You are a great parent. Everyone says so. You are proud when they tell you. One day your much loved child says "I am gay. I never told you because I was scared of how you would react." How do you feel and what did you do wrong?
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Freddy Says remove all moderation points
ANSWERS: 22
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I would feel devastated that my child was afraid to tell me, and I would in fact question where I went wrong in that my child was afraid to be honest with me.
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Must have done something wrong for my child to feel they can't be open with me. As for him or her being gay. That wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
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Just, because my child is "scared" doesn't mean that I did anything wrong. I would open the door, and we'd talk forever.....When we were done they would not only know that I love, and accept them, but that they can come to me about anything without fear.
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I'd imagine that by the time she told me, I'd have already figured that out. Kind of like the big revelation at the end of Joe Millionaire when he told the girls that he wasn't a millionaire, and they were like "Yeah, no kidding." However, more on point to your question. Because this won't happen, if it were to happen, for another 20 years or so I'd have no idea how I'd feel about the situation. Also, as hard as I try to be the best parent possible, I do know of mistakes I've made in the past, and I will be wrong about things in the future. Just not sure if any of that would influence her sexual orientation when she gets older. As for now, she needs a good butt wiping. Now where did I put that clothes pin?
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Your child is still your child, you are the people that are supposed to love them unconditionally. They are still the same person that they were, the day before they told you, when you loved them so much. Besides, they were born that way, they've probably suspected they were gay since elementary school, and for some of the reasons you'll read here, didn't want to tell you. I've known of parents that have disowned their own child. With all they hear about homophobia, it's a scary thing to tell anyone, which unfortunately includes their family.
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Maybe its just not something you talked about alot so they simply didnt know how you would react. All that really matters is the way you deal now.. Once your child can see they have your support with this i think everything else will be a breeze. Im sure your a wonderful mother
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Why was my child afraid to tell me the truth? Didn't we ever discuss bigotry and a person's inherent right to be who they are? Didn't we ever talk about embracing the differences and relishing the unique makeup of every human being? Didn't I demonstrate these values in my own life? This is what I would be feeling and thinking in these circumstances.
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I did nothing wrong and neither did my child. It makes me proud that he/she felt I could be trusted with this information, even though it was not forthcoming right away. Nothing would change on my end at all and I don't see why it should change for my child, other than that he/she no longer needs to feel apprehensive about my knowing. :)
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It might be helpful to reflect on what ways your behaviour has either been homophobic, or heterosexist in the past. Homophobia meaning discrimination against LGBTTIQQ, and heterosexism meaning either the assumption that people are straight, or the belief that being straight is the 'normal' and 'correct'. Those two elements are so common culturally and individually that people often don't even notice it when they say something heterosexist or sometimes homophobic. However, for someone who might be LGBTTIQQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, transexual, intersexed, queer, or questioning) those situations might be hard not to notice or to ignore. And just a question (and suggestion) directed at the other part of your question: Whose opinion of your parenting could matter more? I'd think your child's opinion might be a good place to start to help you figure out what you can do to parent them. There's always time to become more open and supportive in the ways that your particular child needs! :-)
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It doesn't make you any less of a parent. I haven't told my parents about my boyfriend because I don't know how they will react. They are still great parents, though.
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I would wonder why my child was apprehensive about coming to me with this information. If I become a parent, I want to remain open minded and recognize that my child has a right to do what they wish with their life. I would be supportive of my child's sexual identity.
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I would still love my child as much and i wouldnt think i'd done anything wrong as a parent. There is nothing wrong with being gay, lots of people are, so what?? As long as the person is happy and healthy then sexuality doesnt matter. There are a lot worse things in life than your child being gay. BUT i would be upset that my child has kept this to him/herself and didnt have the courage to tell me in the first place, that would bother me.
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You did absolutely NOTHING wrong!! Being gay isn't a bad thing... It's just something you aren't use to yet... Be there for your child and love them just as much as you did before you knew that!!
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Well, I hope you mean what I did wrong since he was afraid to tell me. Probably didn't tell him often enough that you loved him for what he is, not what most people would expect him to be
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I would feel sorry that my child felt this way. I have always taught my child that people are equal and valuable, despite their differences. I would be very surprised if my child withheld his sexuality from me based on fear. As a parent, my child could have this fear even if I did nothing wrong. I think it must be a very scary thing to tell your family, even if your family is accepting, because there would still be a fear of your relationship changing in some way. Great question.
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Oh, someone down rated me, I guess they have a problem with gays? So sad.
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I am allready open with my little girl,it's best I think to always have a open ming and to start teachimg young . My little girl is only 3.and allerady knows people are diffrent in many ways. If she was to "come out" to me that she was gay later on then that dosent make her not my child anymore. Still love your children nomatter what. Always be open and aware how they are and dont be afraid to ask them questions and that way they wont be "scared" of what you may think of them .
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I'd feel so sad that they didn't feel comfortable enough to tell me and totally bummed my gaydar is is failing on me
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YOU DIDN'T NECESSARILY DO ANYTHING WRONG. THE MEDIA AND THE MOVIE INDUSTRY HAVE A POWERFUL FORCE AND SHORT OF A MIRACLE; IT IS HARD TO CONTROL WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND OUR CHILDREN. WE CAN SHOW OUR CHILDREN THE WAY TO GREAT SUCCESS...AT THE END...THEY'LL MAKE THE DECISION TO DO WHAT THEY CHOOSE TO DO OR CAPRICIOUSLY CHOOSE TO DO. (I KNOW OF GREAT PARENTS THAT LOVE THEIR CHILDREN AND LED THEM IN THE BEST & RIGHT MANNER THAT THEY KNEW HOW AND YET, THEIR CHILDREN ARE DOING DRUGS AND STEALING, ETC.) YOU CAN LOVINGLY TELL YOURCHILD : THE REASON THAT YOU DIDN'T TELL ME, WAS NOT ONLY BECAUSE YOU WERE AFRAID OF HOW WE WOULD REACT BUT RATHER ALSO BECAUSE YOU KNEW IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS THAT YOU WERE PERHAPS DOING SOMETHING NOT RIGHT. THE BOTTOM LINE, I CANNOT TIE YOU UP OR CHAIN YOU UP, I HOPE THAT YOU WILL CONSIDER ALL THINGS CAREFULLY AND AT THE END, YOU AND YOU ALONE WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR DECISIONS.WE WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD, NOW THAT YOU'VE GROWN UP YOU ARE ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS..WE WILL LOVE YOU WHETHER WE AGREE WITH YOU OR NOT.....MY 2 CENTS WORTH...GOD BLESS, AC
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id be happy because he is finally telling something and also theirs nothing wrong with being gay
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I guess I would be surprised....I wouldn't feel any differently about him though.....I wouldn't think I had done anything wrong. You don't have to do something wrong just because your child ends up being gay...
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utterheartbreak....i did nothing wrong......its a demon they have to deal with themselves .....as we all have... sexual urges and prefrences are not something a parent has control over or of another human being....never was and never will be....but that does not mean u do not love them still , u just cannot CONDONE it.....i'd just let it be known they were always welcome as lone as decent and respectful...but them , not their partner in WRONG, EVER<NEVER....
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