Yes - their parents. If you take a question like this seriously, more fool you. How many three to five year olds could read a 'good etiquette' guide, and understand what it meant. Their parents whould be teaching them at that age, and the parents should not need a book to read on what good etiquette is for children of three to five years old. Just getting them not to bite or kick or other anti-social is the main challenge, and if parents don't realise this, no book will help. Get a grip.

This isn't a guide, but I thought it would be helpful. I found this online today: from http://parenting.aol.com/parenting/onlyonaol/0,19766,1043758_1043296_2,00.html Easy age-by-age strategies to teach kids manners Age 1 to 2: Don't expect much Even young toddlers can begin to learn the basics of polite behavior. Just don't expect them to fully understand -- or practice -- what you're teaching right now. Make manners part of the conversation. Thinking about other people's feelings is the root of politeness, so encourage your child to do this. Explain that when you help the neighbor search for her lost keys in the playground, she feels good and so do we. Point out how kind the cashier in the supermarket is. Talking to young children about caring for others helps them absorb this value without fully understanding it. Age 2 to 3: Civilization dawns At this stage, they're still operating with limited self-control, but at around 36 months, new and stronger brain circuitry helps improve memory, language, and impulse control. Take action. You can't expect your child to have good manners without your help. So if he has taken another kid's toy at the playground, step in and insist he return it, informing him that if he doesn't, there will be consequences. And don't say, "I'd really like you to think about giving the toy back." It's too much to expect a child to make that decision. The fact is, he doesn't have a choice in the matter, and he has to know that. Age 3 to 5: Progress, not perfection Preschoolers have new understanding and patience now, which means that taking turns becomes a bit easier. Decent manners can start to be a habit. Use imaginary play. With 3- and 4-year-olds, reinforcing table manners at, say, a pretend tea party is a fun way to drive politeness home. Enlist the help of your child's favorite humans and nonhumans by explaining that knights, princesses, rock stars, Grandma, Winnie-the-Pooh, and Elmo all use proper manners. Age 5 to 7: Manners on display Kids this age are more able to listen to directions. At school, they're being asked to be quiet, take turns, and raise their hands. Manners will help them get along. Maintain boundaries. While it might be tempting to tell your child that it hurt when she said your new dress was gross, don't muddy the discussion by introducing your emotional life. Instead, keep to what is and isn't acceptable. According to Diane Ehrensaft, Ph.D., author of Spoiling Childhood, "It's better to say 'It's not okay to talk to me that way.' Children hunger for, and need, your guidance." General: 3 easy ways to teach why manners matter: 1. Use examples your child can relate to. Try "If you don't say thank you, it sounds like you're being bossy." 2. Ask how he'd feel. Sometimes a child needs to be reminded that he's not the only one who gets his feelings hurt. When he forgets to say "please" before using his sister's crayons, try asking how he'd feel if she used one of his toys without permission. 3. Avoid "Because I said so." This response won't help kids learn about caring and respect. To stop rules from seeming arbitrary, explain why the polite way is the best way in a given situation.

When my now adult children were 3-5 year-olds, they could understand basic etiquette such as: Don't inflict pain on other people. Use words to say how you feel, keeping in mind that even certain words are inappropriate. Wait until the other person is finished talking; don't interrupt. Call people Mr. and Mrs. until you are invited to use their first names. Also use "sir" and "ma'am" when speaking to adults. Use a piece of bread or another eating utensil to help push food onto your fork. Do not use your hands to do this. If you must cough or sneeze at the table, turn your head, and say "excuse me" afterward. It's OK to be disappointed, but don't pitch a hissy because you don't get your way. May I add, please, that children learn more good manners and respect when it is shown to them as well, not when it is simply demanded of them while adults get to behave as they please. Miss Manners did write a book about teaching children proper behavior. I've read it but I'm sorry to say I can't recall the title right now.

This is what my parents expected out of me at that age: "yes ma'am, yes sir" no elbows on dinner table chew with mouth closed "thank you" "please" The Basics :) (most people do not do these as adults)

Here is what we have taught our son: He must say please, thank you, excuse me, yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, no ma'am to all adults. He has good table manners which include: Proper use of a knife, fork, and spoon. Tucking his paper napkin in his shirt collar as soon as he is seated, chewing with his mouth closed, asking to be excused from the table when he is finished eating. Ken Johnson, Dallas, Texas

Clean up after you are finished playing

Emphasize the use of the words "please" and "thank you," make sure they address adults as "miss ______" or "mister _______" unless otherwise indicated by the adult in question, clean up after yourself, brush your own teeth, good working knowledge of the words "excuse me" and their correct usage (when trying to say something to someone not paying direct attention to them for example), chewing with the mouth closed. Those are just basic things that should be worked on actively and not necessarily mastered at that age, IMO.

As a parent, choose the children's friends carefully. Children learn a lot of behaviors from their friends, and it's always a good idea to surround them with good behaving kids from good families who have parents with great parenting skills.