ANSWERS: 3
  • I would need to know what you have already tried before I suggest anything.
  • I'm not sure what you've tried yet, but I have a stepson that has similar habits! I think the best thing with the "I have two sisters" and "my dad is a fireman" is to acknowledge that he is saying these things, by using phrases such as "that's a good story, maybe we can write it down" and showing him how to separate these 'stories' from the truth. So, after you've written down "a story" talk about what daddy really does, and how many sisters he really has. It is very normal for children to blame others for wrong doings, as they are afraid of getting into trouble and disappointing their parents. It is hard at this stage for them to realise that denying what they've done (lying) will get them into even more trouble!! Maybe take a few days to pay very close attention to everything your son does, so that you are there to see the things he's done. Rather than say 'did you break that glass', rephrase it to say 'oh dear, you've broken the glass, that's ok, we can clean it up, let's remember we need to be very careful next time', etc, to let him know that it's ok if there's an accident, he doesn't need to lie. Sometimes if children have had a bad experience with discipline ( for example, they have been shouted at for an accident, I know I've been a culprit for unneccesarily raising my voice than regretting it afterwards!!!) they become inclined to lie rather than tell you what has been done. I hope it goes well for you, and I hoped that something I've said is useful! Just remember that you're not alone. Kids really have to learn how to tell the truth (contrary to the popular belief that 'kids can't lie'...this is false!). And each child has such a different personality. Good luck
  • Not long ago some news program did a thing on four-year-olds who lie. They said such children are actually advanced in development, because lying sometimes comes a little later. It's part of his age, and according to that program, he's getting a feel for how the truth, lies, and fantasy all "work". His lies sound mostly like fantasy. As a kid I remember being four and trying to engage my friend in fantasy, although I didn't know it was called "fantasy". That's what it was though. It was just a matter of imagining something and wanting to engage my friend. My parents made a big deal about it when the friend (also four) asked my parents about what I said. As an adult, I realized it wasn't malicious or sneaky lying. It was just hoping the friend would pick up on the "imagining" and join in. Saying, "Let's pretend this" comes later.

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