Are mother-in-laws scapegoated? Could it ever be the daughter-in-law or son-in-law causing the problem?

Any one can be a total nasty twit...

The beauty is that they can also choose to change their ways...

and...

The one's being affected by the nasty twitisms can (at least to a point) realize that the nasty twitisms are NOT NECESSARILY related to them..but simply the manner in which the nasty twit chooses to behave as a general rule!

You can strive to resolve or at least reach a neutral balance so as not to harm the feelings of children or family pets.

And...REJOICE that YOU ARE NOT GOING TO STOOP TO THAT LEVEL OF BEING a NASTY TWIT! (You retain your right to have your fun...and harm none.)

Mother-in-laws are stereotyped, that's all. My mother-in-law is super. The only ones who have trouble with her are the troublemakers.

Absolutely. But the in-law always has his/her spouse that has to back him/her up in order to keep peace between the couple.
Also, mother-in-laws can sometimes stick their noses into places they shouldn't.

Of course it could be, but there is something about mothers-in-law that makes them psychos! In my case, my mother-in-law and her husband are both evil; she made fun of her son to the point that he still hates himself, and her husband used to choke my husband until he passed out when he was mad. Yet, they have the nerve to tell me I am a bad parent because I grounded my 13-year-old after she lied to my husband, saying I had given her permission to spend the night somewhere. When I called her at her friend's house to tell her she had to come home, she hung up on me. Then I picked her up and when I stopped at the gas station, she got out of the car and ran away. I had to search for her. If that's not worth a grounding, I don't know what is! My father-in-law said my husband and I grounded her because we don't like her! LOL, psycho!

They could be but its usually the mother in law because they don't like the fact that they're little boy or little girl is growing up and out on their own so they take it out on the one person they decide to blame. The s/o

I was a mother-in-law for a few years, honestly I did everything I could to make that girl feel loved. I bent over backwards to always be in a joyful mood, never give advise, never tell her how to do anything different. I tryed everything, because I did love her. Then a girl she worked with who was going out with my other son, told me that "daughter-in-law" said terrible things about me at break time each day. I still tryed, until the day our granddaughter was born, she told my son we could not come to the hospital till the next day. Broke my heart. I could never feel the same again. So, its not always the mother-in-law:(

I think it's a traditional thing.

Way back when, possibly in the age (even though I know it's still common in alot of cultures) of brides coming with a price that involved land or farm-animals, Brides were brought into the husband's family with the intention of them assuming the role of carer for the family. Also, the very act of bringing a Bride into a family of in-laws basically infers that she is up against her entire new family, is at their mercy and has to adapt to the new family and what they want, need, demand and wish.

Whilst this is tradition, it's not necessarily the way things are anymore.

However, that said, there's no saying that it's not both ways - both mothers-in-law and their daughters/sons in-law can be the monster counterparts.

I get along really well with my mother-in-law and have almost forgiven her for (4 years or so ago) throwing out my bridal bouquet and not collecting and keeping the newspapers from the day of our wedding for posterity - at the time, these were the only two jobs we gave her as she didn't exactly approve of us getting married (and actually was fairly racist and rude about our marriage - she told me on more than one occasion that we should just elope!!!).

But all drama aside re my mother-in-law, I do love her to bits and pieces and after she finally accepted me in her life and realised I'm quite useful as I remember things like her birthday and organise awesome gifts for her (which she apparently didn't get from anyone in the family till I came along and started splashing out and showing up her family), it's mutual.

No its you

no it's allways the mother in law because ther just as interfering as your biological mother the only differance is they dont love you.