In a divorce, why are the children always used as a pawn between the man and woman?

They aren't always. However, when they are, it is often because the hatred of one or both of the parents for the other is such that they really don't care what they are doing to the children. They might say that what they are doing is for the children, but it is all really about hurting the ex.

Usually because they can't stand each other , during this time . And some may feel that if they talk to the other , that mabey an arguement will come up . And sometimes like Glenn said . It's also that it could be that they are blinded by their own anger that they really can't see what they are doing . My ex is trying this crap right now . Through a custody hearing . We have 2 children but is only going after 1 child . To get at me . Not thinking that he is splitting up the siblings .

I KNOW..IT MESSED ME UP FOR LIFE.

I went through this for years after my divorce. He used the kids out of anger at me. He was angry that I left him. My EX was angry that he had to pay child support. Anger that he could not control the support money. Anger that I used the support money to put the kids into school activities. Anger when I eventually met someone else.

Bottom line is he was angry because he could not control me any longer

Children are the leverage. They are what means the most to the other person so they are the best tool for jacking with them. It's really quite effective. Worked on me.

Because children are the link that binds the parents together forever.

i dont no, my wife took my kids and had them erve me with a paper to not go near them

Mine was never used as a pawn. We encouraged our child to see the other parent. Maturity is a good thing to have in a divorce.

They aren't always. If you have 2 mature people getting a divorce they will help the kids through it as best they can. Parents should be parents first.