lonely stormy night. When all the lights in the town when out. She was all alone when the sound of a thunder made her shiver, and the lightning casted strange shadows in her bedroom. She was scared. She knew that something was wrong...

Part 2.. . I replayed the events of the last six months over again in my mind..... . The reasons why I originally came to be in Thailand in the Summer of 2004 are best left for another story. Suffice it to say that by the time that rainy night in Bangkok arrived I had already spent a great deal longer in the 'Land of Smiles' than I had originally intended. . I wouldn't go as far as to say that Thailand isn't part of the real world but it does have it's own reality that's different to that of most other places, even in Asia. The longer you stay there the harder it becomes to leave and the less attractive the prospect of rejoining the real reality.of the outside world becomes. . As a child living in Manchester, in the North of England in the the 1970s before the era of the internet and video games, I, like most kids of my generation, watched a lot of TV. Every now and then, for no apparent reason, something I saw on TV would stick in my mind and would stay there for years and sometimes decades. It could be an event, a word, a phrase; basically anything. One time I was watching a guy being interviewed about the Beatles. He waxed lyrically on the respective abilities of Lennon, Mccartney and Harrison (no mention of poor Ringo)but said that "great though they were as individuals, when they played and wrote together as the Beatles they were greater than the sum of their individual parts... they had this amazing synergy". It was this concept of synergy that stuck in my mind. That 1 + 1 could equal 3 or more, seemed almost magical to me at the time. . Bangkok, more than any other city I have visited, has a special kind of synergy about it. If you write down a list with the things you love about it in one column and the things hate about it in another, the chances are that the hate column will be the longer of the two. But when all these things are mixed up together the result is a pulsating metropolis that is both seductive and addictive. As a westerner it's easy to get drawn in by its charms the and with each day that passes you become a little more attuned to it and a little more of you is absorbed by it. . At the start of 2006 I had not yet been completely absorbed by old Siam but I had been sampling the various delights that Bangkok had to offer for almost two years and I was fast approaching what western expatriates refer to as the 'tipping point'. This is a moment of clarity that almost all male westerners experience after having lived in Thailand for more than three or four months. It's the moment when you realize that you're changing and that if you carry on for much longer you will find it really difficult to re-enter 'normal' society again. So you have to decide whether to leave now while you still can or stay forever in your cocoon. To use a cliche; it's shit or bust time. It's the single issue that causes more angst and soul searching in the expat beer bars of downtown Bangkok than all the rest of the woes of the world combined. In my case the decision had made itself. I simply did not have the necessary funds to allow me to continue in Bangkok for much longer. I had worked as a freelance writer for regional and even national magazines and newspapers to stretch my cash reserves out for as long as possible but it's almost impossible to live off this kind of works if it's your only stream of income. So there I was, resigned to leaving and in the process of deciding where to go next and what to do. Then out of the blue and quite by chance, I noticed something on TV that was to change everything ........ Part 3 to follow;

she was all alone when.... she reached out infront of her only to find her stuffed animal ripped to shreds and her half eaten chocolate bar gone. ...riveting, i know.