To thine own self be true (W.Shakespeare)

be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind dont matter and those wqho matter dont mind by dr.seuss

How about this one: Never argue with an idiot; he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience!

you need a parachute to skydive twice.

When Arthur and Ford are picked up by the Heart of Gold in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, they are in a room where very improbable events are occurring, since the Inifinite Improbabillity Drive powers the ship.

Arthur's legs have drifted apart from him and Ford has turned into a penguin. Having no idea what is going on at all, they are terrified, angry, and can only communicate with an unseen voice that rings out over the intercom system, informing them they are perfectly safe.

"But that's not the point!" raged Ford. "The point is that I am now a perfectly safe penguin, and my coleague here is rapidly running out of limbs!"

A seemingly unperturbed Arthur lets him know, as if it's the most normal thing in the world;

"It's all right, I've got them back now."

Had me in stitches.

EDIT

A couple form an email I received, so quotes but not from any attributable source.

Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.

Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all it's students.

who's more childish, the boy afraid of the dark, or the man afraid of the light?
(idk who said this first, but i just love it so much i might turn it into a tatoo on me back >_<)

In Spanish: "Lo mejor que hizo Dios es un dia despues del otro" it means: "The best thing God created was one day after the other". It brings hope, it means that it doesn't matter what kind of bad day you are having, tomorrow is going to be another day, and it will probably be a better one...better days are always waiting ahead.

"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them."

- John Wayne in "The Shootist".

"If God gives you lemons you FIND A NEW GOD!!!!!!!! GODBERRY!!!! king of the Juice!!!!"

This is just one of many;

"What is love? As far as I can tell, it is passion, admiration and respect. If you have two, you have enough. If you have all three, you don't have to die to go to heaven."
William Wharton